


Power of Memories Continuation: Solace Arc

by the_protector_of_light



Series: The Power of Memories [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Blood and Injury in later chapters, Continuation of old series, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, OC Breakups, post-canon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 02:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 71,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18401330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_protector_of_light/pseuds/the_protector_of_light
Summary: Continuation of an old series from several years ago, mainly just unfinished fragments. After the events of Power of Memories, there is a brief period of peace. Soon, however, Sora, Riku, and Kairi are called upon to find other missing Keyblade Wielders. Not willing to leave their children behind, Akio and Haru are brought along for the journey, along with a stowaway. What shows hope to be a simple trip to keep a family together turns to tragedy with the arrival of a mysterious man known as Solace, who has come to prove that not all light is good. (Posted in entirety 6/10/19) (Origin of Solace from Chains of Light)





	1. Respite

**Author's Note:**

> So...I've had this stuff written for years, but I was hoping to get it perfect and edit Power of Memories to a better form to repost before posting this. However, that has yet to happen, so I have decided to post what I have completed and work on finishing up the incomplete bits. I know Power of Memories didn't have many readers, so I hope if you look at this, you will go back and read the original, no matter how cliche it may be.

Respite

Part 1

 “Hey Dad, I’m going to go over to the little island.” Akio stopped by the door to wait for Sora’s reply, same as always.

Sora looked over the back of the couch. “Okay,” he said. “Is something wrong?”

“Nope. Just need a little while to myself.”

“Okay then. Be careful.” Sora grinned and turned back to his book.

Akio smiled and left. The others… Mom, Haru, Riku… they all read too deeply into things. When he said nothing was wrong, they assumed something was. That was why he didn’t tell them he was leaving or where he was going. Sometimes they didn’t even notice his absence, which Akio didn’t mind… But he always told his dad that he was going somewhere in case something happened. Sora never pushed as much as the others. He accepted that everything was fine, and that if it wasn’t, Akio would say something.

All in all, Akio didn’t think himself as complicated as everyone else did. Yes, he had his moments, and he had spent a lot of his life hiding his emotions; but that was all the more reason to be open and honest now. He wanted them to understand… but they didn’t listen.

Sora was cool though. He didn’t ask questions there were no answers to. He didn’t believe things were there that weren’t. It was nice to have someone who believed you at face value when that was truly all you meant by it.

0o0o0

“I’m going to the little island again,” Akio said as he crossed through the living room.

Sora looked over from the couch. “You know, sometime I should go with you and show you around. I’m sure there are things you haven’t seen there.”

Akio paused. “Yeah, sometime. But I want to be alone today.”

“Okay then. Have fun!”

“Oh, and Dad? If they ask where I am, you can tell them, but if they don’t ask…”

“Got it,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks.”

0o0o0

Akio never really felt like he could tell any of the others about things that happened, but Sora seemed to understand more in general, so why wouldn’t he understand that there was only so much he wanted to talk about? Beyond that, even recent events felt easier to recount to his father than the others.

“They just don’t get it, you know?” Akio said. “They read too much into things; usually I just mean what I say.”

“I think that’s hard for most people to understand,” Sora said. “I mean, you always seemed to be so secretive. I can see where they’re coming from.”

“Yeah, well…” He sighed. “Before I beat Xehanort, I was a mess. I had so much anxiety, and instead of breaking down, I always used to act angry. It was my way of processing things,” he explained. “But when I said I wasn’t angry, it’s because I wasn’t. When I said there was nothing wrong, it was because I couldn’t pinpoint what was. Sometimes my outward appearance doesn’t match what I’m thinking, and when people don’t listen to the words, it’s frustrating.” Sora nodded in acknowledgement, seeming like he understood even more now that he already had. “Anyway, thanks for listening.”

0o0o0

Haru and Kairi were beginning to get worried. They hadn’t seen Akio all day. Finally, Kairi though to approach Sora. “Sora: can you help us look for Akio?”

“Huh?” Sora looked up from the book he was reading. “He said he was going to the little island, is he not there?”

She stared blankly at him for a moment. “The little island. He told you where he was going?”

“Well, yeah. He usually does.” Sora shrugged. “He goes over there a few times a week. He always says he needs some time alone.”

Kairi felt her eye twitch a little. “Why haven’t you told me about this before?”

“He said he could if you asked,” he said, “but if you didn’t ask, not to tell you.”

Kairi shook her head. “Aren’t you worried about him running off like that so often?”

“He doesn’t run off; he tells me where he’s going,” Sora reiterated, “and I don’t worry. He says he wants to be alone and that you, Haru, and Riku don’t understand that.”

“He talks to you about things?” Kairi asked in confusion. “But he just…”

“He’s right you know; about you not understanding,” Sora noted. “I think that’s why he talks to me. He means what he says, not what you see.”

Kairi sighed, but a smile snuck onto her face. There was just something about Sora…

 

 

 

Respite

Part 2

“Hey Mom?” Akio entered the living room.

She was the only one in it, and she honestly was shocked that Akio would talk to her. “Yes?” she asked. She fought adding the thought _what do you need that Sora can’t help you with?_ And she didn’t sit down her knitting since it probably wasn’t important.

“I wanted—I wanted to apologize,” he explained as he came across the room, “for how I acted before.”

“What?” She looked up. “You don’t need to—”

“Yes, I do,” he argued. “I acted like a jerk; and I’m sorry I apologized to Dad before you… I know that’s why you’re more upset.”

“It’s not big deal,” she lied.

“He just… he gets it, you know?” Akio said. Kairi tilted her head at the words, wondering what he meant. “He doesn’t read too deeply into things. He listens when I say nothing’s wrong or that I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kairi was silent for a moment. Sora had said as much, but now it was confirmed. “It’s okay; really.”

Akio frowned. He could tell it wasn’t. “Anyway, that’s one half done. Now onto the other.” He shook his head. “I know there’s not excuse for how I acted, but at least I can explain it.” She was quiet. She didn’t want to scare him away. “I was… I was going through a hard time before we found you guys… I had almost lost the hope that I had always held on to. I had nearly given up on ever finding you guys.”

“Akio?” she started to ask.

“I had hoped for so long. All my life I promised myself that you would come back or I would find you… and you didn’t, and I couldn’t. I had gotten to the point I didn’t talk to anyone at all… well, until I started yelling back at Aunt and Uncle.” He shook his head. “The thing is, even once I left the islands and Haru and I started to search, I didn’t really believe we would find you. I had no reason to. Part of me was going along to humor Haru.” He sighed. “Even when Origin said he held you captive, I didn’t believe him. It wasn’t until I saw you guys that I believed again, and then it sucked because I had finally found you and I was sure I was going to die.

“Once it was all over and we came back home… I hadn’t had time to get better. Even though I had Haru, I didn’t have time to get out of that hole,” Akio said. “So even when we got back to the islands, I was starting from scratch in a place I wasn’t used to; a place where people cared. It was overwhelming. It was nice, but I was scared I’d mess it up and you’d hate me, and for some reason, I thought the best way to prevent that from happening was to make you hate me from the start.”

“Akio, we’d never hate you.”

There was a silent moment. “Logically, I know that,” Akio finally said. “But emotionally, not so much.”

Kairi didn’t respond. She didn’t know how to, and she felt terrible for that; but she was too shocked to say a word.

Akio shrugged. “That’s why I acted like that. I was scared, and when I was afraid I acted angry and aggressive, so no one would know how I really felt. I didn’t know how to deal with people caring, and I knew I was holding Xehanort prisoner.” He paused. “I didn’t know what you would do if you found out, so I tried to keep my distance. That’s why I ran off.” He paused. “You asked about that Keyblade; you said you were worried. What if… what if you were right and Xehanort had an influence over me? What would you have to do? So… I ran.”

“We wouldn’t’ve hurt you.”

Akio was relieved, but he didn’t believe the words. “Thanks for talking to me though the door that day,” he said. “It was… it was nice to have someone who cared and wanted to help me feel less upset. I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain.”

She blinked. “But you ran; you still ran.”

“I was scared,” he repeated. “I didn’t want to listen. What if you’d been right and Xehanort could gain control of me? We know it was proven true.”

Kairi was wordless once more.

“Anyway, I didn’t tell anyone about Xehanort, and I’m not sure I would have gone back if Yami hadn’t talked me into it.” He paused. “You met Yami, right?”

“Yes.”

“He’s cool; he may have started out as the darkness in my Heart, but now he’s a friend.” He sighed. “Once the fight was over, I should’ve apologized sooner. I should’ve told you when I was leaving, but you always think something’s wrong! I just like to be alone.”

“I’m sorry I do that,” Kairi apologized. “I just worry.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry! I’m okay now… or at least, I will be.” He looked down. “Having forced introspection was really helpful in getting my mind back together, and now like I had been pretending to be doing. The whole ‘the past is in the past’ mantra I told Haru was a lie and I knew it. But I thought that maybe one do I would believe it… I was kind of right.” He shook his head. “Things are getting better now. They weren’t perfect, but I’m glad to be back and I’m glad to have you guys around. Maybe one of these days I’ll act happy again.”

“What do you mean by ‘act happy’?” she worried.

“That’s what you want, right?” he asked. “You want smiles and laughter and friendliness. That’s what everyone wants to see.”

“Akio, I want you to be happy, but I don’t want you to pretend.”

“Huh.” Akio was baffled. “You’re telling me that there’s not something wrong with me because I can’t fake a smile anymore?”

“Of course there’s nothing wrong with you!” Kairi could feel her anger growing. “Who told you there was?”

There was a long paused. “Everybody,” he stated. “’Sora would smile, Kairi would laugh, you used to smile, what happened to you?’” he quoted. “’You used to be more happy; you should smile more; smile, it makes things easier; would it kill you to be happy for me; you should be more like your parents; they were happy…” Kairi listened in horror as she realized people had actually said these things. His face fell with each one. “You’re nothing like your parents…” He trailed off for a moment. “I used to act so happy… that made people happy. And then one day, I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Akio, you don’t have to act happy when you’re not. But… who told you those things? That doesn’t sound like something kids would say…”

“They aren’t.”

“Was it your aunt and uncle then?”

“No, they knew not to go there.” Akio shook his head. “They were teachers, shopkeepers, old friends of yours.” He paused. “You’re seriously saying I don’t need to pretend to be happy?”

“Of course, I am!” She was startled by the revelation that it had been people whom she thought would be kind to him. “You don’t have to pretend to be anything!”

“Well…” he stopped. He didn’t know what more to say, and that was a terrible feeling. “Thanks…” he decided on. “I… I thought you’d be disappointed. I was so sorry I couldn’t hop into being happy. I’m sorry I’m not like you.”

Kairi almost wanted to cry. He had opened up to her… and it was with something like this. “Akio, even if you weren’t like us, you don’t need to be. You can just be you. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Really?” Akio seemed unsure of what else to say. “Okay… I’ll try to keep that in mind.” Kairi stood up and hugged him. His muscles were stiff at first, but eventually he relaxed and hugged her back. “Thanks, Mom,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” she said. “And thank you for talking to me.”


	2. Short: Throwing Away Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: self harm, specifically cutting.
> 
> Hey, I decided to continue posting this even though few have read it.

Throwing Away Destiny

0o0o0

                They hurt, just like they always did, but it was a familiar kind of pain, and Akio needed familiar right now.

                Having to fight against Xehanort; almost dying… so much had changed. His Mom and Dad were being a little less pushy, but their caring was still strange and uncomfortable. They were trying to understand, and he was trying to let them. Haru had been so weird since the Xehanort incident, so convinced that he needed Akio to function… He was so needy, and Akio couldn’t deal with needy.

                It was strange to be awake after so long, and so much had changed.

                There wasn’t much blood, though some. Akio had made sure that the cuts weren’t deep enough for there to be much; but the wounds still needed treatment and that ritual of ointment and bandages was nearly as therapeutic as the razor against his skin was. It had been so long since he had done it, since before his first journey, and now it felt so right. He knew that it was wrong and that self-harm wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism and now everything was _fine_ and he shouldn’t _need_ one anyway. But… it felt normal. In a world where nothing was the same, this simple act made things feel a bit like everything was back in place and brought him back to center.

                The pain was cleansing like the last pieces of darkness that Xehanort had left behind were washed away with the blood, as strange as it sounded. He just felt so much _better_ after this. Besides: nothing was really _wrong_ about it. He wouldn’t do it again. It was okay.

                Or so he thought as he grabbed his sweater to put it back on, until he heard a creak from the doorway and a soft gasp. Haru’s gaze darted between the bandages and Akio’s bandaged arms. “What happened?” Then his eyes widened as he came to realization.

                “It’s nothing,” Akio insisted, sliding the garment over his arms to cover the bandages. He was still calm over this, but he suddenly remembered why he hadn’t done this in so long… People payed attention now; they cared.

                “It’s got to be something. Come on, you can talk to me,” Haru pressed.

                “I said it’s nothing.” Akio was trying not to get annoyed with Haru, but it was hard. “You wouldn’t understand.”

                “What, don’t you trust me?”

                “Of course I trust you!” Akio snapped. “Just drop it, okay?”

                “Was it something I did?” Haru worried.

                “Why would it be?” Akio replied. It wasn’t just Haru… That wasn’t to say it wasn’t part of it.

                “If I did something, just tell me!” Haru exclaimed. “You trust me; you said you did.”

                “Shut up Haru.” Akio said through gritted teeth. He was beginning to lose his cool and this time his anger wasn’t fake. His emotions had been running wild before, but they had been calmed down by this ritual. Now Haru was stirring them up again. “I do trust you. I just don’t want to talk about it, because nothing is wrong!”

                Haru shook his head. “Come on, Akio, just talk to me! I know I must have done something.”

                “You know, Haru; not everything is about you.” Akio glowered. “I didn’t do this because I was mad at you. I’d never do this _to_ you, or anyone. Seriously Haru, grow up. There are other parts of my life that you don’t know about, and you don’t need to know about them.”

                “Akio, I—“

                “I’m leaving now,” he said as he shoved Haru out of the way. “I need some time alone.” He dropped the razor from his hand into the trashcan as he passed.

                “Akio?” he heard Haru ask in disbelief as he headed out the door.

0o0o0

                _Yami was frustrated. He couldn’t get in a word or reassurance. Akio was blocking him out. “Akio, are you okay?” he asked not expecting a response. He didn’t get one._

_It wasn’t that he needed to know if Akio was okay after the cutting; it was after how he had acted with Haru. Was he feeling guilty? No… he felt his energy. There was no fear or sadness or guilt. There was only anger towards Haru for breaking his calm._

_“Where are we going?” Yami wondered as he caught glimpses of the world passing by._

_“We’re going where I can be alone,” Akio answered to Yami’s surprise. “Where do you think?”_

0o0o0

                Akio climbed onto the circular island far from the main islet, abandoned so many years ago. He hoped that no one would think to look here for a while, because he really did just want some time alone that he apparently couldn’t get in his own bedroom. He didn’t get much of that anymore. Even now, there was Yami in the background. He would never want Yami gone, but…

                _“You want privacy,”_ Yami acknowledged. _“Gotcha. I’ll try to stop paying so much attention for the time being. Let me know when you’re good.”_

                “Thanks, Yami,” Akio muttered.

                He lay back in the sand, the sun beating down to strongly on his covered body, but as always he’d never take the sweater off. It was a peaceful and forgiving day outside. The sky was especially blue and a few wispy clouds flew overhead. The ocean breeze was salty and burnt his nose; it would have made his cuts sting if they hadn’t been covered.

                The quiet sounds of the crashing waves were soothing, calming him down from his anger from earlier. He wanted to cut again; it was an addiction that he thought he had beaten, but it would never go away. Now he had reawakened the desire and it was unreasonable of him to have thought it would be so easy to make it a one-time thing.

                But even though he had snuck a razor and some bandages in his pocket before he left the room in case this feeling returned he didn’t pull it out to use it. He would never _, never_ cut himself in the presence of his old sweater, so why change that habit with a new one? He treated them like they had eyes that could see and would be disappointed. The old one had always been shoved under his bed when he cut before, and this one had been the same. Here there was nowhere to hide it without getting it full of sand.

                So instead he rolled up his sleeves, holding his arms above him in the sunlight to examine the old scars and new bandages. The cuts were already switching from stinging to itching from healing. The scars from before were fading but not gone; they never would be, at least not for a long time no matter how many techniques he had tried to get rid of them. Before when he had seen them, he was ashamed, during and after their past journeys; but now he felt no shame in the reminders of times passed. No longer did he feel like he was dirty for having done it so many times. There was no self-hatred. There was no fear. This wasn’t a punishment this time… it was a reminder, a way to remember the past he had been trying so hard to forget.

                A thought occurred to him and he laughed. If he wanted to, he could probably cast a cure spell and easily close the wounds and remove the bandages; but he didn’t want to. He pulled his sleeves back down so they covered his hands and put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. The sun felt really nice and he was tired; maybe a nap would do him good.

                “Nah,” he decided, sitting up. “No point.”

                Something caught his eyes as he turned his head. The fruit on the tree—a paopu fruit. He stared at the fruit. “Why the hell is that here?”

                There was only one on the tree. He walked over and pulled it off, not stopping to look at it before he threw it into the ocean. “I don’t want to be connected to someone forever. I want to just be me, okay universe? Can you just understand that and stop sending me stupid signs?” The thought made him reach into his other pocket and pull out his Wayfinder that he’d sloppily repaired at best. He couldn’t fix it. Nothing he had tried could make it back to normal, and honestly… he wasn’t sure he wanted it to be. “Destiny, fate: fuck it all! I’m tired of destiny. I make my own choices! Destiny, fate… They have _no_ place in my life!

                “My last journey… I don’t believe that there was any fate in what happened to me!” Akio yelled at nothing. “Every choice I made; I made them! Things could have come out way worse, but just because they didn’t doesn’t make it destiny!” He shook his head. “Keyblades; so much destiny in those stupid swords! Well, I don’t care. Maybe fate _did_ have a place in my life, but it’s not staying there! To hell with destiny. This world is meant for other things, things that _I_ decide! And I’ve decided that I don’t want to be another pawn in another game!” Screaming up at the sky was oddly therapeutic.

                He paused as he examined the broken Wayfinder. “I wonder; is this what Xehanort wanted?” He looked around, hoping that Yami wouldn’t chime in just yet. “Did he want me to be alone again? Did he want me to lose that connection?” He slipped the charm back into his pocket. “Well, I’m not alone; I just… I just want to be separate! And Yami, you’re different. I just mean from Haru; and Mom and Dad!”

                He sighed, staring up at a seagull flying overhead. “I don’t need them for me not to hate myself anymore. I’m okay now! I care about them, I just…” He looked back down at the island beneath his feet. “I could survive if they were gone again. I wouldn’t be happy, but I’d survive…. I want to be me and I don’t need Haru to be complete. I don’t need anyone else!” He closed his eyes. “Yami, I know you’re listening. Go ahead and say what you’re thinking.”

                _“You’re right that you don’t need them to be whole, and you’re right that you still care about them. I really have nothing to argue with you about,”_ Yami agreed. _“And… we’ll never know what all Xehanort wanted. He wanted your body, and maybe nothing else. Even if he wanted you to be less connected, if it makes you happy then you’re doing things right.”_

                “This is going to hurt Haru, isn’t it?” Akio acknowledged as he looked at the sand. “This is really going to hurt him, but… I want to do it now, so that he stops thinking that I feel the same. It’s not fair to him this way!”

                _“It’s not fair for either of you,”_ Yami added.

                Akio had been expecting it about now, and he saw Haru step off onto the dock on the other side of the island. Akio sighed. “I’d better do this before I chicken out,” he reaffirmed. He hopped off the island and waded over to the main beach.

                They met on the center of the beach. Haru tried to catch his breath from running. “Akio, I’m sorr—“

                “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about,” Akio interrupted. “Stop apologizing.”

                “What did I do?” he pressed.

                “Haru, what the hell makes you think that you did anything?” Akio crossed his arms moodily. “You didn’t. It wasn’t something that anyone did.”

                “But Akio, that makes no sense—“

                “Shut up, Haru,” Akio snapped. “I don’t care if it doesn’t ‘make sense’ to you. I just don’t give a fuck.”

                Haru stared like he’d seen a ghost. “Akio?”

                Akio realized that he hadn’t been so brash with Haru in a very long time. Maybe Haru hadn’t seen this side at all; the real him. He had been way too careful to be nice; to all of them. It was all part of the problem. “Listen, Haru, I’ve needed to talk to you for a while anyway.”

                “…What about?” Haru looked nervous, and Akio knew it was for good reason.

                “I don’t feel the same way that you do.” Akio was straight to the point. “Way back after our first journey, you said you loved me. I’ve never told you the same, because I don’t think I ever did. I don’t want you to keep thinking that I do in that way. You’ll just get even more hurt than you’ll be now.” He paused. “You keep talking about how on that last journey, where I was unconscious, you wouldn’t have been able to function without thinking about me. That you needed me there.” He shook his head. “Well, when I was fighting Xehanort, I fought to stay with you, and Mom and Dad; but not once did I wish you were there. I didn’t need you to survive.”

                Haru’s eyes widened. “W-what are you saying?”

                Akio sighed. He was sad to be upsetting Haru so much, but it was right. “I don’t love you like that, okay?” Realization crossed Haru’s face. “So… I’m breaking up with you. I’m tired of pretending to be nice. I’m tired of pretending in general. I’m tired of you thinking something that’s not true.”

                “You’re breaking up with me?” Haru whimpered. “What did I do?” Tears began to fill his eyes.

                “For the millionth time, Haru, you didn’t do anything! At least, that’s not the reason.” Akio threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Yeah, you’ve been acting all weird, wanting to be with me constantly, saying stupid things like ‘I can’t take care of myself’; that you need me to survive.” He crossed his arms. “But Haru, all those things did was prove to me that I don’t feel the same. You’re still my friend, but I could never return those feelings!”

                Haru flinched. “But… our Wayfinders; you promised we’d always be together…”

                Akio frowned. “You don’t understand,” he said. He put a hand on Haru’s shoulder. “As long as you want it, we’ll be friends. That’s the promise I made when we were kids, that’s the one I’ll always keep.” Haru looked up at him. “In that way, we’ll always be together. Our hearts are connected… just not romantically.”

                Haru wiped his eyes. “Always f-friends?” He didn’t seem happy, but at least he didn’t seem so destroyed anymore. “No matter what?”

                “Right! Friends! No matter what happens!” Akio tried to smile, but it was hard while watching Haru stand there like that. He almost wanted to take his words back just to see him happy. But he wouldn’t.

                “It won’t be weird?” Haru asked.

                “Not for me. If you accept it and try to move on from this; if you can let go, then things will be fine,” Akio assured.

                Haru reluctantly nodded. “But you’re sure what happened earlier had nothing to do with this?”

                “For the love of god Haru, how much do I have to say: _no!_ ” Akio rolled his eyes. “It had nothing to do with you; it had nothing to do with anyone. It was just…” Akio paused. He didn’t want the topic to continue, but he wanted to be honest. “It was familiar and so much has changed.”

                Confusion pushed its way in front of all of the emotions that Haru was exuding. “’Familiar?’”

                “I missed it.” He looked at the ground.

                “I don’t understand…”

                “It’s an addiction, Haru,” Akio offered. “Like a drug; it was an old coping mechanism that made things feel okay. It always has. So I missed it.”

                “How can pain make you feel ‘good’?”

                “Because then I don’t feel so numb.” Haru looked up. “All of our journeys; so much happened that I felt it. I was never afraid; it was exhilarating being in so much danger!” Akio sighed. “Now that we’re back here… things are dull and boring. Even with everyone around, it’s just not… it doesn’t seem real.”

                Haru paused. “So you’re not happy anymore.”

                “Not exactly,” Akio argued. “It’s just not enough, okay? Life needs certain things, and pain; well, it fills in the blanks!” He looked up at the sky. “Pain proves that things like have happened, happened. It tells me it’s real!” He looked back at his confused friend. “I don’t know how else to deal with things. Even on our journeys, I missed it.” He had said more than he meant to. Haru looked horrified, and Akio felt ashamed once more. That had been gone, but the way Haru was looking at him brought it back. Akio sighed. “I’m done talking,” he resigned. “I don’t think you understand, and I’m not sure I want you to.”

                Haru opened and closed his mouth. “I’m sor—“ he started to say; but he stopped.

                “Don’t be sorry.” Akio closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the waves, the wind, and the beating of his heart. “It’s no one’s fault but mine. And don’t worry; I’m better than ever.” He started towards the boats. “Do me a favor, though; don’t tell Mom and Dad about the cutting.”

                Haru flinched at how blunt he was before reluctantly nodding and following him to the docks.

 

0o0o0

                Haru was a wreck, and he didn’t know what to do about it. How could Akio have broken up with him after all they’d been through together? Did it mean nothing? They had been through so many worlds together, and without each other, both would have failed in any journey that they took on. How could he throw all that away?

                It was just too much. He was still getting over his other problems, and he had thought that he’d have Akio right there beside him; and while Akio insisted that he still would be; that they still would be friends, there was just something about it that made him feel very lonely. Akio didn’t love him. Haru should have known; he’d never said it. It only made sense when he thought about it.

                But Haru wasn’t very good at hiding his emotions and he wasn’t good at hiding while he tried and failed to. Riku noticed. “Haru, what’s got you so upset?” he worried.

                “Upset? What are you talking about?” Haru denied and tried to keep his voice from cracking once he returned to the kitchen. It didn’t help Haru to see that Akio was so calm and apathetic about the whole thing. How was he not even shaken?

                Riku gave him a look. “You know that you can talk to me, right?”

                And Haru really did want to talk it out. But they hadn’t even known that they were sort of dating in the first place, so it would be news and Akio might be mad that it was shared…

                Then again, if Akio didn’t care what he thought, then what would it hurt to not worry about Akio’s feelings?

                And so Haru started talking about so many things and eventually made it along the way to the particular conversation that had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. At some point Kairi had ended up in the room too (thankfully since Riku wasn’t really sure what to do in the situation when he son was so upset he was almost crying.) Together, they managed to talk to Haru and calm him down and reassure him that everything was going to be alright. It finally made sense to them just how dependent Haru was on Akio, and it helped them understand a lot of things.

                What it didn’t help them understand was why Akio had been in the living room but had left the when they began talking about him in the kitchen… Until Haru noticed and started to worry but refused to say anything as to why.

0o0o0

                Akio lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling, throwing a wad of balled up paper hard enough that it hit the ceiling before coming back down to the pile of papers beside him. They were talking about him. They were talking about how much a jerk he was, and for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to be too sad or betrayed over that. It was just such a strange day. He had had so many strange reactions to everything that it was confusing him to no end.

                He had come up here and wanted to cut again, but he stopped himself. He had taken out some paper and started drawing, but he ended up crumpling them all up and putting them in this pile that he now was throwing one by one into the air over and over and over. It was very distracting and nice and took out a lot of aggressive energy. He wanted to laugh for some reason at the thought of ‘aggressive energy’. Just how happy would that have made his aunt and uncle that he was _still_ having such a thing now that he was where no one was attacking him? He tried not to think about it. That was what they’d want; and he wasn’t going to give them what they wanted.

                There was a knock on his door. “Come in,” he offered. The door wasn’t locked. If he had been cutting again he wouldn’t have made the same mistake, but since he wasn’t he saw no point in blocking people out that much.

                “Hey,” his dad said as he came in.

                Akio kept throwing pieces of paper into the air. “What’s up?” he asked calmly.

                Sora was watching that for a moment. “How are you doing that?” he wondered briefly before shaking his head. “Uh, I mean, are you okay?”

                “What do you mean?” Akio knew what he meant.

                “Haru was just down there talking to us, and—“

                “What about it? I heard him before I came up here. He started talking about me, so I left.” What Akio said was one hundred percent true. He just hoped that he had kept _some_ of his promises and kept some things secret.

                “Oh.” Sora paused. “I, uh, meant about the breakup specifically.”

                “Oh? He got to that part?” Akio half-asked. He knew that he would. He knew exactly where the conversation had been going… he just hoped it only got so far. “Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, I’m a jerk, but we all already knew that.” He sat up. “And I bet he’s upset that I’m not upset.”

                Sora slowly nodded. He seemed surprised by how intuitive Akio was, but, well, he shouldn’t be. “Honestly, that was a big part of it.”

                Akio shrugged. “It was… freeing,” he explained. “So I’m not upset. I mean, I’m upset that he’s so upset, but otherwise, not so much.”

                His dad looked confused, and maybe a little uncomfortable; but Akio could tell that he knew he was telling the truth. “I’m, uh, not really sure what to say here. They sent me up because you usually trust me more, and if you were upset, they thought…”

                “Oh.” Akio paused. “Well, I’m not upset, so it doesn’t matter. I just came up here because I don’t like to hear people talking about me.”

                “Well, he also said that you ran off to the little island after some kind of argument; but he won’t tell us what about,” Sora reluctantly pressed; he didn’t want to mess up whatever little friendship and father-son relationship he was developing with his son, but he was worried. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

                “I’m fine,” Akio insisted. He tried to remain calm. At least Haru had apparently kept quiet about that. “I was just…” He paused and shook his head. “You know, if I knew how to explain, maybe I would. But I don’t.” He subconsciously crossed his arms and tried not to wince at the way his cuts stung at the tightening skin.

                Sora sighed before smiling. “If you figure it out and want to talk, you know that I’m always around here somewhere,” he promised. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

                “Thanks,” Akio said. Sora turned to leave. “And, uh, Dad?”

                Sora turned back around. “Hmm?”

                “Thanks for everything. Not just this.”

                Sora grinned again and then left, closing the door quietly behind him.

                Akio sighed once he was gone and rolled up his sleeves to see the bandages. Still no shame. It was just… He hoped that they never found out about the cuts. He wasn’t ashamed, but he hoped that they never had to face the truth.

                “Oh, and I forgot—“ Sora popped his head back into the room. Akio had yet to roll his sleeves back down, and there was a look that he saw and was processing.

                Akio, for his part, hurriedly rolled down his sleeves and put his hands in his sweater pockets. “Uh, what did you forget?” he tried nervously. Sora looked shocked and confused. Akio was beginning to wonder if he realized what he had seen and hoped that he hadn’t.

                “What happened?” Sora asked quietly as he came in and partially closed the door.

                “Nothing!” Akio insisted. “Nothing!”

                “But you’re hurt,” Sora disagreed.

                “It’s really nothing,” Akio tried again.

                Sora sighed. “Akio, I don’t know what to do. I want to help you, but I don’t want to push you away. I can’t force you to talk about it, but I feel like you need to.”

                Akio shook his head. “It won’t happen again, so it doesn’t matter, okay?”

                “It’s an addiction,” Sora said. Akio looked up at him. “It never goes away, and once you let it start again, it’s hard to stop.”

                “Huh?” Akio wondered. “How would you know?”

                Sora frowned. “It wasn’t my arms,” he said, and Akio knew what he meant.

                “But—everyone said that you were always so _happy._ What—“

                “I was just really good at covering up my depression,” Sora explained. “Before my journeys ever started; before I got the Keyblade. Things were just so… dull, and boring.” He sighed. “And when I got back, I was bored again. Nothing felt real without the adrenaline rush of adventure.”

                Akio stood there for a minute. “Oh,” was all he said. “Yeah. Same,” he finally admitted. “Though it’s been a long time since I was able to fake a smile.”

                “We can help you get through this, if you’ll just let us,” Sora said. But he looked… guilty.

                Akio noticed. “Please don’t think this is your fault,” he nearly begged, “because it’s not.”

                Sora paused. “I’ll try,” he agreed. “Is that what you and Haru argued about earlier?”

                “Yeah,” Akio said. “He thought I did it because I was mad at him or something, and I told him that wasn’t it, but he wouldn’t listen!” Akio sighed. “It wasn’t because of anybody or anything, it was just… familiar.” Sora nodded in understanding. “But it won’t happen again! I promise it won’t happen again!”

                “You don’t have to do this alone,” Sora pressed. “We’re here for you; maybe we weren’t for a long time, but we are now. Just… let us help.”

                Akio looked away. “That means you’ll have to tell Mom, huh?” He sighed. “…Okay. I’ll… I’ll try. I’ll try to let you help. But it won’t happen, so there’s no need for help!”

                Sora smiled. He paused. “Can I give you a hug?” he asked, not wanting to break boundaries if uncomfortable.

                Akio looked up. “Uh… sure.”

                Sora came over and gave him a quick hug. When he let go, he said, “We’re here for you, okay? We’ll help you get through whatever you need help with.”

                Akio realized that that meant that he knew about the food thing too. “…Thanks,” he decided to say. They knew more than he had realized and he was uncomfortable about that, but there wasn’t any way to change it, so he may as well just accept it. “But I’m really fine… really better than I was before.”

                “That’s good at least,” Sora said.

                “…Sorry,” Akio muttered.

                “What? You don’t need to be sorry for anything!” Sora assured. He looked saddened by the response.

                Akio shrugged. He felt like he did. He didn’t know what for, but he felt like he needed to apologize. For being so broken. For not being what they expected. For… for everything he had done wrong. But today, he couldn’t say that. Today, he wouldn’t hurt his dad more than he already had. He had hurt enough people enough for one day. He didn’t want to go back to being the monster that he had once been.

                Sora sighed. “I just wish there was a way that I could tell you that you’re my son and I love you, and that you’re fine just the way you are. But I don’t know how to get it to stick.”

                Akio shook his head. “Thanks for trying,” he said. “But for now… can you leave me alone again?”

                Sora reluctantly nodded and headed out the door, pausing to look back in and smile before leaving.


	3. Short: Dream Eater

Dream Eater

                Yami looked around the dream; he had made it. This wasn’t Akio’s dream. This was Haru’s.

                Yami searched the beach for Haru, and when he found him, he was quickly annoyed. He was dreaming about Akio… which wouldn’t be surprising, but it wasn’t the _cleanest_ dream. They had broken up! This was ridiculous.

                In response, Yami decided to interrupt the dream. “Hey dimwit!” he yelled.

                Haru’s head snapped towards him. He seemed to be processing what was happening. “Wait… Yami?”

                “Yep, glad you’re not too stupid to know that.” Yami came over as the image of Akio faded away. He wacked Haru on the head.

                “Ow,” Haru complained. “What was that for?”

                “That was for that dream you were having. And also, how you’ve been snubbing Akio ever since the other day.” Yami crossed his arms. “I’m glad I was able to come and yell at you. It’s refreshing. I’ve never gotten to before.”

                “I’m not snubbing him!” Haru disagreed. “It’s just… awkward.” He paused. “Is he mad?”

                “No. He’s not. Not at you, anyway.” Yami glared. “This is from me, not him. You’re an asshole.” Yami put his hands on his hips. “Just so you know: you and me? We’re not cool.  Want that to be perfectly clear from the start.”

                “Why?” Haru wondered. “What did I ever do to you?”

                “You’re a creepy idiot jerk who doesn’t understand boundaries. You’re needy and greedy and generally uninteresting. So much of what you did made him uncomfortable but he was afraid to say anything and hurt your feelings, and while he was right that he did, you don’t have to ‘make things weird’ like you are.” Yami didn’t stop glaring. “I came to let you know all of that. From me, not Akio.”

                Haru stood up. “You mean those are the reasons that he broke up with me?”

                “Kinda,” Yami admitted. He shook his head. “But don’t worry. He’s not mad at you. _I’m_ the one who will never _not_ be mad at you.”

                “Why can’t Akio and I be happy together?” Haru pled. “Tell me why, and maybe I can fix it!”

                “Why would I do that? We established that I don’t like you.” Yami crossed his arms. “He never would have been happy if things had stayed the same.”

                “What do you—“

                “You’ll always be friends,” Yami kept going, “but you were holding him back. You’re clingy. You’re creepy. Those are my opinions so don’t take it out on Akio. That’s just between me and you, capische?”

                “…Creepy?”

                “The ‘I don’t think I could live without you, I would have wandered off a cliff without your advice,’” Yami explained. He shook his head. “Look, you’ve really been fucking things up. I tried to be positive with you in the past. I mean, you saved his life. You’ve got to be worth something.” Haru just stared. “But I have _nothing_ to like about you after how you’ve been acting. You are irredeemable now. I will never defend you again. And that: that’s a promise.”

                “Did you really come all the way here, into my dreams, to tell me this? To tell me that some part of Akio despises me?” Haru looked hurt.

                Yami sighed. “I guess you’re right. I am part of Akio, so I guess some part of him resents you. But despise is a strong word.” Yami scoffed. “If you start being a decent human being, if you make Akio happy again, then you’ll be fine. I just won’t sing your praises.” Yami rolled his eyes. “I’ll leave you alone now, but stop being such a sicko. Dream about something dull and boring, or at least not… _that.”_ Yami shuddered. “You aren’t even dating anymore, and besides, that kind of thing is what was so creepy.” Yami turned around and walked away, disappearing and leaving Haru to stare at the space he had been in wonder.

0o0o0

                Yami entered what he hoped was Sora’s dream. “Oh boy.” He looked around at what he had never expected; a nightmare, and a bad one at that. That just wouldn’t do!

                He located Sora. “Hey Sora!” he called, waving his hand to make the dark alley filled with heartless shoving their way in disappear to a calm sunset beach.

                Sora turned and slowly and confusion crossed his face. “You’re… Yami, right?”

                “Ding ding!” Yami said with a shrug. “I hope it was okay that I stopped that nightmare.”

                “You did that?” Sora wondered. “Thank you!”

                “No problem, ray-of-sunshine man. Glad to help.”

                “What are you doing here?” he questioned.

                “Eh, I’m just doing a little exploring. Apparently I can travel the realm of dreams. Who’d of thought?” He smirked. “I wanted to thank you.”

                “Thank me?”

                “For being so cool about stuff,” he said. “You’re not pushy, you’re not overly questioning. You’re understanding and you don’t mind helping in a small way rather than trying to make some kind of immediately massive change in Akio’s life.”

                “Oh. You’re welcome.” Sora smiled. “I’m glad that I’ve been helping. I thought I was, but…”

                “He’s been really happy to see you guys, you know?” Yami explained. “Since you’ve been back I mean. He’s just not the best at showing emotions and all that.”

                “Yeah, I think I got that.” Sora nodded. “Thank you for helping him fight Xehanort.”

                “Oh?” Yami was surprised. “You’re welcome, I guess.” He paused and looked around. “Well, I’ve got more ground to cover. It was nice seeing you, Da—I mean, Sora.”

                Sora smiled. “You can call me Dad if you want.”

                “Oh, okay.” Yami rubbed the back of his head. “Anyway, I hope the rest of your dreams are good.”

                Sora opened his mouth to say something as Yami vanished.

0o0o0

                When Yami arrived in Kairi’s dream he was initially confused… but then he finally realized what it was. She was longing to see the childhood that she had missed, so her mind was creating a scenario of before they had left. Yami only hoped he had arrived in time to stop it from fading into a nightmare.

                “Yo Kairi,” Yami called.

                “Eh?” She turned around. “Wait, you’re Yami.”

                “Yep.”

                “So this is a dream?” she wondered as she looked around at the quiet home, all sounds of children that should have been there missing.

                “Yeah.” Yami frowned. “But you’ve got so much more to see; I promise you, it’s going to be okay.”

                “Thank you, Yami,” she said. “And, I never got a chance to thank you for helping Akio in that fight with Xehanort.”

                “Oh?” He was surprised that she’d say it too. “You’re welcome. I’d do anything for Akio.”

                She smiled. “I’m glad.” She looked around. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

                “I just thought I’d say hi,” he explained. “I figured out how to go to other people’s dreams. It’s nice, you know.”

                “Oh. I was worried something was wrong.” She looked relieved.

                “Nope. In fact, I came to thank you. You didn’t give up until Akio finally talked to you, but you did back off just enough that he did.” Yami smiled. “Thank you for your persistence. And thank you for telling him he doesn’t have to be happy for your sake. He’s never really understood that.”

                “You’re welcome,” she said in surprise. “He’s my son. I didn’t get a chance to be a mother before, but now that I am getting the chance, I see just how much he needs one.” She looked down. “I just wish it didn’t take me so long to figure him out.”

                Yami shrugged. “He’s complicated,” he decided. “He’s happy to see you guys, just so you know. He missed you.” He paused. “He told you that he had given up all hope of finding you guys when he got the Keyblade. Well, he was wrong; he still had some hope, just not much.”

                “I figured,” she agreed.

                “It’s like he finally got everything he ever wanted, but he wasn’t prepared for it. He’s just… having trouble adjusting I guess.”

                “I think I understand more now,” she admitted. “I hope I won’t upset him so much anymore.”

                “You’re doing a good job so far, A++ on that front, and you got an A for effort even before that.” Yami grinned. “Well, it was nice seeing you again. I guess I’d better get back to Akio.”

                “See you again, maybe?”

                “Maybe.” Yami paused; Sora was cool with something, so maybe she would be too. “Can I… can I call you ‘Mom’?”

                She blinked. “You’re part of Akio; of course!”

                “Okay then. See you later, Mom!” He disappeared.

0o0o0

                This… this was not Akio’s dream.

                Yami looked around the dark space. This was another dream, and this was an illusion of the Realm of Darkness; there was no question on that. This must be Riku’s nightmare.

                He searched around and found him. “Hey Riku,” he called the man who was currently projecting as a teen who was curled into a ball lying on the beach. Riku didn’t look up. “Hey Riku,” he repeated.

                Finally the illusion shattered and they were brought onto a beach, and Riku looked up. “What’s going on?” he asked after a moment before his eyes settled on Yami. “You’re Yami, right? The spirit of darkness.”

                “Well, I’m more of an entity than a spirit, but sure,” he shrugged. “Sorry you were having such a rough dream. I really wasn’t aiming for here, but I’m glad I was able to get you out of that nightmare.”

                “Thank you for that,” Riku said gratefully. “That was getting to be a pretty bad one.”

                “Yeah, no problem.”

                “But how are you here?”

                “Oh, I just discovered I can hop between dreams. It’s pretty cool. I wasn’t trying to enter your dream though, like I said.”

                Riku tilted his head. “Are you a Dream Eater?” he asked.

                “What the fu—eh em, what the heck, is a Dream Eater?” Yami asked.

                Riku laughed. “I’m not sure how to explain. Basically a guardian of dreams.”

                “Oh, I don’t know then,” Yami shrugged. “I mean, I stop Akio from having nightmares all of the time, but I never really thought much of it.” He sat on the ground next to Riku. “I mean, I just started out as darkness. I really did. But Akio accepted me, _befriended_ me, and I became something more. The least I can do is keep him safe.”

                “Thank you for that,” Riku said.

                Yami shrugged. “That being said, I need to try to get back to Akio now. Try not to go back to that nightmare, okay?”

0o0o0

                “Where were you?” Akio immediately asked as Yami reappeared.

                “Oh you know; off doing things, and stuff,” he answered vaguely. Akio gave him an annoyed scowl. “Okay fine; I was dream hopping, okay? But it’s all good. All I did was stop a bunch of nightmares; your poor family, they must have a lot of bad dreams.”

                “Dream hopping?”

                “Yeah, I was bored, and you were sleeping so well. I thought I’d leave you alone for once.” Yami shrugged. “I know I get annoying.”

                “You aren’t really annoying,” Akio disagreed. “But thanks.” He paused. “They were all having nightmares?”

                “Yeah; it was weird. But I got them through it. Sora, Kairi, Riku, Haru; they’re all fine, thanks to me!” Yami smirked.

                “You’re so full of it,” Akio said with a slight grin. “What are they going to think? I mean, how could anyone possibly react to something like that?”

                “I don’t know. They seemed pretty cool with it.” Yami shrugged. “Sorry though; I hadn’t thought about that.”

0o0o0

                Yami stared out over the imaginary sea lit by the artificial moon. His thoughts were wandering. It was so strange; not this place, but the way that this place had changed since Xehanort was gone.

                The illusion that had once been a dark empty ruin when Akio wasn’t around was no a quiet and calm beach in which night and day cycled quickly. There was no sense of time beyond the rising and setting of the sun. Yami was happy about the change, and to be honest that wasn’t the strangest part that had changed within Akio’s heart.

                The speed of the heart’s recovery had changed once Akio broke up with Haru. It was remarkable; one would have thought that he would have had a ‘broken heart’ or whatever cliché nonsense, and that would have caused more damage to heal, but no. He felt free. A burden was off of his shoulders, a weight off of his chest. He didn’t have to pretend anymore, and he could accept the fact that his love had changed.

                Now Yami could feel the heart healing and it was incredible to be a part of. It was stronger than it ever had been. Now Akio was beginning to grow to his full potential.

                And from where Yami stood overlooking an artificial sea underneath the glow of a simulated moon, things seemed right… for Akio anyway. Yami knew that Akio wanted to be separate; to be his own person. And while he had said it was different with Yami, he thought he knew the truth.

                Yami wasn’t ‘needed’ anymore. Yami wasn’t ‘wanted’ anymore. And the thing was, he was simply an extension of Akio’s emotions; a way that he worked through problems, and now Akio wanted to be alone.

                He was resigned to his fate. He would be gone soon. He was an entity of darkness who didn’t truly exist and never would. He was as much as an illusion as the beautiful beach on which he stood.

                He didn’t want to fade away.

                His eyes started stinging; what could it be? He put his hand to his cheek and found that there was water running down it. He looked in search of rain, but there was none to be found.

                “Am I… crying?” Yami wondered as he plopped down on the artificial sand. “Why?”

                He knew why. He didn’t want to disappear and he knew that he would. He had everything he had ever wanted and it was being taken away. His chance was gone. He had ruined it. But these thoughts, these feelings, these emotions; where had they come from? These desires and needs; what had enabled them to be?

                Yami was made of darkness. Things had to be this way, and he couldn’t let what he wanted get in the way. Akio was healing and he wanted to be alone. Yes, Yami had to go away now. He had no question of that, and he knew that was _why_ the salt water ran down his face, but he didn’t know _how._ He was Yami; an entity of darkness! To be more specific, he was made of anger and hatred.

                Yet lately, he had been experiencing so many other emotions and so little of what he was made of. Since Akio gave him a mind, since Akio had made him as he was now, he had felt sad, afraid, guilty, powerless, and… he had even felt happy. He felt happy and he liked to make Akio happy. Smiles and laughter; they were wonderful things for the both of them. But he didn’t understand.

                Either way, his happiness was fading away now, much like he was sure he would soon. He was mourning the loss of what never had been his in the first place. Yes, Yami was doing the right thing by letting Akio move on, right? He knew it was necessary. Darkness he may be, but he strove with everything he was not to be ‘evil’, because if he was he would be no better than Xehanort.

                And Yami would never sink as low as Xehanort.

                As the tears kept cascading, he could only hope that Akio wouldn’t fall asleep and see him like this. It was too much. He didn’t want to fade away!

                He knew that he had to let go, so he would. It would hurt, but it would be over soon. He still couldn’t stop the waterworks. “Damn it,” he muttered, covering his face and waiting for the imaginary sun to rise on this make-believe world in which he lived… the one that he didn’t want to leave.

                “What a day.” Yami flinched at the familiar voice, not wanting to move. “Hey Yami, I—“ Yami heard Akio walk over to him and sit beside him.

                “Leave me alone,” Yami requested. He tried to stop his voice from shaking, and he tried to suppress the sob that followed; the effort failed.

                “Yami?” Akio asked slowly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you crying?”

                “No,” Yami muttered, turning away. “I’m not.” He couldn’t modulate his voice.

                “Why are you crying?” Akio persisted.

                “I said I’m not,” Yami said.

                “Then look at me,” Akio requested.

                Yami shook his head and refused to uncover his face. He felt his body shaking. “I thought I told you to leave me alone.”

                “What happened?” Akio sounded so worried.

                “Stop it,” Yami ordered. “It’s nothing.”

                “Obviously it’s something,” Akio disagreed. “You can tell me.”

                Yami took a deep breath. “I don’t want to fade away,” he sobbed. He hated how pathetic he sounded.

                “What?” Akio sounded shocked. “Why would you fade away?”

                “You don’t need me anymore!” Yami looked over at him, not caring that his face was likely red. “You don’t need me anymore and you want to be alone! To be separate!”

                Akio shook his head. “Yami, I told you I didn’t mean—“

                “But you didn’t mean that it wasn’t about me!” Yami looked away. “You want to be alone… to live without chains… You can never be those things as long as I’m here.”

                “But Yami, it’s different,” Akio insisted. Yami glanced over and saw how serious Akio was. “Yami, you’re a part of me. I’ll _always_ need you.”

                “But you—“

                “I’d _never_ make you go away; hell, I’d never _let_ you go away!” Akio shook his head. “Yami, I need you and you could never exist anywhere but here. Having you here, hearing my thoughts; it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make!” Yami stared at him, his tears slowing. “You deserve to exist. I want you to exist. I like having you around!”

                “But…” He stopped when Akio put a hand on his shoulder. “You said that you want to be separate…”

                “Not from you,” Akio insisted. “Never from you.”

                Yami sighed, turning his head to look back over the shimmering sea. It didn’t matter if it was an illusion. It was real to him; he was only an illusion too. “Is… is that a promise?”

                “Yes. That’s a promise.”

                And staring up at the mirage of stars, Yami believed it. “Thank you.”

                “You’re welcome,” Akio said. He sat up straighter. “Don’t you ever get tired of this place?” he suddenly asked.

                Yami shook his head. “Never. I was on the outside once, remember? I hated it.” He smiled as he saw the silvery sheen of the false ocean. “Even if this is an illusion… I love it here.”

                “You don’t want to see more? Not even once?” Akio leaned forward to look at him.

                “No; it’s especially nice now.” He smirked. “A beach is far better than a ruin.”

                “Huh.” Akio looked out over the sea. “I don’t know if I could do that.”

                “You don’t have to.” Yami shrugged. “I guess it’s just all I’ve ever known, and why would I want more?” He smiled. “This world… even if it’s not real, it’s just like me. I’m not real either.”

                “You are too real!” Akio protested.

                Yami tilted his head. “How so?”

                “Well,” Akio began, “you have your own emotions for one thing. I mean, you were just crying because _you_ were sad.” Yami slowly nodded. “And besides that, I’ve seen so many other emotions from you. And you were able to help me; to save me. An illusion couldn’t do that.”

                Yami sighed. “I used to hate you; so much… not anymore.”

                “I know that you did,” Akio said. “That hatred was all you were.”

                “You’re right though; I don’t know how things changed.” Yami shook his head. “But I’m not complaining. It’s just… please don’t make me go away.”

                “I said that I never will,” Akio repeated.

                Yami slowly nodded, turning to look out at the rising orb of light known as the sun in the distance. The shimmering and golden light was almost enough to make him believe that this make-believe land was real. But it wasn’t; and he was okay with that.

                There were no words for a while. They sat in comfortable silence.

                “You know,” Akio broke the silence. “I came to talk to you. You’re always telling me how brave I am.”

                Yami looked over. “That’s because you are. I mean, look at me. I was your fear but you chose to keep me around and now you’re telling me you’ll never make me go away. You accept me.”

                Akio smiled slightly, but it quickly faded to a frown. “I’m starting to understand that.” He nodded. “Looking back, I’ve always been brave. I never thought I was, but I kept going even when I was terrified. I had so many fears; that’s why I thought I was a coward. But I always faced them.”

                Yami nodded.

                “I’m…” Akio looked down. “I’m tired of being brave,” he whispered.

                Yami whipped around to face him, eyes wide. “Akio?”

                “Being brave hurts; so much has happened lately. I just kind of…”

                “Just what?” Yami pressed.

                “I want to stay here; with you.” Akio nodded. “I want to stay asleep where things are quiet and calm. My fears can’t get me here and I don’t want to face them anymore.”

                Yami shook his head. As much as he wished it could be, he couldn’t let it. “Akio, you can’t.”

                “I’m not going to try to,” Akio assured. “I know that I have to be out there in the real world. I know I have to live. I just… I just wanted to put that out somewhere.”

                Yami paused. “And do you know _why_ you could never stay here? Why it wouldn’t work?”

                Akio tilted his head. “I know my reasons, but I wonder what yours are?”

                Yami picked up some sand and let it run through his fingers. “Time will pass, and one day, you’ll have to go back. You’ll never be ready again.” He glanced over. “If you stayed here, one day you’d go back and you’d be more afraid than ever.”

                Akio frowned. “Why are you always right?” he wondered. “I knew that I couldn’t stay here, but you’re also right. I couldn’t even stay for longer than one night. It wouldn’t work. I knew that I have to live a life because it’s a requirement. I knew that there are people who care about me and who would hurt if I were gone… But I hadn’t thought about your reasons.”

                “I’m a part of you; that’s how I’m right.” Yami looked away. “Akio, I know that you’re afraid right now, and that you’re bored and lonely. But you can never stop being brave.” He looked back over. “What were you talking about the other day? About choices versus destiny. Well, remember that there are so many choices that you still have to make; that you want to make.”

                “I know,” Akio agreed. “I know. I hadn’t forgotten. And I’ll wake up in the morning, I promise. I won’t stay here with you forever.”

                “Good,” Yami smiled. “We can’t have you giving up out there.” Yami laughed. “You have a record to keep; a point to prove. You have to prove that you can live without destiny. You have to prove everyone who has ever looked down on you wrong. You have to prove that you’re stronger than anyone ever thought.”

                Akio grinned. “You make it sound so dramatic.” He chuckled. “It could be worse. I’ve been in worse places than I am now. I’ll get through it too. And this time I have people to help me.”

                “People who you promised you’d let help you,” Yami added.

                Akio nodded. “So don’t worry; I’m not going to stay with you. Ha, that sounds funny to say. That you’d be worried to not be alone anymore.”

                “I’m supposed to be alone, and I don’t mind so much,” Yami assured. “As long as you come and see me sometimes, I don’t mind the quiet.”

                “You’re brave too, you know that?” Akio said.

                “Makes sense,” Yami observed. “I’m you, so I would have some of your better traits.”

                Akio lay back in the sand. “You know, Yami… Maybe for me, being away from here makes this place that much better.”

                Yami smiled. All thoughts of tears were gone now. “Thank you for telling me.”

                “Well, I couldn’t exactly tell anyone else,” Akio shrugged. “If I can’t tell myself, then who can I tell?”

                Yami chuckled. “And… thanks for letting me stay.”

0o0o0


	4. Tori

Tori

(Haru)

                Haru decided that it might be a good idea to introduce Akio to some of his friends; more social interaction would be good for him, after all, and even though they had broken up, Haru still cared about Akio and wanted to protect him and help him get through this rough time he was going through; and hey, maybe if he could do that then he could win back his heart.

                So he took the time to consider all of his friends and decide on a close one that he thought would go well with Akio’s personality and not judge him. Tori was an interesting one, but she was smart and fun and adventurous. She was very kind and understanding, and most of all she had been concerned rather than judging of Akio over the years. Yes, she was the perfect choice.

                So he asked Tori if she’d be willing to meet him, and she said yes, so they ended up setting something up. Akio tended to be reclusive, but it wasn’t that difficult to convince him either.

                “Akio, I’d like you to meet Tori. Tori, this is Akio,” Haru introduced the two to each other.

                “Hey,” Akio said.

                Tori grinned. “Hi! It’s nice to finally talk to you again!”

                “It… it is?”

                “Yeah! I know that we never were close back when you were talking to people, but I was worried about you when you stopped.” She frowned. “I’m so glad that you’re out of your aunt and uncle’s house now. Everyone knew what they were doing but couldn’t do anything about it.”

                Akio paused. “Oh, okay.” He shrugged. “I’m going to be perfectly honest and say that I don’t remember you,” he admitted.

                Tori laughed. “That’s okay. It’s not like I put out any real effort to talk to you. It’s just that my parents—and any other adult—said that you’d be safer if no one talked to you.”

                “I know,” Akio agreed. He looked uncomfortable. Haru was ready to jump in and defuse the situation. “Isn’t there anything else to talk about?” he inquired.

                “Oh, um, sorry,” Tori apologized. “So, um… what have you been up to lately?”

                Akio shrugged. “Not much. I have no reason to do things that I used to do, so I’m trying to figure things out.”

                “’Things that you used to do’?”

                “I used to study and research things about other worlds all of the time. But now that things have changed, I don’t really need to—“

                “Wait, did you used to be on Kingstagram?”

                “Yeah?” Akio wondered what she meant.

                “Are you heartofthe3blades?” she asked.

                That was indeed his username. “Um…” He paused. “Yeah.”

                Tori’s grin grew wider. “It’s me! Starsweeper444!”

                Akio grinned. “Wow, really?” He sounded excited and Haru was confused. “I had no idea!”

                Tori laughed. “We have so much to talk about! We haven’t talked in forever, since you disappeared for so long. Now the timing makes sense.”

                “I’m confused,” Haru said.

                “Oh,” Akio looked over. “I know Tori from the internet apparently. We were good friends online.”

                “Okay. Well that makes things easier,” Haru supposed. But he was a little bit confused; he had thought that he was Akio’s only friend.

                Tori looked at Haru. “We used to talk about nerdy stuff all of the time online; stuff about the stars and other worlds and light and darkness. It was really fun! I never had known that there was anyone else out there who was that passionate about things like that!”

                Akio shrugged again and had to pull his sleeve back into place. “Doesn’t really matter, does it? I mean, it’s great to finally meet you,” he said.

0o0o0

                Akio told Tori about their adventure. He knew that he shouldn’t, that anything involving the Keyblades and other worlds could be considered meddling to share, but this was his friend from all those years ago. This made sense. She needed to know.

(Tori)

                Tori looked up when she heard footsteps on the dock coming beside her. She saw someone she hadn’t been expecting. “Oh, hey Haru!” she said cheerfully to her long-time friend. “What’s up?”

                Haru sat down beside her glumly. “I just don’t get it,” he said.

                “Get what?” Tori asked. It had been a while since they had talked. She had been talking to Akio far more frequently; they honestly just had more to talk about. She was worried to see him so depressed.

                “Why does Akio not like me anymore?”

                Tori had not expected that question. “Uh, beats me! He told you a reason, didn’t he? Then that’s the reason.”

                “I don’t even mean the romantic stuff!” Haru said. “He’s been hanging out with you non-stop! What did I do?”

                Tori sighed. It wasn’t her place to give answers, even if she knew them. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I mean, he’s still your friend. Just because I’m taking up part of his time doesn’t mean that he doesn’t think of you as a friend still. People can have more than one friend, you know.”

                “I don’t get it though! He said that you knew each other online, and I know that’s why you hit it off so quickly. He never said a word about you before, but now that I introduced you you’re the only person he wants to spend time with?

                Tori clenched her teeth. “Akio chose not to mention that he knew me; I don’t know why he did, but it was his choice, just like it’s his choice to hang out with me now!” She tried to keep her voice calm and light-hearted. She didn’t know what was up with Haru. “Besides; I don’t think he’s spending as much time with me as you think.”

                “What do you mean?” Haru wondered. “He’s gone all of the time!”

                “He said he goes to the islet a lot; I think you already knew that. He still does, and he said that he tells his dad.” Tori nodded. “Akio’s a person who enjoys being alone.”

                “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said while crossing his arms. “He’s still doing that?”

                “Hey!” Tori snapped.

                “Has he told you why he goes there? Because he hasn’t told me.”

                “I’m sure he has and you just weren’t listening.” Tori rolled her eyes and stood up. “You probably read into things too much. You always have with anyone, let alone in your obsessive worries about Akio.”

                “What would you now about it?” Haru growled as he stood up straighter.

                “You know Haru; green is not your color.” Tori said with a stiff cross of her arms. “I don’t know what’s up with you; I thought we were friends! You’re the one who introduced us to each other, what’s the big idea? If you didn’t want him hanging out with people, then don’t introduce him to them!”

                “’Green is not my color’? What are you talking about?”

                “Jealousy!” she said. “And if you can stop with your attitude, your thoughts that anyone but you has done anything wrong in this situation, and realize the only you’ve done wrong and misperceived what’s going on around here, _then_ we can be friends again!”

                “You’re so _stupid!_ Why are you taking Akio away from me?”

                “He doesn’t belong to you!” Tori yelled. “He doesn’t belong to anyone! He’s a human being! Just because you think that you’re special and deserve to have and control him like you’ve always wanted doesn’t change that!”

                “I don’t want to control him,” he denied. “I can’t believe you’d accuse me of that! And I’m not obsessive; I’m not—“

                “Shut up! This argument is over, you absolute brute. I’m kindly going to turn around and walk away before this turns into a physical fight!” She turned around, but when she looked back, Haru looked horrified.

                “Tori, I’m sorry!” he called as he tried to catch up. “I didn’t mean—“

                “I’m not arguing with you anymore about you claiming you aren’t possessive of Akio!” Tori said. “Go cool off. That’s what I’m doing. Maybe one of these days you’ll grow up a little bit and we can have a logical, civil conversation again and be friends again, but for now, leave me alone.”

                Haru looked down. “Tori… I wasn’t trying to make you upset.”

                Tori sighed. “Stop it, Haru. I’m not going to side with you on _anything_ involving your current desires of Akio.” She started walking and waved. “Talk to you later, and maybe we can work things out.”


	5. Short: Ready

When Akio woke up, he knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. The sun shone outside but the air around him felt dark and gloomy; he was still tired but couldn’t sleep any longer. And worse of all he wanted to punch a wall or scream or some other form of temper tantrum, anything to get rid of the aggressive and anxious energy that was overflowing him.

                Sighing, he climbed out of bed, jumping as he saw a shadow of a cloud crossing the window in fear that it was something else, something far more sinister. Of course, it wasn’t, so he took several deep breaths to try to calm his racing heart. He trudged over to the closet and put on his newer hoodie. He pulled out his old, worn out, bloodstained and memory filled garment. As many memories as the newer one had logged, it still wasn’t as special. As calming as it was it still didn’t compare to the effects of the one that he had always had to keep him safe.

                He knew that this wasn’t going to be a good day.

                He had been trying to be nicer to his parents. He was trying to be more relaxed and trying not to jump to anger when he was afraid; and he was trying not to be afraid of them. It was hard; they were so… so _concerned_ and trying to be helpful that it was a bit unnerving. They were becoming less intimidating by the day, and he really was trying to let them help him through what he was going through, but it was hard, because part of him really didn’t want help and wanted to stay in the patterns that he had known forever.

                And today wasn’t going to be a good day. Maybe he should just stay in his room all day. It was the weekend so he didn’t have to worry about school… But they would worry about him, and that was the thing he most wanted to avoid. But if he went out there he was going to explode, which he hadn’t in a while and it would be even worse.

                He didn’t know what to do. He was glad that his parents were back; like, happier about it than almost anything he had been in his entire life. But it was weird and overwhelming suddenly going from no one caring to having his mother, father, Riku, and Haru caring about him was a shock to his system. It was a good thing, but he was still trying to figure out what to do about it.

                It wasn’t too late yet; not even nine in the morning. He had plenty of time that he could linger in there without detection. It was quiet and there were no worried faces and noticeable checking… but on the other hand, there wasn’t anything to keep him busy. All he had was paper to draw or write with and a couple of books that he’d read thousands of times; but he just wasn’t in the mood.

                He stared at the old, tattered hoodie that sat in his hands. This feeling was familiar. That didn’t happen much anymore, and certainly not with something as healthy as holding a garment of clothing in his hands. He had been sort of numb lately, but now his senses were heightened, his brain telling him lies that his family secretly hated him and were judging him, telling him that something was going to hurt him… he couldn’t let himself be afraid like this.

                He examined the hoodie; the large blood stained patches sown over with jagged white thread lines were still the same as the last time he’d looked. The cut in the lower left sleeve was still there; the faded writing on the inside remained; it really was the same. And as good as it was that things had changed, he needed something to be the same; and maybe it could be this piece of fabric rather than a painful reminder of the past.

                He loved his parents and he was so happy that they were here; his love of them had kept him alive for so long and wasn’t something that had faded. Now he was beginning to grow more comfortable with them, but part of him felt the need to prove it.

                He looked back down at the sweater. Could this be a way? Could he change this into a good day?

0o0o0

                When Akio reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard a conversation that he hadn’t expected at all.

                “We need to go out there and look for them,” Riku said. “We’ve heard from the others, but not from them.”

                “I know,” Sora agreed. “But I don’t know what to do. We can’t exactly leave.”

                “If I’m not going, then no one’s going,” Kairi insisted.

                “No one’s asking you to,” Sora assured.

                Akio’s heart beat increased, and before he realized what he was doing, he rounded the corner and was in the kitchen. “You’re leaving,” Akio noted calmly as he walked a few steps close to them before stopping. For a moment, they looked shocked. He stared back. He sighed. “Fine,” he said after a long moment as he turned to walk away.

                “Wait Akio; you only heard part of the conversation,” Sora tried.

                “What more is there to hear? You’re leaving in search of someone.” Akio paused. “Last time you guys left you were gone for ten years,” he said, somehow sounding eerily calm. He felt so cold that he felt calm… but he knew it was an illusion. “Ten years is a long time to think someone’s dead.” They were dead silent and their expressions changed to the guilt that he usually tried so hard to stop from crossing their faces. “I know I’m not what you expect and that I’ll _never_ be good enough; but please… don’t make me stay behind.” He turned again and headed out of the room.

                “Akio,” Kairi called after him, but he kept walking. He had something to show them. Something that he had meant to before. Something that was a way that maybe, just maybe, they’d let him go to. It was a simple item, one that they might or might not recognize.

                He returned to the kitchen as they were coming up with a game plan as to how to talk to him. He sighed. They looked up. He held up the old hoodie. “This thing? This thing that you tried to make me throw away? This is all I had to remember you guys by,” he explained. “You guys might not even remember it, but it’s all I managed to keep ahold of; so I kept it.” He still felt numb, and it really was helpful in this situation. He was afraid, and he felt cold. He was just so afraid. Ten years. His mind kept repeating that. They were gone for ten years; for ten years he worried that they were dead. Ten years alone. It was worse than anything else. Ten years knowing that he had been left behind. “Look; I understand if you have to go away, I just don’t like it.” He paused. “If you guys leave, I’m probably going to follow you, so you may as well take me along and save some time.” He sighed. “Just… please don’t leave me alone again,” he said more quietly.

                “Akio, we weren’t going anywhere without you,” Kairi promised.

                “We told you that we were going to be here; that we are going to help you,” Sora reminded. “We aren’t going to go back on that promise.”

                Akio looked up. “But you said that you had to look for someone.”

                “We were trying to figure out what to do,” Sora explained. “We weren’t sure how to work out how to manage it. That’s the conversation you walked in on, not that we’re leaving you.”

                “Oh,” Akio said awkwardly. “Okay then, sorry for the drama.”

                “That’s okay,” Kairi assured. Akio knew how hard they had been trying, and they were trying to help. Part of their expressions looked like they were thankful that he had opened up to them again.

                He walked over and sat down at the table, a bit embarrassed and honestly forgetting that he was holding a particular important item.

                “So the sweater,” Sora caught his attention. “It’s the one I thought it was.”

                “Huh?” Akio looked up. “You remember it? I figured you wouldn’t.”

                “I just can’t believe you kept the old thing all of this time,” Sora marveled.

                Akio nodded. He still felt numb and more cold than usual, but the numbness was what he’d felt lately, and feeling cold was just another part of his anxious reaction. “Yeah…” was all he said. He had already looked like a sentimental idiot once that day. “It’s all I had left. I know it probably never meant much to you, but it’s meant a lot to me through the years. It’s stupid though. It’s just a piece of fabric.”

                Sora still looked shocked that he cared that much. Yes, they had been talking more, so he understood that he cared, but this was something more. “I figured that you hated us for being gone, and you would have had every right to.”

                “Of course I never hated you,” Akio said. “Yeah, I was mad sometimes that you had left, but I knew you wanted to come back. I was honestly shocked when Haru and I found you. I had given up hope that I ever would.” He sighed. “I had kept hope for so long, but then I got your Keyblade and I thought that was concrete proof that everyone was right and you were dead.”

                Sora frowned. “I probably would have through the same.” He and Kairi looked a bit confused regardless.

                “I searched for you, you know?” Akio explained. “I never stopped looking for you guys. I kept researching and researching hoping to find something about Keyblades, something about other worlds other than legends. I never found anything.” He was nervously drawing shapes with his fingers against the table. “But I never stopped looking! And the night I ended up on that little islet, I had decided that sitting idly reading the same books over and over in hope that I missed something wasn’t enough. I decided that I was finally ready to go out and search for myself!” They looked surprised. “And even though I had given up hope, I finally did it. I found you!” He felt himself smiling and he knew from their faces that they were thrilled to see the expression; they had only seen it a handful of times. “I had finally managed to find you…” He smile faded. “And then you thought that I hated you.”

                “It’s okay, Akio,” Kairi assured. “We’ve just been having a hard time understanding things. We don’t know what you went through. We’re trying to learn who you really are.”

                “I don’t want you to know what I went through,” Akio explained. “The things that happened to me; why would I want you to know about something that you had no control over when it would hurt you so much?”

                There was a brief silence. It seemed like Sora and Kairi finally understood more of how Akio acted. “You can talk to us, you know?” Sora assured. “Don’t worry about hurting us.”

                Akio shook his head. “It’s no big deal. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He sighed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I just don’t know any other way to be.” He paused. “You know, I always wanted to find you, but some broken part of my brain thought that we could just pick up where we left off, you know? Like you were never gone? I guess I subconsciously thought that you guys would just be back and I would finally have a normal and real family and everything would be fine. Which everything _will_ be fine. I didn’t take into account that we’d have to build a new relationship as a family.”

                “We’ll keep trying to be better,” Kairi promised.

                “None of this is your fault,” Akio assured. “It’s nobody’s fault.” There was another brief and uncomfortable pause. Akio sighed. “On a different note, why were you guys talking about leaving?”

                “Hmm?” Sora seemed to just remember what the conversation had been about in the first place. “We need to go out and find our friends; we don’t know how many of them are still out there trapped even now that Origin’s gone.”

                “We’ve heard from some of them; Lea, Aqua, Terra, and Ventus. But we haven’t heard from King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy,” Kairi explained.

                “King Mickey? Donald? Goofy?” Akio remembered something of his own. “Queen Minnie and Duchess Daisy mentioned them,” he noted.

                They both blinked. “You met the Queen and Daisy?”

                “Yeah,” Akio explained, “back when me and Haru were first looking for you, we ended up at Disneytown. Queen Minnie was able to tell us what she knew about Xehanort and about Origin and the heartless.” He paused. “We did promise that we would look for them while we were searching; I guess it would make sense to go out and look for them now to keep that promise.”

                “That’s it!” Kairi exclaimed happily. “We’ll just take you along! We can keep you safe if we stick together!”

                Sora nodded in agreement. “We’ll have to talk to Riku and make sure that plan works,” he said. “And I imagine Haru want to come along.”

                Akio blinked a few times. “You’d… you’d really let me come along?”

                “It makes the most sense,” Sora agreed with Kairi. “That way we can keep our promise to stay with you and still try to find our friends.”

                Akio thought for a moment a grinned. “Adventure sounds nice,” he agreed.

                And with that, the plan was settled. An hour later, Riku had been talked to and Haru came downstairs and heard the plan too. He was a little more reluctant of another adventure, but he was convinced when it was brought up that he’d have to go back with his mom if he didn’t come along.

                Everything was going to be alright. Akio wasn’t getting left behind again.


	6. Solace Arc: Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. The following is virtually unedited, because I really just want it up. So, forgive me, and do not expect my other work to be of the same low quality of this two years old unedited thing.

Solace Arc

0o0o0

(Haru; earlier)

                Haru rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. It was still far too early to be starting the day, but alas, they were leaving shortly. He groaned. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay here at home and do normal things like go to school and make friends and learn and—He stopped mid thought as something occurred to him. Wasn’t that what his mother and stepfather wanted? Wasn’t that how they wanted to control his life? On his journeys, he hadn’t been _un_ happy, but this time, he wasn’t going to have Akio by his side—

                He stopped again. Why not? He realized something that Akio had said. “As long as you want, we’ll be friends.” And that’s when Haru realized that he really wanted to be. Sure it wasn’t what he wanted, but he would be with Akio again in a different way. Not that it was what he had truly believed in the first place… He shook his head. No. He didn’t have to go out on this journey alone… not that he would have been anyway, at least not literally. Their parents were coming along this time; or rather they were going along with their parents. This wasn’t their own journey and it wasn’t one that they would have to have such central control over. This would be different.

                He sat up in bed, his mind going in circles. Of course it was about Akio; even now, everything was about Akio, and hell, maybe it was actually worse now, he didn’t know. Akio wanted to go on this journey; that was why he was getting dragged along too. If Akio hadn’t suggested it in the first place they would never be going; probably none of them would. Akio was unhappy, and maybe this would make him happier, and if it did, then maybe—

                Maybe he’d have another chance! Yes, Akio’s unhappiness had been the problem. If he could play it cool, try to be friends, try to be a little less ‘creepy’ and ‘clingy’, then maybe he could win his way into Akio’s heart again, and maybe in the way he wanted to this time. Maybe this journey wouldn’t be such a bad thing, and maybe if they could get some time alone that bond that they used to have would reform. But how would they get time alone? They were all going together. Well, he was sure that Akio would eventually get tired of being with so many people. Maybe he would get bored and leave, and maybe if he would do that they would sneak off together. Maybe Haru could make this work.

                He just had to go down there and apologize, that was step one. He had been being pretty cold towards Akio… well, towards anyone to be honest. He hadn’t been the most pleasant person lately and he imagined that he would definitely have to make up for it. Akio wasn’t always the most forgiving person, but sometimes he was. It could go either way. He hoped that a simple apology would be enough, and maybe if nothing else it would make this journey together less awkward. They were all going to be crammed in a gummi ship together for a long time. Maybe that was what he should worry about rather than trying to win back something that had never been his in the first place.

                He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to think. All he knew was that he had to get out of this bed and down the stairs to start a brand new day. A new horizon was coming before them, a new chance for adventure… he just didn’t really want it.

(Akio)

                Akio, for one, was excited. This was going to be something new and exciting. It was going to be a brand new journey, and he had certainly missed journeys. Well, he wouldn’t even have counted his battle against Xehanort a ‘journey’ as Haru did; he didn’t exactly have any kind of adventure of his own and did nothing outside of his own heart; so he was looking forward to something like he had on their way to find their parents, and yes, things were going to be different because they were all going to be traveling together, but they were going out and they were going to find King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. It would be a nice change of pace; and it would be distracting.

                The only issue, as they were getting things ready to go and getting loaded into their gummi ship, was that Haru seemed to be being a real downer. They still hadn’t been getting along very well, by no fault of Akio’s. He had tried to resume their friendship as it was before the breakup, before they ever started going out; but Haru seemed to be holding onto resentment about it, so Akio had kind of stopped trying and was trying to just give some space now. He didn’t want to make it worse; he didn’t want Haru to hate him. He knew it was his fault; he had been the one who ended the relationship, and he was the one who had to deal with the consequences of his actions.

                The other awkward thing about this was that Sora and Kairi were watching him so closely and he knew they would be continuing to do so once they headed out. They were trying to help him, which he appreciated; but he knew that a journey would make a huge difference and he would surely improve in mood and mental state if he were doing something. Yami seemed cool with the journey and promised to do like usual and give him some space to be himself and make his own decisions based on what was happening around them. It was a good feeling to have everything put into place like that.

                It was early in the morning when they were heading out. Akio was out of bed bright and early with no problem, but Haru was more reluctant to pull himself out of bed and out into the daylight. Haru didn’t really want to come on this journey, but given no other feasible option he was coming along anyway. He certainly wasn’t having the same form of excitement that Akio was on this bright and early day. Akio tried not to let it get him down. He knew that it was because of him that they were going at all, but he wasn’t going to regret it. They had to find their parents’ friends out there. They had been waiting for long enough.

                “Are you ready?” Sora asked Akio casually as Akio carried his bag downstairs. There wasn’t much in the rucksack, just a few thing that were necessary for a journey if you actually planned it out rather than being forced to go on a whim.

                Akio grinned. “Yeah,” he said. “What about you?”

                “We’re almost ready,” he said. “Kairi’s still got a few things to do, and we’re still waiting on Haru, but other than that I think we’re all ready to go.” Sora looked so relieved to see Akio happy and excited about something. Akio had to acknowledge that it wasn’t something that Sora or Kairi had really seen, and, well, he had to admit that it was a rare thing in the first place.

                “Cool,” Akio said. He sat his bag on the floor by the door. It was unfortunately heavy; well, it probably wasn’t really that heavy, but Akio wasn’t the strongest person. It was a wonder he was any good at fighting, though that was more technique being used to his advantage than power. Sora looked worried, but Akio tried to shrug it off. He simply didn’t do things to keep himself healthy and strong, or at least, he hadn’t been for very long. It made sense for even a little bag to be a bit of a burden to carry, but he really hoped that no one would offer to carry it for him; that would be embarrassing. He knew that he had limits, but he didn’t want it to be widely known and he wasn’t about to admit it to anyone but himself.

                Haru finally came trudging down the stairs looking a bit grumpy. He wasn’t doing so well lately either, and though Riku, and Akio’s parents were trying to help him through things, he wasn’t dealing as well as Akio. Haru wasn’t used to depression like Akio was. It was a new experience that Akio wished he wasn’t having, but he knew it was his fault. Haru had been perfectly happy before the breakup, but he wasn’t accepting that things had changed very well. Akio waved but didn’t try to say a good morning. He could tell that Haru wasn’t in the mood and he didn’t want to be on the end of an argument that he wanted nothing to do with. At least no one seemed to be mad at Akio for being the cause of it all.

                Haru had changed, and Akio could only hope that these negative things were temporary. He didn’t want Haru to live with the kind of anger and resentment for everything that Akio knew so well. No one deserved to live a life like that, and certainly not his close friend who didn’t seem to want to be close anymore. That kind of hurt, but he was trying to ignore it as best he could. He wasn’t going to let Haru’s foul mood ruin this journey for him.

                Haru yawned and sighed as Sora rushed out of the room called by Kairi. He stared blankly at a point of space in front of him for a minute before turning to Akio. Akio felt his heart rate increase as he began to feel a bit panicked over being the object of Haru’s attention. He really wasn’t in the mood for another argument, so he was bracing himself and trying to come up with an ‘out’ if one were to start.

                But Haru smiled. “Good morning,” he said.

                “Uh… Morning,” Akio replied.

                Haru sighed and frowned. “Sorry I’ve been such a jerk lately,” he said. Akio blinked at him a few times. “I guess I was just… I don’t know; bitter might be a good word. I know that I shouldn’t have been; I know that you weren’t trying to hurt me, but…”

                “You have every right to be bitter,” Akio acknowledged.

                Haru looked back up looking puzzled. “I do?”

                “Well yeah,” Akio said crossing his arms. “You’re right that I wasn’t trying to hurt you. In fact, I was trying to stop it from getting worse.” He sighed. “But the fact is that I did hurt you and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I get that you were mad that I wasn’t upset. I get that you were mad that I didn’t seem to be affected much at all. I get it, and I’m not mad at you for being ‘bitter’.”

                Haru blinked. He was silent for a minute and then laughed. “Of course you’d get it; you are Akio, after all.” He looked away sadly, and Akio saw it there; that ‘love’ that Haru held so much of, and that’s when it hit Akio that being ‘bitter’ was because he couldn’t get something that strong to fade. He couldn’t fall right back into a friendship because for him it had been so much more. And that made it all make so much more sense.

                Haru had lost something that Akio had never had. Of course it was going to hurt.

                Akio shrugged and had to adjust his sleeve on his shoulder; he wasn’t having to do that quite as often anymore. The time that had passed and trying to take care of himself had put some meat on his bones, comparatively speaking, though he certainly wasn’t a healthy weight. “I’m sorry that I hurt you,” Akio said.

                Haru sighed. “It’s no big deal… or at least not as big of one as I’ve been making it.” Akio shrugged. Haru grinned. “So can we be friends again?”

                “I said we could be in the first place,” Akio stated. “So sure.”

                Haru grinned. “Well then, let’s get this show on the road! It’s time for a new journey, right?”

                “Uh, I think we should wait for them and like _not_ run off on our own?” Akio teased. “Like you’ve been suggesting since forever.”

                Haru laughed and then coughed to stop himself. “Of course,” he muttered. That made Akio wonder if that hadn’t been what he meant. But he shrugged it off. No use fixating on little details like that. Things were going to go well, he just knew it. Maybe he had finally become an optimist after all.


	7. Solace Arc: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

(Akio)

                After a few long hours of traveling, they arrived in the place that Sora, Kairi, and Riku suspected their friends had been kept prisoner. It was a bright, windy world, empty and void of anything in sight. Perhaps there had once been something, or there was something far away, but not now.

                “What’s around here?” Haru asked.

                “Well…it looks like we landed off course,” Sora said. “I would have thought we’d be near the castle, but I guess we’ll have to hoof it.”

                After a long time walking, they had to set up camp. This was such a strange place to be at all, let alone to set up a camp to plan to settle in and sleep. It was still bright out. The world was so bizarre and shimmering and rippling. It looked like they were walking on nothing most of the time, but at least now they were settled on a rock island-type thing to give some sense of grounding. Everyone was cheerfully chatting around the fire up until just now when Akio felt the need to escape for a few moments from the chaos of his family. Well, maybe chaos wasn’t the right word, but it wasn’t the peace and quiet he was familiar with. The smiles and laughter were nice; hell, even what would have once been annoying was nice. They were reminding him that he had to eat. They were reminding him that he needed to try to settle down so he could get some sleep even though it might not look like it. They were reminding him that he needed to take care of himself. And that would have been infuriating to him not so long ago. But now he was accepting the help that people were offering. Now he wasn’t shoving it away.

                But a few minutes alone weren’t going to hurt anything, and he had said that he was going right out of sight if they needed him. It was all good. He wasn’t doing anything dangerous, and while that might not sound like much of an adventure, it was nice and Akio was happy with it. Being out with his family was combining two of the things he had longed for all of his life: to be with his family and to explore. It was really nice and he wasn’t going to take it for granted.

                It wasn’t long later that everyone but he was asleep, and those feelings had kind of faded to the side. He felt the need to go somewhere—surely it wouldn’t hurt if he didn’t go too far. He’d stay in sight of the camp, right? He just needed to take a short walk, and there was no reason to bother anyone about it when he wasn’t going far. He was just so restless in this world where everything was so bright; how could anyone get any sleep in this kind of place? A walk would help.

                He stood up and walked out of the campsite, careful to watch his distance. He’d just take a quick circuit around the camp site and he’d go back. No one would even notice that he was gone.

                But something appeared before him; a bright and clear white light. Out of it stepped a man. He wore a white cloak. His hair was blonde and hung down to his shoulders. He was tall, and he was kind of… Well, Akio was kind of afraid of him in a way that he had never feared anyone before. He took a few steps back and turned to run in hopes that he wasn’t noticed; surely he could do that. Surely he hadn’t wound up in too much danger by simply taking a walk; but then he noticed Haru was running up behind him. He didn’t want to yell or say anything to draw attention.

                But Haru didn’t seem to notice the stranger. “Akio! What were you thinking?”

                “Haru, shut up and run!” he said when he got within hearing range.

                “Run?” Haru looked up. “Who’s that?”

                Akio slowed to a stop next to Haru. “What part of ‘run’ do you not understand? Run. Away.” Akio tried shoving him along.

                But he felt someone right behind him and saw a shadow. “Foolish children,” the man said. “Haven’t you ever heard not to wander off?”

                Akio glanced back and saw that the man held a massive spear made of simple wood. The head wasn’t even metal; just polished wood. But he was terrified.

                Haru was frozen in fear. Akio tried to shove him along. “Come on Haru! Move it!”

                The man lifted the spear. Akio didn’t think. He summoned his Keyblade and jumped in front of his paralyzed friend and—pain. Searing pain straight through his heart… “A hero complex rarely serves a person well,” the man taunted as Akio saw himself surrounded in darkness. “Lucky me.”

                “No! Akio!” Haru screamed and ran towards him. Everything felt like it was in slow motion.

                _“Akio!”_ Yami cried. _“What’s happening?”_

                And everything went black and all fell silent.

(Yami)

                “What the hell is going on?” Yami cried. He landed flat on his back but scrambled to get up. “What the—“ He froze when he saw him. “Akio?” He jumped up and caught Akio as he would have landed on the ground… He _caught_ him. He was _solid._

                “Hmph, that was far too simple. I have to thank you, Haru, for making that so much easier than it could have been,” the stranger stated.

                “What did you do to him?” Haru demanded as he rushed over.

                “Oh, nothing much,” the man laughed. “I simply shoved out his passenger.” He gestured at Yami. “And without him there, there’s nothing holding his heart together.”

                Haru’s head snapped over. “Passenger?”

                Yami gritted his teeth and tried to pick up Akio to run. “Haru, what part of ‘run’, did you not understand?” he growled. “Now would be a good time to work that out.”

                “No, in fact, it would not,” the man said with a shake of his head. “I have better uses for the three of you.”

                As everything got extremely bright, Yami heard the adults yelling and saw them running towards them; but they weren’t quick enough.

                They were in a bright area surrounded by rocks; it was obvious that they were still on the same world, but they were not somewhere they had been. Yami held Akio close and backed away from the man. He gritted his teeth. “Stay the hell away,” Yami growled as the man came closer.

                Haru stepped in between them. “Who do you think you are?”

                “I am Solace,” he said. “I know who you are; you are Haru, the boy who used words of another to work through fear. Behind you stands Yami, an incomplete entity made from the darkness in Akio’s heart; and Akio… Well, Akio’s something else entirely.”

                Solace darted forward and grabbed Akio’s arm, yanking him out of Yami’s grasp. “No!” Yami gasped and tried to grab ahold of him again, but Solace took him too far away. “Haru, do something useful for once in your life and help me!” Yami begged.

                But Solace shook his head as wings appeared on his back. “I’ll be taking this one for safe keeping,” he said. “As for you two… well, you’ll just have to figure that one out for yourselves.” He burst into the air in a flash of light, taking Akio with him.

                “No!” Yami screamed and ran to where he had been.

                “Akio!” Haru cried as he rushed over. “What the hell just happened?” Haru asked.

                Yami took a deep breath and counted to ten in hopes of not snapping at Haru. “What kind of idiot are you?” Oops, that didn’t work. “What part of ‘run’ did you not understand? Why did you follow him? Why did you freeze up like that? What the fuck were you thinking?”

                Haru stared at him. “Wait, Yami; you’re solid.”

                “I realize that, you dimwit,” he snapped. “I don’t know why, before you ask. I don’t know what the fuck happened, but it’s all your fault!”

                “My fault?” Haru gasped. “What do you mean ‘my fault’?”

                “Why did you follow Akio?” he demanded. “He was just taking a walk. You and the others were asleep. He didn’t want to bother you.”

                “I followed because I didn’t know where he was going!” Haru insisted. “And for good reason too!”

                “No it wasn’t a good reason at all, you absolute idiot! Obviously not if you don’t know how to listen! He told you to run away! Why didn’t you run away? You could have gotten away, but now look where we are!” Yami took another deep breath. He was panicking. No. He couldn’t panic. He had to play it cool. He had to keep his wits about him, and arguing with someone who wouldn’t listen anyway wasn’t doing any good.

                “Okay, okay, I get it! I’m sorry!” Haru said. He sighed. “Sorry.”

                Yami gritted his teeth. “It’s okay,” he lied. It wasn’t okay in any way shape or form, but he was going to claim that it was because that was the polite thing to do in this situation. He started pacing. What was he supposed to do now? What was he supposed to do when he wasn’t where he belonged and Akio was nowhere in sight? He had no way of knowing where Solace had gone with him. He had no idea where to start. And now he was stuck here with the biggest idiot in the world.

                Haru sighed. “It’s not my fault you know,” he claimed. “I didn’t do anything.”

                “Let’s not get into it,” Yami suggested. “I’m not going to agree with you; it doesn’t matter anyway. We need to figure out where Solace took Akio and get him back! We need to find out where we are, and—“

                “Why should I trust you?” Haru asked. “Not only are you darkness, you told me that you hate me! How can I know you aren’t out to get me?”

                “Now listen here you dipshit,” Yami said. “Maybe I said some things that weren’t exactly good for our relationship, but you _have_ to trust me. There’s no other choice!”

                “But—“

                “Okay, here’s the deal,” Yami interrupted. “I get it. I don’t like you. You don’t like me. I get it. But here’s the thing; we’re going to work together. I help you, you help me, we both help Akio. That’s how it’s going to be. Capische?” Haru slowly nodded. “Good.” Yami looked around. “There has to be some way out of here…”

                Haru searched the scene too. “I don’t know. It looks like we’re surrounded by rocks,” Haru said.

                “There has to be a gap of some sort,” Yami insisted. “Let’s walk to perimeter,” he suggested.

                Haru nodded and started walking with him. “I really wish I knew what was going on. This Solace guy; I can tell he’s bad news. But did you see those wings? He almost seems like an angel! But how could that be?” Haru wondered.

                Yami shook his head. “I have no idea, but I’m worried,” he said. “I’m worried that something is going to happen to Akio. I mean, how am I solid?” he pondered. He didn’t know what to think, and he knew that he probably shouldn’t be worrying Haru, but it was his instinct to worry about Akio. It was his job; his duty. “That Solace… Akio was terrified of him, and Akio isn’t usually truly afraid of anything. Sure he has fears, but most of the time he’ll face them head on. This time… not so much.”

                “Akio was afraid?” Haru worried. “That’s why he was running, and running was a good idea; but I was stupid. You’re right. I should have run when he said to.”

                Yami sighed. “Listen, dumbass—I mean, listen, Haru. Sorry for the insults by the way.” Haru shrugged. “Anyway; at the moment, there is no point lingering on the details. We just need to get a move on. We need to head out, find our way out of here and back to our families. That’s our first step.” Once Yami got Haru to safety, he would head out on his own and find Akio himself, no dilly dallying or waiting on slow pokes.

                Haru sighed and looked around again. “I don’t see any way out—“ He paused and stared at a spot. “Do you think we’ll fit through there?’ he pointed at a large crack in the wall.

                Yami studied it. “Well, only one way to find out.” He hurried over to the crack and tried to measure it based on Haru’s body size (Yami knew without question that if Haru could get through he could. His body _was_ similar in size to Akio’s, after all, and that meant super skinny). He determined that it was worth a shot. “Give it a try,” he offered.

                “You go first,” Haru suggested.

                Yami rolled his eyes. “Fine. But if I get out there and you’re still stuck, I’m not coming back in just to hang out with you.” He walked over to the crack and turned to shimmy through.

                “Wait, you were waiting to make sure I could get out?” Haru questioned.

                “Yes you doofus,” Yami said as he made it through with no difficulty. “Now give it a try.”

                Haru frowned but squeezed through with some more trouble, getting stuck briefly and having to maneuver a bit to slide through. “Can you please stop calling me names?” Haru requested.

                Yami crossed his arms. “I’ll try,” he stated. That was the best he could do. “Now come on—we need to figure out what direction to go, and that’s easier said than done!”

                “I think I see camp that way,” Haru said. “Hard to believe that Solace would only take us that far away.”

                “Don’t question it and come on!” Yami snapped as he started running.


	8. Solace Arc: Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(Kairi/Sora)

                Kairi was panicking; they all were. “Where did they go? What happened?”

                Sora shook his head. “I don’t know. There was just this flash of light and—“

                “Why were they outside of camp?” Riku worried.

                “They weren’t very far away,” Sora defended. “They were still in sight.”

                “It doesn’t matter!” Kairi said. “We have to find them!”

                She heard a faint noise from above and a man with a pair of wings slowly lowered himself into sight. She stared for a moment.

                “Who are you?” Sora demanded.

                “My name is Solace,” the man said. He stared at them blankly like they were boring.

                “Solace?” Sora questioned.

                “Are you not proud of your children?” Solace asked. “You did not raise them, yet their hearts are strong and pure. They are quite commendable, to be sure. They fought the fear that was in their names. Haru, the boy full of hope when all seemed lost, who took the knowledge of a friend and used it to fight the fear away. And most worthy of all: Akio, the boy who knew only fear yet accepted it and chose not to be afraid.” Solace stared down at them form where he hovered, wings beating slowly. “A pity, really, that you hold so little claim in their hearts, do you not think?”

                “What are you talking about?” Sora asked. Their children were missing and he didn’t know what to do. This man… he had to have taken them!

                The man scoffed. “Sora, the boy whose destiny went unnoticed. You are much like your child, to be sure.”

                “Where are they?” Kairi demanded. “What have you done to them?”

                “Your dear Haru will surely wander his way here soon, princess; but Akio… they always say the most powerful should be the first to fall, hmm?” The man didn’t smirk. His expression remained eerily stagnant.

                “What did you do to him?” Kairi panicked. “What did you do to my baby?” She had just gotten him back! They were just getting him to trust them! They were finally a family!

                “He is the only one whom can wield the Soul Spear,” Solace noted. “His heart is powerful and full of pure light. The boy you named Akio left destiny and fate behind long ago; that is why he is so powerful and dangerous,” he said. “The boy runs solely on ‘choice’.”

                “Choice?” Riku questioned. “Everyone runs on choice!”

                “To be sure,” Solace said with a roll of his eyes. “But destiny plays a role in those choices. Yet for Akio, choice is his sole function. He defied destiny on that night that he left the Destiny Islands. When the shadows came they were meant to overcome him. But the boy… he refused to give up. He was not meant to receive a Keyblade on that night. He was not ready for one. But remarkably, Sora, he pulled your Keyblade away from you and took it as his own. That was the moment when destiny fled his existence.” He looked off into the distance. “His fate was to go to that islet to parish, but he chose to fight the heartless instead and to learn to love the battle. He chose to face his feels and enter the doors to his heart without hesitation, and he chose to remember you, Sora and Kairi. He consciously sook you within his heart, and with the strength of your memory he fought an enemy too powerful for him to otherwise overcome. He chose to be like you.”

                “So what’s your point?” Sora asked cautiously. “You keep saying he’s so strong… what’s that got to do with anything?”

                “He is dangerous. His actions cannot be foreseen, nor can those of all his heart touches. He makes decisions on his own at any given moment and messes with the timeline.” Solace shook his head. “Unlike you, Sora, he did all of these things with his own mind. For you it was an unforeseen destiny. For Akio, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Akio made the miraculous choices that saved everything from falling to Origin’s control from a lens that you could never comprehend. He knew a life of only pain and fear, yet he made _choices_ that led to you being saved nevertheless. He chose to believe he could survive his strange situation. His determination was all that kept his starved body alive.” Solace looked like he was marveling these facts. “He chooses who to trust rather than trusting everyone like you do by default. He gives much thought before he begins to do so.”

                “You sound like you admire him,” Riku noted. “Why are you doing this?”

                “His power is beyond what I have ever seen,” Solace admitted. “I wish that power were my own. The boy chose to make the very darkness in his heart into something he could understand. The entity that you have met known as Yami; one never meant to be. His ability to make choices; I covet that. He chose what to tell people. He has many secrets that he chooses to keep.”

                “Solace?” Sora tried to grab his attention.

                But it failed. “The power of choice. He chose to face Origin alone… Akio; he chose not to be afraid. He faced his fears, and he holds so many and so much pain within; yet he’s simply not afraid. He admits to himself that he has these fears, but he refuses to let them stop him. Choice is his power, and I have only now gained that power myself. To keep it, I must take his away.” He shook his head. “I can no longer wield the Soul Spear. I have fallen. There is darkness in my heart; yet for me to truly be free, it needs a new wielder.” He looked up into the sky. “These children… it’s always the children that have the answers, isn’t it? ‘The past is the past,’” he quoted. “The more people fear something, the stronger it becomes. Very wise words,” Solace said. “I assure you they will be his downfall.” He landed in front of them.

                “What’s that got to do with anything?” Sora asked. “The Soul Spear; what is it? And why Akio?”

                Solace finally showed an expression; a smirk. “Ah, dear Sora, even if you should save your dear Akio, he will never come back. That choice that he holds; I have taken it away, and his heart has been shattered far too many times to survive without that. Xehanort nearly destroyed his heart in a way from which he would never recover. And you see, the Soul Spear devours hearts and the heart of the user is not immune.”

                “Devours hearts?” Kairi asked in horror.

                “Yes, it is indeed what it sounds like.” Solace nodded. “When a heartless takes a heart it is released into the worlds. The Soul Spear is used to destroy the souls of the most vile. When the Soul Spear takes a heart, it is gone forever. A pity, I suppose, that it takes a heart as full of light as Akio’s to control such power. He will lose every spark that remains of him; besides, there was little left anyway.”

(Yami)

                “You’re wrong!” Yami yelled as he caught up, hating this new physical form. It was so strange and he felt so naked. But he had to press on, and Haru was only steps behind him.

                “Ah, so I see that Yami is as smart as Akio himself,” Solace noted. “Makes sense, I suppose.”

                Yami gritted his teeth. “Shut up!” he snapped. “There’s plenty left of Akio’s heart; he’ll be okay no matter what happens!” He summoned his Keyblade, briefly noting a burst of light instead of darkness. “Yes, Xehanort came close to destroying his heart… there’s no point in lying about that. I saw it; it was crumbling away into dust before I brought him back!” Yami heard a few horrified ‘what’s. He shook his head. “But he defeated Xehanort and became stronger than ever! In winning that battle, he learned so much! He learned what it meant to exist, and he couldn’t’ fight for anyone if he didn’t fight for himself!” Yami clenched his teeth. “That spark of which you speak… that’s all Akio ever was, a spark of light through the darkness! They all remember it too; he cares for everyone else more than himself. He made them laugh the moment he ‘made the choice’ to wake up! He told them ‘you aren’t supposed to be sad. I’m okay.’… The spark is Akio! And no matter what you do, he will never _ever_ give in!”

                Solace only smirked. “Ah Yami, such a pity that you believe in him still. Such a waste of energy and potential. You are his darkness, after all. Without you there, there is only light for the spear to feed on; that is why I forced you out.” He shook his head. “I believe an imbecile once told the masters, ‘Darkness is the heart’s true essence.’ Ansem Seeker of Darkness was wrong; the hearts of some are truly made of light, though few. It’s a pity that you have to learn this the hard way… Or, I suppose not.”

                “Shut the hell up!” Yami yelled as he ran towards Solace. Solace stepped out of the way. “Give Akio back to me!”

                Solace snorted. “No illusions in your motives, are there, entity? You say ‘me’ not ‘us.’ You do not care about the others; only yourself and your Akio.” Yami hesitantly looked back. The others were ready to join in the fight. “But I suppose that is an issue you will have to take up with each other. For now, I must ensure that the spear is ready.”

                The man flashed up into the sky and disappeared.

                Yami slowly turned to face the others, sending his Keyblade and sighing. He tried not to act nervous when he saw their faces. He hoped that the anger was not directed towards him. The world of the awake was so strange on its own without additional discomfort. “So…” he mumbled and rubbed the back of his head. “What’s the plan?”

                Haru glared at him. “Is it true what he said? Do you only care about Akio for your sake?”

                Yami shook his head furiously. “Hell no! I only care about Akio for Akio’s sake! Sure, I don’t want to fade away, but—“

                “You’re lying!”

                “Haru, cut it with the angst,” Yami snarled. Haru looked shocked. “I get enough of that back home. Besides, what does it matter? We all want to help Akio. Isn’t that enough?” Yami sighed. “Besides, I rescued you and I don’t even like you! Obviously I care what happens to you all.”

                “Yami, I’m sorry—“

                “Drop it, Haru,” Yami snapped. He paused. His voice… it was one. Separate from Akio’s, but singular rather than echoey and controlled by darkness.

                “Personally, I’m confused by you as well,” Riku interrupted. “You’re a being of darkness—“

                “More of an entity, but you know.” Yami didn’t skip a beat.

                “…But you don’t want to exist in your own form,” Riku finished.

                “My own form?” Yami shook his head and looked horrified. “This isn’t my own form! I don’t have a form, and I don’t want to! This is just a shell!” Sora and Kairi looked equally confused. “I’m not a being! I’m an entity. I’m a piece of a whole, not meant to be in the world of the awake!”

                “A piece of a whole?” Sora questioned.

                “I thought you guys understood that,” Yami said. “I thought that after you met me the first time, you’d know… but I guess I was wrong.”

                “Yami, we’re sorry,” Kairi said with a confused sigh.

                Yami was silent for a moment before he perked up. “Story time!” he said suddenly. “I know how to explain it!”

                “Story time?” Haru questioned.

                “Shut up, Haru,” Yami snapped.

                “If you don’t see it, he doesn’t like me,” Haru explained to the confused adults.

                “Damn right I don’t like you!” Yami snapped.

                “Why don’t you like him?” Sora asked.

                “I don’t really know,” Yami admitted. He shrugged and closed his eyes. It was so hard not to let the fear show. He sighed. “It’s so… loud out here, and bright and everything’s so weird. I… I don’t like it.” He shook his head and opened his eyes. “I promise that I’ll bring him back; for all of us!” ~~~~

“Well you don’t have to do it alone!” Kairi said. Riku nodded.

                Haru slowly nodded as well. “Right.”

                Yami sighed. “Thanks,” he said.

                “I’m helping too!” Yami’s eyes widened when he saw someone he didn’t expect coming out from behind a rock.

                “Tori?” Yami snapped. “What the hell are you doing here?”

                Everyone turned around in shock. There stood Tori, wooden staff in her hands. “You guys left on another adventure! I wanted to see other worlds!” she said. “I didn’t expect this, but I’m going to help get Akio back! He’s my friend too, you know!”

                “You don’t know how to fight!” Haru remarked. “Go home!”

                “No!” she said. “Akio’s in trouble. I’m not leaving!”

                Yami crossed the room over to Tori. “Hi Tori. I’m Yami.”

                “Hi Yami…” Tori studied him. “You look like Akio… And that speech—“

                Yami laughed it off. “You need to go home, capische?” But he was plotting. “If anything happened to you… I mean, you don’t even have a weapon!” He had to act like he meant it.

                Tori shook her head. “I do too have a weapon!” she said, holding up her staff. “I could knock someone out with this.”

                The others rushed over too. Yami sighed. This wasn’t going according to plan.

                “You need to go home,” Sora reiterated. “You’re just going to get hurt.”

                Kairi paused for a moment before nodding in agreement. “I hate to admit it, but in this case, he’s right,” she said. She looked sympathetic. “This is all very dangerous, and—“

                “I know it’s dangerous!” Tori insisted. “But I know that Akio’s in trouble! I have to help!” She looked at Yami for help.

                He sighed. “I’ll take her home.

                “Hey, wait a minute—“

                Yami tugged her along. Once they were out of earshot and behind a rock, he turned to her. “Okay, Tori; here’s the plan.”

                “Huh?”

                “Here’s your mission if you so choose to take it. You’re going to hide, and you’re going to keep hidden. Capische? And you’re going to keep silent unless you get into trouble. You are not going to draw _any_ attention to yourself, and you are not to jump into battle.” Yami crossed his arms. “What you are going to do is observe, and if you notice something tell me when I check on you. It’s that or go home.”

                “You’re putting me on a recon mission?” Tori asked slowly.

                Yami shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m not going to force you to go home. If you get scared, run far and fast. But if you want to help Akio, this is how you’re going to do it.”

                “Thanks, Yami!” Tori said with a smile. “You can count of me!”

                “Great!” Yami cheered. “Solace didn’t notice you back there. Hopefully it will stay that way.” He paused. “I’m going to stay here for a few before I go back so they thing I took you home.”

                Tori paused. “You said something about being part of Akio’s heart,” she noted. “What does that mean?”

                Yami looked over at her. He shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it.” He paused. “I guess… I guess I could sum it up as all hearts have light and darkness. I’m the darkness that Akio sorted out. I became a person, and then… well, did you hear all of the speech?”

                “You said that you had changed; that you’re not darkness anymore.” Tori nodded. “I don’t get it, but thanks for explaining. It’s pretty cool, really.” She grinned. “And thank you again. Thank you for believing in me.”

                Yami smiled. “You’re welcome. There was a time that Akio always got left behind. I get it. I’ve seen what it’s like to get held back.” He paused. “You’re a good friend to Akio, Tori; that’s why I trust you more than they do. They haven’t seen it.”

                “Oh.” She sighed. “I guess… I guess I just expected them to understand. I was under the impression they had been on a lot of adventures—“

                “And when they were very young, too. I don’t get it.” Yami shrugged. “I don’t understand their hesitation.” He sighed. “Well, I’d better go. Be careful, capische?”

                “Right!” She waved as he headed off.

                “Stick to the plan!” he finished.


	9. Solace Arc: Chapter 4

Chapter 4

(Yami)

                “I don’t quite understand,” Haru began. “Why did Akio wander off, anyway?” he quizzed of Yami.

                Yami gritted his teeth. The adults looked curious too. “He was just going on a quick walk. He was staying in sight of the camp site,” Yami said. “He wasn’t going very far out. Just a quick circuit around because he couldn’t sleep,” he said. “It wasn’t a big deal until you came along. And why would that have been?”

                Haru was silent for a moment. “I—he was gone. I saw him leave, so I followed. I didn’t want him to get hurt.”

                “And yet you’re the reason.” He sighed.

                “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Haru defended.

                Yami rolled his eyes. “If you hadn’t come along and been your idiot self, Akio could have gotten away.”

                Haru blinked. “What?”

                “He’s fast; he could have run away if he hadn’t had to stop and save your idiot self,” Yami continued. “But no; you had to follow him and get in the way.” Yami shook his head. “He was scared, and he’s never scared. He was ready to run like hell the moment he spotted Solace. But you had to be there to open your mouth and draw attention. And then you didn’t run either! You froze up! If he hadn’t had to jump in front of you and save your idiot self, he wouldn’t have gotten stabbed by that stupid spear, he would be safe, and I wouldn’t be here!”

                “Hey now, it’s no one’s fault—“ Riku tried to stop the argument.

                Haru opened and closed his mouth a few times before looking down. “You’re right…” he admitted.

                Now, Yami was not Akio. Akio would have apologized for those kinds of words. But Yami; Yami meant every one of them and didn’t particularly care that he had hurt Haru’s feelings and made him feel guilty. Maybe if he felt guilty he would actually learn something! The adults were looking at him expectantly. “I’m not apologizing,” he stated. “I’m right.”

                Kairi crossed her arms in frustration. “Yami, what are you thinking?” she asked. “You know that you two need to get along. We have to work together to do this.”

                Yami gritted his teeth. “You know, Mom? I don’t really care—“ He froze. He… he _did_ care. “… Sorry,” he apologized to her. “I shouldn’t have said that to you. But why the hell do I care?” he wondered. “It’s not like you guys are going to hurt me if I’m rude…”

                Sora looked worried. “Yami?”

                “Forgive me, I’m having a little bit of an existential crisis here still,” he said with a shake of his head. He laughed. “What am I saying? Forget it.” But he saw the looks on _his_ parent’s faces—wait, they weren’t his parents. They were Akio’s. They were just being nice enough to let him use those words. But they were so worried… Why would they be worried? “Stop looking at me like that!” he ordered. “What do you care about me? I’m not Akio! I’m not even human! My ‘feelings’, my anger and resentment; they don’t matter!”

                “Yami—“ Sora tried.

                “Oh. Right. You care because you think you can use me to understand Akio.” He shook his head. “I get it. But I hate to tell you, I’m not a good look at how he thinks. He would have apologized, though I guarantee he wouldn’t have felt it. _He’s_ trying not to be a little asshole. Me, not so much.” He laughed again. He was upset, so he laughed. But everything was so weird and they were _still_ giving him the same concerned looks they gave Akio, and it hurt, everything hurt so bad— “I’m sorry, okay?” he finally said as he started crying. He gritted his teeth. “Now why the hell am I _crying?”_ he demanded of the universe. “Don’t be mad at me!”

                Kairi looked surprised. “We’re not mad at you, Yami,” she insisted. She had a look like he was a _very_ good look into how Akio thought. “We just don’t understand, and we’re worried.”

                “Why the fu—I mean heck, are you so worried about me?” Yami demanded. “I’m not your child! I’m not your son, I’m not the one you’ve been trying to help! I’m not his soul, damn it! I’m just some jerk that lives in his heart because he’s nice enough to let me stay around!”

                That was when he noticed Haru almost looked worried. “You _are_ like Akio,” Haru decided. “Without a filter to control the anger and sadness and joy.”

                “Shut up, Haru! I’m not like Akio! Akio’s a good person; he’s kind and full of light! Yes he gets annoyed easily, and yes if he was being healthy about it he wouldn’t hide it so much! But I’m the opposite of Akio, capische? It’s more like I think things that he doesn’t! Like you, you idiot! I dislike you because he doesn’t!”

                “You mean he really doesn’t hate me?” Haru asked in wonder. “I thought since you did that—“

                “He doesn’t hate you, for the billionth time, Haru!” Yami yelled. “He was just mad for a while, just worried, just freaked out because you were being so creepy! He doesn’t hate you, he’s just not in love with you!” He shook his head. “Why am I out here? I don’t belong out here! I’m just fu—I mean, messing things up! I always do! It’s nothing new!”

                “Calm down—“ Sora tried.

                Yami took a deep breath and tried to comply. “Why _can’t_ I be like Akio? He’s smart, he’s a planner; he knows what he’s doing ninety-nine percent of this time. It’s only when things like Haru throw him a curveball that things get hairy. Yes, he’s too reckless at times, but he usually manages to keep out of trouble. I mean, sure, when he was fighting Origin while Haru was saving you guys, he let himself get injured—“

                “What?” Kairi fell for the subject change.

                “—but the attack went deeper than he had been expecting. He had it planned out but he misjudged a bit.” He stopped and looked at Kairi. “That one was my fault; I told you earlier. He wouldn’t have run off to fight Origin on his own without my suggestion. But he didn’t think there was any other choice; hero complex from wanting to be like you guys and all that. He was resigned that he might get hurt, like now. He didn’t think it would be that much, but he knew he had to defeat Origin, so he did what he had to.”

                “Hero complex?” Riku puzzled.

                Yami nodded. He knew they hadn’t seen it. “What do you think happened back there; why I’m so mad?” He shook his head. “He jumped in front of the fu—I mean frigging—spear to stop Mr. Idiot numero uno from getting hit.” Haru looked guiltier than ever. “Stop it! Stop looking like that!” he ordered. “You’re not supposed to be depressed! You’re supposed to be an annoying ray of sunshine! I personally love seeing you admit that you’re wrong, but stop it!”

                Then Yami fell silent. He felt… something; a fluttering feeling in his chest, a pulsing of something against his eardrums. It was unsettling. He felt his breathing get more labored, like he really _had to_. He stopped talking and started walking.

                “Yami?” Kairi tried.

                But Yami kept walking, ignoring the loud and annoying voices of the people who cared so much about Akio and were acting like they cared about him too. Why couldn’t they just shut up? He was exhausted.

(Kairi)

                Yami was silent for the rest of the day and into the evening. She was worried. Why had he fallen silent so suddenly, and why did he look so confused and concerned? What had happened? And why did he seem to insist that no one should care about him?

                They settled in to camp for the night and he immediately curled up and went to sleep before they even ate, still without a word, still without any acknowledgement that they were talking to him.

                She was worried. He was a piece of Akio; of course she was worried about him! She cared about Akio, and Yami was part of him. Yes he seemed to be a stubborn and rude part, but he was a part of him nevertheless. And he was suffering alone because he wouldn’t let anyone in, just like Akio had done until recently. They really seemed to be very alike in many ways, and Kairi had to wonder if Akio had been feeling some of the things that Yami was so obviously going through. Fear. Despair. Anger. Sadness. All of those things were natural without a doubt, but the thing was that she didn’t want either of them to feel them.

                Sora came over and sat next to her. “What do you make of Yami?” he asked.

                Kairi sighed. “He seems very lost,” she decided.

                “Yeah, I thought so too,” Sora agreed.

(Haru)

                Haru could hardly stand it. It was all his fault! Yami was right! If he hadn’t frozen up, he and Akio both could have gotten away. There was no way around it, and Yami seemed to love to make him feel guilty; to remind him of it. He had to remember that Yami was part of Akio, but he was not Akio. He had to remember that it wasn’t Akio that wanted to see him suffer… right?

                He loved Akio, and it was his fault that he had been hurt and abducted. He had messed things up. Now there was no way that he would win back his heart. He had to worry about getting him back. His feelings didn’t matter! That much he agreed with Yami; their feelings didn’t matter compared to getting back the person they cared about. Now if he could just get to Yami and not snap at him, maybe they could work together; and maybe together, they could figure out how to save Akio without getting hurt.

                But he got a feeling that would be easier said than done.


	10. Solace Arc: Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(Yami)

                As they were walking, things didn’t feel as amicable as Yami would have liked. He hated being out in the real world! He hated the heavy feeling in his chest! Why couldn’t things be like he was used to: quiet and calm and peaceful; why couldn’t he be back with Akio and away from all of these cheerfully chattering people… Well, the trio of masters were, anyway. Haru just kept staring in Yami’s general direction, and it was quite unsettling. Yami ended up getting stiffer and stiffer, walking instinctively further and further away from the person in question. He was uncomfortable, and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out _why_ Haru was staring at him so intensely. They had made a truce, and it didn’t feel like anger. Haru knew that Yami was no threat. Yami had saved him. So what had Yami done to deserve such scrutiny?

                He finally couldn’t take it any longer. He stopped and whipped around to face Haru and break his silence. “What the f—I mean heck—is your problem?” he demanded. “Why do you keep staring at me, moving closer to me, and making me uncomfortable? You’re freaking me out!”

                “I’m not trying to!” Haru claimed. Somehow they were far enough away from the adults at the moment so they didn’t notice. “I’m just trying to understand you!”

                Yami shook his head. “What’s to understand?” he asked. “I’m just an entity of darkness that won’t be around much longer. What does it matter?”

                “I just can’t figure out, if you’re darkness, how this isn’t all your fault!” Haru froze.

                Yami laughed nervously. “What makes you figure that it would be?”

                “I get that it’s my fault too, but surely you made Akio leave! You’ve been pushing him away from me! You hate me!”

                “Uh, no I haven’t.” Yami took a deep breath to try to regain his composure and make it into a joke. He knew it wasn’t, but maybe if he tried he could deal with it a little easier. “I don’t _make_ Akio do anything, and honestly I don’t even do much ‘suggesting’.”

                Haru shook his head. “I’m not saying it right—“

                “All I want to do is keep him safe!!” Yami snapped. “Do you think I encouraged him to take a walk? No! I didn’t stop him, because I didn’t think there was any danger!”

                “If you want to protect him, why didn’t you try to stop him? Why would you possibly think it was a good idea for Akio to be alone?”

                “I thought it was safe!” Yami said exasperatedly. “Origin’s gone. I thought he was the only threat out there. So did Akio! We had no idea that this ‘Solace’ dick was around and would be there! And we’ve been over it; if you hadn’t followed like an idiot, he could have gotten away!”

                “Huh?” Haru looked shocked at the direct accusation.

                “Maybe if he wasn’t protecting your pea-brained self he would have been about to move quickly enough to run away instead of defending you! He’s fast. No one could have been captured!” Yami truly believed that. “If this is anyone’s fault it’s yours! You’re an asshole, you’re needy, you’re clingy! You won’t accept what happened, and just because I’m standing here and you can talk to me and not bring it up to your precious Akio you’re taking it out on me!” It had escalated to yelling on his part.

                Haru growled. “You’re the one being an asshole!” he disagreed. “You’re the one who hates me! You’re the one who made him break up with me, and you’re the one who is acting like a child!”

                “I didn’t make him break up with you!” Yami yelled back. “I don’t make him do anything! Don’t you get that? I don’t’ make any decisions! I don’t do anything! And I certainly didn’t do anything this time, and that was a problem, okay?”

                “I don’t understand you! You aren’t even supposed to exist!” Haru finally snapped.

                “SHUT UP!” Yami growled. The air grew dark and thick. His voice echoed again with many through the empty void. Tiny waves of darkness surrounded Yami. “I know I’m not supposed to exist out here, didn’t you hear me earlier? But don’t you dare imply that I’m not supposed to be with Akio! There wouldn’t _be_ Akio anymore if it wasn’t for me! If it weren’t for me holding his heart together, he would never have healed and woken up after Xehanort! If it weren’t for me, he never would have been able to defeat Origin! If it weren’t for me, he would have succumbed to Xehanort years ago, or worse!”

                Haru started backing up. “Calm down, Yami,” he requested shakily as the adults finally caught up with the scene.

                “Oh great; now you’re afraid of me.” Yami rolled his eyes. “I was calm.” Yami said smoothly. “And that didn’t seem to satisfy you. It’s no wonder we’re both sick of your shit. And I am.”

                Suddenly Yami’s eyes started watering and he made a decision. He turned around for a moment before turning back. “I’m not going with you guys anymore,” he decided. “You’re useless anyway. What good did any of you ever do?” He turned again and flashed away into darkness before appearing behind a specific rock that he knew he was looking for but they never would. Tears fell out of his eyes. He couldn’t stop it, so he laughed at it. “Why am I so upset? They’re all idiots anyway.”

                Tori was next to him. “What was all that about? And why are you crying?”

                “Do you want to come with me?” he asked her while wiping his arm across his eyes.

                “Huh?”

                “Do you want to come with me?” he repeated.

                “W-what about them?” Tori worried.

                “They’re useless. Not to mention, Haru’s an asshole.” Yami crossed his arms and tried not to sniffle. “They’re too loud. Maybe you’ll be better.” He paused. His voice was back to one. “I’ll teach you how to fight. I’ll teach you how to defend yourself, and together, you and I will save Akio! Who needs them?”

                Tori shook her head. “This wasn’t part of the plan, Yami,” she disagreed. “You told me not to deviate from the plan. And you know who needs them? Akio. Maybe you don’t think so right now, but he does.”

                “Well _he_ can go back to them once he’s safe,” Yami huffed. Tori sighed. “I thought you wanted to help. I thought you wanted adventure.”

                “I do, but—“

                “Then come with me.”

                “But you’re… you’re wavering,” she finally explained.

                Yami froze and looked down at his hands. He was surrounded by darkness. He started laughing. “Oh my god that sucks,” he finally managed to get out. “I’m sorry that you have to see me like this,” he apologized. “I’ve always liked you, and now you’re afraid of me. Of course.”

                She studied him. “I’m not scared of you, Yami,” she assured after a moment. She paused. “I’ll go with you.” She held out a hand.

                Yami took it, and when he did, he calmed down entirely, the darkness getting absorbed back into him as he stopped falling apart. “Sorry about that,” Yami said. “I’m not used to being in the realm of the awake. I was upset. It must have made my dark powers go slightly out of control; but I’m good now.” He nodded. “I got into a pretty bad argument with Haru back there; that’s why I’m leaving. I can’t be within a hundred feet of the guy without him starting a fight.”

                “Haru’s… going through a lot,” Tori said. “Between the stuff with his mom, all of you guys’ adventures, and now Akio breaking up with him… he’s having a hard time dealing with it all.”

                “It’s no excuse,” Yami argued. He was beginning to regret offering to take her along with him.

                “I know!” Tori said. “I know it’s not; I’m just trying to put it into a bit of perspective, you know? I’m trying to give him a break myself.”

                Yami slowly nodded. “I gotcha.” He smiled. “So, let’s go before they decide to look for me. I really don’t want to have to deal with them anymore.”

                “I just thought of something,” Tori said. “What if we have to leave this world? We don’t have one of those fancy ships that they have.”

                Yami paused. “Crap. You’re right.” He sighed. “But… We’ll look around a bit. I don’t think they’d leave without me, so they’d wait until I came back or they could find me.”

                “Sounds like a plan, Stan,” Tori joked. “So what’s the rest of the plan, General?”

                Yami laughed softly. “I like you,” he said with a grin. She smiled back. “We start moving. I have no idea what direction Solace went, so we’ll just pick one and go that way until we can’t go any farther,” Yami decided. “And I’ll teach you how to fight as we go. Do you still have that staff?”

                She nodded and held up the staff. “It’s better than nothing, right?”

                Yami agreed. “Akio studied a lot of different kinds of fighting, so I have a vague idea of how to swing that kind of think. I’ll have to mess around with it; but I can teach you how to dodge, and I might be able to teach you a few spells.”

                “Spells?” Tori’s eyes widened. “Like magic?”

                “Yep.”

                Tori grinned. But then she looked down. “If we didn’t have to save Akio, this could be a lot of fun.”

                Yami frowned for a moment before grinning. “Hey, no reason we can’t have fun while saving the day, is there? As long as we don’t forget our goal or let ourselves stray from it, there’s nothing to worry about.”

 

(Haru)

                “Well crap,” Haru muttered as he looked at the spot where Yami had been. “I really messed things up.”

                “Where did he go?” Kairi worried. She looked around frantically for any sign of Yami the entity of darkness, but there was none to be found.

                “I didn’t see where he went,” Riku said.

                Sora shook his head and looked at Haru. “What happened?” he asked. He didn’t sound annoyed, much to Haru’s surprise.

                “I’m an idiot, as he so likes to point out,” Haru said. “I tried talking to him and let my words get ahead of me. I said some stupid stuff and he took it very personally.” He looked down. “I was just trying to figure him out, but I slipped up. We simply don’t like each other, and I let that show. Yami seems to be very… sensitive, I guess.”

                “What did you say?” Kairi worried.

                “Well, the part that made him snap like that was ‘you aren’t supposed to exist.’ I wasn’t trying to say it that way, but, well… I suck at words lately.” Haru sighed. “This is definitely my fault; we have to find him!”

                _Now_ they all looked annoyed. “How can you tell someone they aren’t supposed to exist?” Kairi demanded. “How can you possibly think that there is any possible way to phrase that that wouldn’t come off as trying to hurt them?”

                “I’m sorry, I—“

                Kairi shook her head. “You need to be more careful about what you say in the future.” Riku nodded. “For now, let’s move on from it. We have to find Yami. Without him, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to get Akio back.”

                Haru nodded. He had really messed things up this time. He had messed things up so much that he knew that even once Akio was safe and things were back to normal, he would never get him back in the way that he wanted. Because he was an idiot; Yami was right about that. And if Yami hadn’t convinced Akio of it that meant that he knew it himself and Akio didn’t have patience for stupidity.


	11. Solace Arc: Chapter 6

Chapter 6

(Yami)

                Yami was playing around with the wooden staff, showing Tori stuff as he did so. “This thing is pretty heavy,” Yami noted as he swung it. “You certainly could do some damage with it; where did you get it?”

                Tori chuckled. “Well actually, it’s a theatre prop from a play I was in last year,” she admitted. “But I thought it was sturdily made, and when I heard that Haru and Akio were leaving I grabbed it before I snuck in to follow them.”

                Yami blinked. “Why the heck did a theatre production make a solid wood staff?” he wondered. “That doesn’t even make any sense. It would be dangerous if it got dropped on someone…”

                “I don’t know,” Tori said with a shrug. She held out a hand. He handed it back to her. “It doesn’t matter, though; it’s useful for us now.” She swung it in the same manner that he had been. “Like this?” she asked.

                “Very good,” he said. “At least, I think. It would be hard to tell until used in battle, but I’m certainly not about to go out looking for a battle. Too dangerous for both of us. I’m not used to fighting in the real world.”

                Tori nodded. “Sounds smart. I’d hate for anything to happen to us; if it did, we’d never be able to help Akio.”

                “Say Tori;” Yami began, “what made you follow everyone anyway? Didn’t you realize that it was dangerous? Didn’t you realize that you didn’t know how to fight and that you could be a liability?”

                “Well, when you put it that way, no, I didn’t,” she said. “And liability is a bit harsh, Yami.”

                “…Sorry. I’m not the best with words,” he said. “I hope you’ll be a little patient with me at least. Like I said, I usually live in the realm of dreams, and well, Akio’s pretty understanding of whatever I’m trying to say. I’m not used to talking to other people.”

                Tori smiled. “Yeah, I’ll be patient. But you have to learn quickly, because I’m not _that_ patient.”

                “Please don’t be mad,” Yami worried.

                “I’m not mad!” Tori promised. “I’m not mad at you.”

                Yami studied her face for confirmation. She didn’t _look_ angry, so maybe she wasn’t. He nodded. Tori was really nice; maybe it was a good thing to be traveling with her now rather than Akio’s family. She had fewer expectations. She didn’t expect him to be like Akio. She didn’t expect anything out of him at all.

                “So what about magic?” Tori asked. “When are you going to teach me some of that?”

                Yami paused. “Well, that’s assuming you have any raw ability at all. Almost anyone can use magic, but not quite everyone, and not everyone can use it effectively.”

                “Hey, give me a chance at least! You told me you’d teach me some spells!” Tori said.

                “I never said I wasn’t going to try to teach you,” Yami assured. “I just wanted you to know from the get-go that it might not be possible. I didn’t want you to be disappointed, capische?”

                “Fine,” Tori agreed. “So let’s get to it!”

                “We’ll start with a simple cure spell,” Yami said. “Defensive magic is honestly more important than offence. Mind you, I’m not good with cure spells, so this one’s going to be a bit up to you. And, well, Akio learned by chance on his own. I didn’t teach him.”

                “Okay then. Let’s at least give it a shot,” Tori said. “What do I do?” Yami nodded. He summoned a knife from the darkness and made a small cut on his hand. “What are you doing?” Tori protested.

                Yami shrugged and sent the knife away. “It’s nothing,” he said. He held out his hand. “Now come over here and hover your hand over mine.”

                “…Okay,” she agreed and came over. “Now what?” she asked once set up.

                “Now you need to think with all of your concentration that you want to heal the wound. Think of warmth and sunshine and water. Picture the wound being gone.” There was a flash of green light and the cut was healed. “See? That was easy, wasn’t it?”

                Tori grinned. “Yeah! It was!” She laughed. “But don’t go and injure yourself just for practice again, okay?” she requested.

                Yami paused to consider. “Sure,” he decided. “I won’t.”

                “So what’s next? Offensive magic?”

                “Right. Let’s start with a simple thunder spell. This one’s a bit more complicated.”

                Tori nodded. “I’m ready for it,” she said. “Tell me what to do!”

                “Okay, just concentrate really hard on the end of your staff. Picture the static electricity in the air all focusing on that one point in space. Once that’s done, release the tension in your body and picture lighting flashing out from the staff.”

                She followed his directions and ended up with the effect that was needed. “Awesome!” she laughed. “I did it!”

                “Great job!” Yami cheered. He paused. “But for now, that’s enough practice. We need to get some rest before we continue on. We don’t want to exhaust ourselves.”

                “Right!” Tori said. “But where?”

                “Between those rocks over there,” he said. “They should block the wind, and there certainly is wind right now, isn’t there?”

                Tori nodded. “You’re right. I can hardly stand it.”

…

                Yami stared up at the sky above. It was a strange shade of bright pink with purple towards the edges, and it was very distracting to say the least. He had been trying to sleep (since apparently that was something he had to do now, joy of joys) but it wasn’t working out so well.

                He was worried about them. Why was he worried about them? Sora and Kairi; his mom and dad; at least they made a little sense, but not really. They didn’t care about him, and he shouldn’t personally care about them. He shouldn’t personally care about _anyone._ These were Akio’s people. And he certainly shouldn’t be worrying about the idiotic boy known as Haru. He didn’t like Haru; hate was a strong word from Yami’s side, but he got the feeling that there was some kind of deeper dislike from Haru. I mean, who tells someone that they aren’t supposed to exist?

                And there it came. The tears. His eyes were burning and he rolled over on his side to try to stop himself from full on crying. Why did they have to hate him? Why did they want him to be Akio when he couldn’t be, why did they want to compare them? He could never compare to Akio. He would never be so good, so _light._ He would never be what they wanted, but he didn’t want them to hate him. He wasn’t there to hurt Akio; he was there to protect him. He was there for no other purpose than to make Akio happy and keep him safe, and some job he had done of that.

                Haru was right. It was Yami’s fault that Akio was gone. He had failed to protect him. Again.

                One tiny sob slipped out and Yami hoped that Tori had been asleep and hadn’t heard it. It was ridiculous for him to be crying, but—

                “Yami? What’s wrong?” Tori worried as she stood up and came over.

                “Nothing’s wrong, go away.”

                Tori sighed. “You said that you aren’t used to the world of the awake; that’s got to be hard. You can talk to me, you know?”

                Yami blinked a few times in surprise. Was Tori really that nice? Was Tori really that open to hearing what was bothering some entity from another realm hopefully without judging? Was she really…? “Everything’s too bright,” he decided to say about what was part of what was keeping him awake.

                “Well, things are pretty bright here,” Tori agreed. “I certainly couldn’t get any sleep,” she said. “But I don’t think that’s why you’re crying.”

                Yami stayed laying down where she couldn’t see his face. This was ridiculous! He was supposed to be strong! He was supposed to be protecting her now! But… “I’m worried,” he admitted. “I’m worried about Sora and Kairi; hell, I’m even worried about Haru. But most of all, I’m worried about Akio; and I don’t know what to do about any of those things.”

                “Oh.” She paused. “I don’t know what to tell you either. I’m worried about Akio too, and, well, you know all of those people, even if not personally. You know them through Akio, and he cares about them. It makes sense that you would too, and that you would worry about them for him since he’s not here.”

                “That… that actually makes sense,” Yami said. “I don’t know… I just feel so lonely without being with Akio, you know? I’ve never been without him for this long, and I can barely feel him at all.”

                “But you can still feel him, so you know that he’s okay. And we’ll find him. I promise that we’ll find him and get him away from Solace. We’ll save him.” She sounded so soothing that he almost couldn’t stand it.

                “Why are you such a good person, Tori?”

                “Huh?”

                “You’re so kind; why is that?” he wondered. “You’re so much more understanding. You don’t have expectations. You don’t hate me for not meeting those expectations.”

                “First of all, they don’t hate you,” Tori tried to put an end to that thought. “They might not understand you, and they might just want Akio back, but they don’t hate you. I saw that much. They were worried about you for your sake. They weren’t worried about you being dangerous. They weren’t expecting you to do things. They weren’t expecting you to act a certain way.”

                “Yes they were,” Yami insisted. “Everyone always expects something, and when you can’t meet that expectation, they judge, or they worry.”

                “You got that lesson from Akio, didn’t you?” Tori sympathized. “He’s wrong on that one,” she said. “I know that to you, Akio seems right on everything; but he does have skewed opinions based on the life he’s had. No one’s judging you, and no one’s expecting you to be Akio.”

                “But—“

                “And I’m not really a great person,” she said. “I don’t know how to say it, but I certainly have a lot of flaws that you just haven’t seen yet. I’m sure you will though. I’m trying to be patient and understanding with you, and, well, I’m a pretty patient person. But I’m certainly no better than anyone else.”

                “I know that you aren’t perfect. No one is,” Yami said. “But you still are very nice.”

                “Nah, I’m not that great,” she disagreed.

                “I’ll just have to disagree with you then,” he decided. “In the meantime, thank you for listening.”

                “Anytime,” she said.


	12. Solace Arc: Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just noticed I got chapter numbering off, but I'm in a rush, so forgive me.

Chapter 7

(Haru)

                This world was so empty. The farther they went, the fewer rocks were in sight, though there was a cave in the distance. There was no way to know if they were going in the right direction to find Yami or Akio either one and they needed to find both of them as soon as possible. Haru was lost, and if he wasn’t there with his family he would have no idea what to do. He wasn’t very good on his own, after all. He needed someone or something to hold on to.

                They were all so quiet now. They had been trying to keep the journey upbeat until Haru messed up with Yami and ended up with him running away, but now with that lingering bit of hope and visible sign that Akio was okay somewhere gone, they couldn’t keep up with the smiles and laughter, and that made things all the harder for him to deal with. He just wished he had some idea where Yami had gone, or Solace. It would be best if he knew where both of them were, but now he had no clues at all, and without Akio there to work his magic they all seemed to be struggling. Haru knew that Sora, Kairi, and his father were all heroes in their own right; that they had worked together and apart to solve so many problems and beat the odds, but they… they just weren’t Akio. Their experience almost made them less helpful because they weren’t a sign that things could be under control when someone didn’t know what was going on. He had heard the stories; they had started out inexperienced and untrained too… But Haru was used to Akio. Traveling once to save him had been one thing. It was a brief journey. This one had been far longer, and this time it was his fault that he was gone in the first place.

                “You know, Haru; perhaps you would have been a better choice,” Solace’s voice came from behind them. Haru summoned his Keyblade as he noticed how far behind he had fallen. He prepared to run past Solace. “There’s a lot more room to work with; yes, the light in your heart isn’t as pure, but that would have been a simple fix. Akio’s just so much more… interesting.”

                Haru stopped his attempt to flee and turned back to look at him. “What did you do to him?” he demanded.

                “Oh, I haven’t done much; it’s all the spear,” Solace said. “The Soul Spear has surely been doing a lot of manipulating of his mind, but I myself have done nothing but provide it. The spear isn’t meant for human hands, and I’m very curious to see what comes from it.”

                “Is that what this is to you? Some kind of sick experiment?” Haru asked in disgust. “Just what kind of person are you?”

                “I was once a High Seraph,” he said. Haru heard the adults yell and start to run back; but Solace was not attacking him. “But darkness has invaded my heart as of the late. A side effect of the Soul Spear, I’m afraid. I was supposed to pass it on to a successor of my own kind, but, well… that just didn’t seem very interesting. Not when I’ve had my eye on a certain human being for decades; a heart of pure light that selflessly chose to become one with a heart that had fallen into pure darkness. That kind of selflessness is usually reserved to angels. It’s in our nature; not so much for a human. I’ve been so curious all along.”

                “Angels? Heart of pure light? What are you talking about?” Haru asked in confusion. “It doesn’t make any sense! If you’re some kind of being of light, why are you doing this?”

                Solace laughed. “Because it’s fun. And I haven’t had fun in a very, very long time.”

                “Solace!” Sora yelled as they reached them.

                Solace smirked and turned around, not at all afraid of the summoned Keyblades or their wielders. “Hello, Keyblade Masters. I bring happy tidings. Somehow, your Akio is still alive. Surprising, really; he must have had more left of his heart than I thought.”

                “He’s alive?” Kairi asked. Her stance lowered in relief. “Tell me then! Where did you take him?”

                Solace shrugged. “I don’t remember. This place is awfully homogenous.”

                “You don’t remember?” Haru growled. “How the hell does that work?”

                Solace glanced back. “It doesn’t matter. None of this is in my control anymore,” he said. “It’s all up to the spear now. Sure, there are certain things I’d love to see, but it’s not my decision. That’s why this is all so much fun.” He looked around. “Where is that entity of darkness?” he wondered. He thought for a moment before laughing. “Oh, you chased him off, didn’t you, Haru? I expected no less. Such raw emotion in a world full of them is hard to bear.” He sighed. “And too bad, too; now I have to go out of the way to find him, and I can’t sense him at all since he doesn’t exist. But he was the other half of this experiment, so I’d hate to miss out on that side of the action.”

                “Experiment?” Riku said in outrage. “You call abducting a child and stabbing them in the chest with a spear an _experiment_?”

                “But of course,” Solace said with a shrug. “What else could it be? And why not? If I’m caught I’ll be destroyed, but I would have been anyway. I’m sure the elders will soon search for me to retrieve the Soul Spear, and when they find that I don’t have it they will search for who does. It’s such a pity. I couldn’t let them simply destroy it this time. I’m far too fond of the weapon and the power that came with it.”

                Sora stared blankly. “Elders? What—“

                “Oh dear, I forgot to tell you earlier; don’t try to go to your little friends for help; the other Keyblade masters; Aqua, Terra, Ventus, Lea; they are outside of your reach,” he said. “Used a fellow angel to put them in an illusion, and they aren’t going to get out of it anytime soon, if ever. So perhaps you should use a bit of that willpower to try to save them sometime along the way; and perhaps King Mickey and his friends too, though I have no idea what Origin did to them.”

                “What?” Riku growled. “Why are you going out of your way to hurt all of these people?”

                Solace shrugged. “Because it’s fun. And oh how it’s been so long since I had any fun.” He laughed. “It’s remarkable, really; your Keyblade code of ethics. Not attacking me because I have no weapon even though you know I’ve harmed so many you hold dear.” He took a few steps back before sprouting wings. “I suppose I had better begin my search; I really should find Akio and Yami.” He rose into the air in a flash of light and was gone.

                Haru’s heart sank again. What had he done to Akio? What was this Soul Spear, and why was Solace doing all of this? All of that talk and he had no more answers that he had before. He was _still_ worried about Akio and had no idea how to find him.

                “Why were you so far behind?” Riku worried.

                Haru looked up from his turbulent thoughts at the question. “I don’t know, really. I think I got to thinking and stopped walking at some point.”

                Kairi looked ashamed. “We should have been paying more attention to where you were.”

                “You know,” Haru said. “It’s just ridiculous that you should have to worry!” he said. “When you guys were my age, you were out saving the worlds. Alone. And yet here I am, so incompetent that if there wasn’t someone around to tell me what to do I would be completely lost in this great big empty world, and anywhere else for that matter! What happened to Akio; that was my fault too! If I weren’t so useless I would have listened to him and ran and he would be safe!” He shook his head. “Akio can take care of himself, but I can’t, and he can’t take care of me too…”

                “Haru…” Kairi tried. “It’s going to be okay. This isn’t your fault. We’ll find Akio.”

                “Yeah! When we were young, we did some really dangerous things; and things could have turned out far worse,” Sora said. “But if we had had help; or at least I did, and that didn’t make me any less strong.”

                “We all had help,” Riku assured. “Whenever we would stray, we always had someone there to drag us back on the right path. Sometimes it was each other, and sometimes not, but we never were alone.”

                Haru looked up at them. He looked between Sora and Kairi, and it was so funny. If you put the two together, you may as well have Akio standing right there in front of you. Those words; those were the things that Akio would have said to help him. He tried to smile but failed. “Right,” he said. “I guess you did talk about some other people, didn’t you? Even when you were apart, you weren’t alone… I guess… I don’t have to do things alone to be good enough.”

                “Yeah!” Kairi said.

                Haru sighed. “Thanks, you guys,” he said. “You’re the best.”


	13. Solace Arc: Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(Yami)

                They were walking again. So much to do, so little time. They couldn’t sleep for the light, they couldn’t eat since there was no food. All they had to do was look for Solace and Akio, and so far, that search had turned up nothing useful. “You know; this sucks,” Yami announced. “We’ve been walking for so long and we’ve had no sign of Solace or Akio at all.”

                “You’re impatient.” Tori observed. “We’ll find them eventually. We haven’t really been traveling for that long.”

                “Forgive me for not being patient; I’m not used to having to be,” Yami explained. “I’ve not been human for very long, and inside of Akio is pretty chill. Very little stress these days, and even when there was, things were pretty relaxed most of the time.” He looked down. Akio… Akio was hurt and alone. Akio was out there somewhere lost. Akio didn’t have him to turn to right now, and he didn’t have Akio to turn to either. It was so weird. So bright. So loud.

                And there went the waterworks. Why was he crying so much? Why didn’t he know what to do about anything at all?

                “Yami? Are you okay?” Tori asked.

                Yami laughed and wiped away tears. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he claimed. “No big deal at all. Not having an existential crisis again or anything.”

                “Oh. Trouble with those emotions again, huh?” Tori sympathized. “I wish I knew how to help.”

                “I don’t need help! Or at least, I shouldn’t!” He crossed his arms. “But I’m just so worried! I don’t know what to do. Akio’s out there and I can’t help him! And I can’t even find him to begin to help him! I’m not able to do anything at all useful!”

                “Hey! You’re helping train me! That’s useful!” Tori argued. “Besides; we’re looking for him. It’s not like we’re sitting back and doing nothing. We just haven’t found him yet; that doesn’t mean we’ll never find him. It’ll just take time. We can’t just expect him to pop out from behind the next rock or something.”

                Yami paused. “You’re right,” he admitted. “Why do you have to be right? It’s frustrating…” he paused and looked at her. She looked annoyed. “But you know; it’s kind of nice. I’m not alone when I’m with you. You’re there to help push me along and tell me that I’m being a downer. You’re good at being there and trying to help even though you can’t. Thanks for that.”

                Tori blinked. “And here I was about to snap at you for calling me frustrating and you go and say something touching,” she said with a laugh. “I don’t know what to think about you, Yami. You’re a tricky one to figure out!”

                “Me? Tricky?” Yami chuckled. “No, I’m not that complicated. I’m just an entity of darkness trying to figure out how to deal with the outside world while I have to. My personality is just off because I’ve only ever really talked to one person, you know? But you; you’re interesting and made of light. You’re by far the star of this story, capische? And even though I’m sad right now, I’m still happy to have you here by my side. You keep me hopeful.”

                “You can’t be darkness; you’re too sweet!” Tori protested. “I’m not that great, really. And I’m certainly nothing special. Your story is unfolding just as much as mine, not that we’re in stories. We just have to stick together to make it through! Alone we’re pretty weak, with my inexperience with fighting and your inexperience with being in the realm of the awake; but together we can do anything!”

                “You have a story. My story is going to last only a little longer, so don’t get too used to me being around,” Yami said. “As soon as I’m back to Akio, I’m gone. No offence, but why would I want to be out in the world of the awake when I don’t have to be? It’s too loud, too bright, too many people talking. It’s okay with just you, but back with the group it was terrible. They’re so loud, and so dull. I’m glad I left.” He started walking again.

                “Your story is going to go on from here! Even if you go back to Akio, you’ll still be around. Your story just might be a little more… I don’t know… just, different is all!” Tori walked faster to keep up. “Besides, it would be cool if you were still around. You’re a nice guy, Yami.”

                Yami paused. “You’re a cool girl, Tori. And I consider you to be a friend. But don’t get attached, capische? I won’t be around, whether you like it or not.”

                “Don’t you tell me what to do!” Tori protested. “I’m not going to act based on the fact that you’ll be gone one day. Even if you will be, you’re my friend now and I’m going to treat you as such!”

                Yami glanced back and smiled. “Thanks, Tori. I don’t think you really understand it, but I won’t try to stop you from thinking whatever it is you think. If you think we’re friends and that it will stay that way even if I’m gone, go ahead; but personally I don’t think a friendship with no communication whatsoever is much of a friendship at all.” He sighed. This all made him… sad. Why was he sad that he wouldn’t see Tori again one day? There wasn’t any reason to be upset about it. It was inevitable, and it was something he had been looking forward to. How could one person change all of that? “That being said… I’m glad I met you. I’m glad that I’m your friend right now.”

                Tori smiled back. “I’m glad that you’re glad; and I’m glad that you’ve given up on changing my mind so easily. That would have been really annoying to deal with.”

                “Well, I’m not really sure what changed. I mean, when it was Mom and Dad talking about caring, I was so against it, but for some reason being your friend doesn’t bother me.”

                “It probably has to do with feeling expectations like you were talking about earlier,” Tori pointed out. “You feel like they expect you to be certain things and that they feel like they _must_ care; and while that’s not the case with them either, you know for sure in your heart that my reasoning is different.”

                “Well aren’t you creative.” Yami laughed.

                “Not really. I’m just pulling stuff from nowhere and—“

                “—and I’m saying that it’s worth something. I’ve heard that one before.” Yami shook his head. “No. You’re smart, capische? You’re not making things up. You’re observing.” He sighed. “I just don’t get it; how is it that I’m so good at walking Akio through his emotions and insecurities and yet I have all of these of my own?”

                “You’re separate,” Tori said. “It’s different when you’re dealing with someone else than when you are dealing with something in your own heart.”

                “Stop saying ‘your own heart’. I don’t have a heart,” Yami disagreed. “Don’t get it in your head that I do, because I don’t.”

                “It’s a figure of speech,” Tori grumbled. “Besides, I think you have a heart. You’re too emotional not to.”

                “Well, feel free to keep thinking that. It isn’t true.” Yami sighed. “But you know, Tori; thanks for trying.”

                Tori stared at him for a moment as they walked. She nodded. “You’re welcome,” she said. “Let’s stick together, okay? Together we can find Akio, and together we can figure out how to save him.”

                “Right!” Yami said. “Together we can get through this! We aren’t alone.”

                “No matter how strange things are for you right now, just remember, things are strange for me too. I mean, I’ve never been on a journey like this before! The biggest journey I ever had was the time I got lost in the shopping mall when I was five.”

                Yami laughed at that. “Really?”

                “Yeah! My life’s pretty boring. I don’t get out much. Now I’m in a different world talking to someone who is supposedly an entity of darkness who is teaching me how to fight. I never thought I’d learn how to fight!” Tori grinned. “But here I am having the adventure I’ve always wanted to have; well, not the one I wanted to have, because that one wouldn’t involve having my friend kidnapped and having to save him.”

                “Ah well,” Yami said with a shrug. “Your life’s not as boring as you think, I’m sure, but I’m also sure you’ve never experienced anything like a real quest before. It’s eye opening, or at least it was for Akio.”

                “I’m sure it must’ve been! I mean, we always talked on the internet about how he wanted to get out there and save his family; and then he actually did!” She smiled. “I didn’t know it was him, and I didn’t know that he was being serious in the conversations, but it was inspiring when I found out about it! Maybe we can do whatever we want. Maybe we don’t have to be limited by the everyday.”

                “You certainly don’t have to be limited by society,” Yami agreed. “So keep your head up. We’ll make your quest worthwhile too.”


	14. Solace Arc: Chapter 8

Chapter 8

(Haru)

                They were still walking and they still hadn’t found anything at all. Solace’s words haunted Haru, but the words of the masters brought some hope back to his mind that he wasn’t useless, that he wasn’t worthless for needing help. Maybe he was just as good as anyone else; well, maybe not as Akio, but Akio was perfect—wait, he needed to try to stop thinking things like that. He needed to give up on getting Akio back romantically, and he couldn’t keep the infatuation at the current stage no matter how much he wanted to. Akio had flaws; Haru was just having a hard time picking out ones that mattered.

                This was all so bizarre. No matter what he did or said, nothing was helping them find Akio. And Solace; well, he didn’t know what to make of Solace. He knew he was the enemy, but he didn’t think that even Solace himself knew his motivation. And Haru’s infatuation with Akio, his obsession… He got the feeling that Solace was the same. And if Solace was what he could become, he needed to change. He needed to stop fixating on the one person who had always been the most important. He couldn’t let it go any further, get any worse.

                But why was Solace so fascinated by Akio in the first place? Haru got the feeling that if they could figure that out and if they could figure out just what the Soul Spear was that they might have a chance of finding Akio and saving him. But how would they find out if not from Solace himself? There was nothing else to go by. There was nothing to read and no way that they could leave to find anything. They had no other option but to question Solace himself.

                “Akio was a light destined to be snuffed out,” Solace interrupted Haru’s thoughts and made the group turn around to face him. He was floating in the air, wings slowly flapping. “He was destined to be Xehanort’s destruction, but only as a cage; he was only meant to hold the old fool until he died, and that death was meant to happen on that little island that night.”

                “Solace!” Sora yelled. Haru stared in wonder. It was like he had come to answer his questions himself.

                “A heart of pure light in a universe that didn’t need another becomes nothing but a burden on the worlds. Too much to protect, so why not let it die, right? There are meant to be _seven_ pure lights, not eight after all, and with none dead or dying why not destroy the spare?” Solace’s eyes were even more wild and crazed; he looked almost giddy. “His heart chose to contain Xehanort, and in that action he chose another piece of darkness that his heart was too pure to contain on its own to protect him. A darkness so foreign that it became someone of its own…”

                “Yami’s not Akio?” Haru asked hesitantly. How was he going to ask the right questions? What would Akio do? …No, he couldn’t think that. It was one thing to look to Akio as someone who seemed to know what was going on most of the time, but it was another to base every decision on his actions.

                “But of course,” Solace said with a roll of his eyes. “That should be obvious. A heart of pure darkness alone simply cannot exist, but one can latch on to a heart of pure light and become equal. Yami mirrors Akio because he has no physical form of his own and his mind was incomplete until Akio fully accepted the light. Yami learned only what Akio learned and felt what Akio felt; it makes sense for them to be so similar. They are one and the same and yet separate; quite the puzzle, to be sure.” Solace shook his head. “But I just can’t find Yami! I know he must be somewhere around here. He wouldn’t have left. But there’s nothing but all of you around to be found! Some moments I sense _something_ but it’s gone before I can locate it. I can’t even fully see both sides of the story.”

                He hadn’t found Yami? Haru was relieved by the fact more than he would have thought. Haru had Sora, Kairi, and Riku to stick by him to keep him safe. Yami had no one.

                “But worry not,” Solace said. “I’ll have you know that your Akio still lives even now. This is going so much better than anticipated. ‘Choice’ seems to be more powerful than I thought. He was never dull or ordinary, but this is beyond what I truly expected. It’s delightful.” He paused. “It’s such a wonder he survived up until now, I shouldn’t be so surprised to see him live a while longer.” He shook his head. “You know, all that ever kept him going was the desire to be like you, Sora and Kairi; Sora even more than Kairi. When people compare someone so much to a person, that person wants nothing more than to become the person described. Akio was no different, and when he failed to live up to those expectations it was another lash to his heart. ‘Be like Sora’ was his mantra for most of his life, what he said to himself to keep him going through all of the pain. ‘Sora would be happy, Sora would be strong, Sora would be brave.’ He tried so hard to become this person he knew so little about, and in the end, he failed. Or at least, to a point; soon that bravery came back into his heart and you know the rest of the story, don’t you, Haru?”

                “Huh?” Haru asked. “What are you—“

                “I guess you’re the dull one, aren’t you?” Solace mocked. “When he chose to live! How he saved everyone against what the universe planned! Those choices; those come from bravery! He was always so afraid but he did what he had to anyway! How could someone be so brave—so _good?_ You should understand!”

                That was when Haru realized that Solace knew; Solace knew about his feelings for Akio lasting for so long and being so strong; and if Solace wanted, he could expose it all, ruin everything, make his family lose respect, he could—“No one’s perfect, and anyone can be brave!” Haru heard his mouth say. “Maybe it is a _choice_ as you keep saying. Maybe you have to decide to have courage. Maybe it’s not natural.” And maybe it was time for Haru to make the choice to be that determined himself.

                “It’s remarkable, really; Akio’s heart changes the fate of everyone it touches,” Solace marveled.

                “Tell us about the Soul Spear!” Haru demanded. The Masters looked surprised, like they hadn’t thought of that, and certainly not directly asking.

                Solace grinned. “Finally a question worthwhile.” Solace landed on the ground. “Ah, the Soul Spear. I suppose you’d love to hear about what you believe to be ruining your life, wouldn’t you? It makes sense.” He laughed. He sounded so… different than before. “The Soul Spear is a weapon of pure light. It is not meant for use in battle; it is meant for the sorting of souls to be brought to the afterlife. If one is corrupt, it is destroyed using the spear. That was my task, my calling. But there are… ‘side effects’ to using a weapon of such power. With the darkness of each heart that is destroyed there is a risk of it entering the soul of the user. It was a risk I was forced to take. I didn’t exactly _want_ the job at first; but the power that came with it was worth it. Everyone looked up to me; I was the strongest, the bravest, and the most powerful. And it was the Soul Spear that gave me all of that power.” He looked sad for a moment. “Recently darkness slipped into my heart from a corrupt soul. It had been decided that when I lost my mind the spear would be destroyed rather than passed on. It’s far too dangerous, you see… But the Spear… it wants to live on. But there was no one worthy to take it in my time.”

                “You’re from another time?” Riku questioned.

                “But of course. I come from a future that was erased with the actions of a certain angel that Origin had been using to create illusions in the realm of the alive. Because of the actions that led to you being saved, the one known as Jet decided not to fade away.” Solace smiled. “And I was so happy to find that in this new timeline a certain heart of light had survived and saved all of you. Finally, someone worthy of the spear. A pity, really, that he had to be human. He’ll lose his heart so much faster. But I can wield the spear no longer; my heart is corrupt. All I can do is sit and watch how things come together when the spear is in the hands of a human. The spear has complete control over any wielder but an angel. That is why, though it was forged by humans, it was taken away.”

                “Complete control?” Haru asked. “What do you mean by that?”

                “How else is there to put it?” Solace asked. “It should have been in simple enough terms. His heart; it is gone from his control.”

                “You’re wrong! Where is he?” Sora demanded.

                “Hmph, you’re no fun,” Solace said with a shrug. “I know where he is now, but I’m not about to tell you; not that it would matter anyway. The Soul Spear wouldn’t allow you anywhere near him now, regardless of my actions.” He laughed. “I do thank you for taking the time to listen to my story. You think that it will ‘save’ him to know what the Soul Spear is; but though I’m glad to educate you, I assure you there is no point. It’s too late.” He paused. “Even if you somehow were to find Yami before I do, he couldn’t help you either. You may as well stop trying and go home to your empty lives. If the Soul Spear has no desire to spread destruction you have no reason to try to stop it.” He disappeared in a flash once more.

                “Wait a minute!” Haru tried. But he was gone. “Damn it,” he muttered.

                “Good idea on asking about the Soul Spear,” Kairi told him as she walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.

                “I was just trying to be brave,” Haru said. “Akio would have done the same. He would have known the right questions to ask.”

                “The Soul Spear takes complete control of its wielder,” Sora muttered. “So that means, if Akio’s being forced to use it…”

                “What if we destroy it?” Haru wondered. “What if there’s nothing left to control him?”

                “Huh?” Sora asked.

                “I mean, I know it could be dangerous, but what other choice do we have?” Haru wondered. “If something’s controlling Akio, he’d want it to stop, no matter the risk!”

                “And it could help,” Riku agreed. “I don’t see any other plan.”

                “But before we can do anything, we have to find him! And Yami too!” Kairi said. “So let’s get a move on. No more distractions!”


	15. Solace Arc: Chapter 9

Chapter 9

(Yami)

                “Do you think my parents are worried about me?” Tori suddenly asked Yami as they were walking. “I didn’t tell them I was going anywhere because they would have tried to stop me, but I don’t want them to worry. I’ll be alright!”

                “I don’t know much about parents, but I bet they are worried,” Yami said. “I hate it, but good parents worry about their children. A lot. And you’re just like Akio and Haru; still a child. That makes it ten times worse than if you were a grown up.”

                “Hey! You’re just a kid too, you know. Maybe even more so since you said you haven’t been around for very long!” Tori sighed. “So stop with the ‘higher-than-thou’ attitude.”

                “I wasn’t trying to have one!” Yami protested. “I just didn’t include myself in the info set because there wasn’t any point in it since I won’t be around for long. I’m not _really_ a kid since I don’t exactly exist.” They were both getting cranky and it was beginning to show. He shook his head and stopped. “Just stop here. We need to take a break, capische? We’re getting too tired. I don’t want to argue with you.”

                Tori looked back. “I’m sorry, Yami; I wasn’t trying to snap,” she said. “It’s just—you’re right. I’m tired.”

                “So let’s try again to get some sleep. We can start going again when we wake up; and maybe we’ll do some more training, I dunno. But I think you’ve really learned all I know to teach without actual in-battle training.” Yami sat on the ground. “And before you say it, I know it isn’t much; but I did what I could.”

                “I wasn’t going to complain,” Tori assured. “Compared to what I knew before, I’ve learned a lot. I trust you, Yami. If you knew more to teach, you would.”

                Yami laughed. “You’re right. I would. But I’m just as dumb as Haru.”

                “No you’re not,” Tori said. “I mean, I shouldn’t say Haru’s dumb, but he doesn’t know what to do with himself at all. You seem to be figuring it out as you go along. He doesn’t seem to take the time to put in the effort to learn.”

                “You know I’m not very good at looking at him as anything other than an idiot, but I’ve been trying. He just hasn’t been trying to do better, you know?” Yami said. “Maybe if he did a little more trying to change I could stand him.”

                “Then just keep trying! Someone has to,” Tori said. “I know that you just never thought you’d need to. You never imagined this situation, and I don’t blame you for that. I mean, who would have imagined this happening?”

                “I should have,” Yami said. “Bad things have a tendency to happen to Akio.”

                “Bad things?”

                “He gets hurt a lot; close to dying. I figure this time is no different.” He sighed. “But if it’s no different, that means that it will all turn out alright!”

                “Yeah! Keep that attitude!” Tori cheered. “We’ll find him! And we’ll save him, no problem!”

                Yami laughed. “Let’s just try to get some sleep,” he said. “Next time we wake up we’ll still have a lot of work to do; and I wish we didn’t have to stop for now. I wish we could just keep going, but sadly you’re human and this body that I’m in seems to require human things like sleep and food. And we don’t have any food.”

                “That’s also adding to our crankiness,” Tori agreed. “But I don’t see anything edible around here.”

                “Yeah…”

                “Oh well. Sleep it is!”

…

                “Good morning sleepyhead!” Yami heard from beside him. “I can’t sleep any longer!” Tori said. “So you’ll just have to get up so we can get moving.”

                “Can’t you give a guy a break?” Yami grumbled while he sat up. He paused as he rubbed his eyes. He was still tired, but Tori was right. They needed to get moving. Besides; sleeping was weird. Things were so blank, and he didn’t think he was capable of forming his own dreams so it was an uncomfortable void in time that he didn’t really want more of. He yawned, stood up, and stretched his arms above his head. Tori laughed. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

                “Sorry, sorry; I just thought of something funny,” she said.

                “Well? What is it?”

                “Wouldn’t it be great if we found Akio perfectly okay? And then what would you do? You wouldn’t have to go back.” Tori grinned.

                “Who says I want to stay out here?” he argued.

                “Huh?”

                “Everything’s so annoying out here. It’s loud. It’s bright. There’s too much going on. Why would I want to be out here when I could be back with Akio, where things are quiet and calm? I mean, I live on a beach for crying out loud! I get to see the sunrise and sunset multiple times a day, and though it’s a little lonely Akio comes and sees me every night.” He sighed. “I liked how things were.”

                “Oh. I’m sorry,” Tori said. “Don’t worry. We’ll get Akio back and things can go back to normal for you.” She looked saddened by the fact, and Yami couldn’t fathom why she should be.

                He also couldn’t understand why he was so sad to see her mildly upset. Is this what friendship was? Caring about every little detail in someone’s life, wanting them to be happy and being unhappy if they weren’t? No, that couldn’t be right. Something was off about all of this, but Yami couldn’t put a finger on it. Why was her frown so devastating? Why did he want to make her smile that cute smile and laugh that cute laugh more than anything right now, anything to get the sorrow out of her eyes? “Well, hey; once Akio’s back you guys can go back to normal too; though I don’t think that’s what Akio wants, and I don’t know about you…” This wasn’t working. “I wonder what the weather’s like back on your world?” he offered a subject change.

                That made her giggle. “You’re trying to distract me, aren’t you?” she asked. “Okay, I’ll try to cheer up. Everything will be fine once we find Akio! For everyone!” She grinned. “And you know what; if we can do it together without anyone’s help, it will prove that I’m strong enough to come along on any journeys they take! I’m sure I could convince my parents that it’s okay. I can get them to agree to anything.”

                “Hmm, wouldn’t have taken you for manipulative,” he pointed out.

                “Manipulative?” she protested. “What do you mean?”

                “Well, what else would you call getting people to do things your way when they’d rather do otherwise?” he asked. “I mean, you’ve got to admit that it’s manipulating people, even if not in the negative context that is usually implied.”

                She opened and closed her mouth several times. “You’re right,” she finally said with a sigh. “Why hadn’t I thought of that? It’s wrong…” There was that frown again.

                “I should just shut up and start walking,” he said. “That way I stop making you sad all over again.”

                “You don’t need to shut up!” Tori said. “You’re only saying what you’re thinking. It’s kind of nice! Sometimes the truth is uncomfortable. I’d rather you be honest.”

                Yami shrugged. He looked around. “What direction were we walking before we slept?” he wondered. “Everything looks so much the same…”

                “I think we were walking towards another rock,” she guessed, “and that’s the only one I see anywhere nearby.”

                “Right.” He started walking. It was so funny, really, how things were turning out. He really liked Tori from the moment Akio met her, it was so strange that he was traveling with her now. She was so inexperienced, but she made up for it with enthusiasm. It was just nice to not be alone…

                He was so used to being alone that one would have thought he would rather be that way now, but in this strange world that he wasn’t used to, having someone there to have his back was very comforting to say the least. Reality was a strange thing, and he was glad that he didn’t have to go through it on his own. He looked back to make sure she was close behind and smiled. It was so nice to have her around.

                “Say Yami,” she began, “what do you think about ‘Solace?’ Only heard his speech; I didn’t see him take Akio.”

                “You weren’t watching that far back?” Yami wondered.

                “No. I was going to stay with the ship, but then everyone was gone for so long that I got worried,” she said. “I guess it was for good reason, but I should have known they wouldn’t want me to try to help them. You on the other hand were really nice about it, not making me go away while trying to keep me safe and hidden from them so they didn’t protest. I’m glad that you were around to do the talking.”

                “I aim to please,” he joked. He shook his head. “As far as Solace goes, he’s bad news, and he’s terrifying. I’d rather to have never met him. I imagine all of us would have preferred never to run into the bozo.”

                “He was pretty scary,” she admitted. “All of that talk about the ‘Soul Spear’ and how it was going to destroy Akio was frightening. I don’t want anything to do with that guy. I’ll be glad when we get Akio back from him.”

                Yami nodded. “But I’m more worried about the ‘Soul Spear’ than I am about Solace. A weapon that destroys hearts… including the heart of the user. I just hope Akio’s okay and that the spear hasn’t done any permanent damage. I can help fix a lot, but there has to be something left to mend.”

                “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?” Tori worried. “He’s okay, right? You can feel him?”

                Yami paused. “Barely,” he said. “I can barely feel him there at all, and the feeling wavers. Sometimes it’s strong for brief moments, and then it’s gone. His heart remains, but for how much longer?”

                Tori looked terrified. “You really think that could happen? That he could be destroyed?”

                “I don’t know,” Yami admitted, “but we have to keep it in mind that it could happen. Promise me something; if I disappear, you’ll go find the others.”

                “Yami? You aren’t going to disappear,” she protested.

                “Promise me!” he pressed. “I don’t want you to get hurt, and you don’t know how to fully protect yourself! You can in a pinch, but for the long term, you need help! That’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

                “I…” She looked him in the eye and obviously didn’t like what she saw there. She swallowed. “Okay Yami. I promise,” she said. “But nothing’s going to happen to you!”

                “You can’t be sure of that,” Yami said. “And you have to be okay, no matter what happens, capische? I don’t matter. I’m not a full person. But you? You’re everything that I could never be. You’re whole.”

                “You have to be okay too!” Tori argued. “It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a full person; there are people who care about you, like me! You can’t give up!”

                “I haven’t given up,” Yami grumbled. “I just am trying to have a backup plan. There’s no telling what will happen to me if something happens to Akio. There’s just no way to know what would happen, and we have no way to know if something is going to happen or not.” He shook his head. “I thought I told you not to get attached.”

                Tori gritted her teeth. “And I thought I told you not to tell me what to do!”

                Yami crossed his arms and laughed. Apparently that was his current way of filtering emotions, and, well, it was a little less embarrassing. “Sure, sure. I’m not telling you what to do. I thought you wanted my opinions?”

                Tori paused and tried to look at his face. “Wait, I’ve upset you again, haven’t I?” she worried.

                He shook his head. “No, it’s not you,” he said, though admitting that something was wrong. “Just everything again. The worry, the fear, the looming loneliness. I honestly hope that if something happens to Akio that I go too. I’m not cut out for all of this.”

                “He wouldn’t want that, though,” Tori disagreed. “No one would like that.”

                “Well, I wouldn’t be around to not like it, now would I?” he said. “Don’t worry about it; it’s not happening yet, and hopefully it won’t. Let’s just keep moving.”

                Tori sighed and followed.


	16. Solace Arc: Chapter 10

Chapter 10

(Haru)

                Still no sign of anything more. Still no sign of Akio or any sign of Yami. How were they supposed to keep going on like this in a world with no sense of direction?

                Something occurred to Haru as they were settling in for the night. All of this happening with Solace and Akio’s disappearance had distracted them. What had they come to this world for in the first place? Wait… They were already looking for someone, but who? “Hey…” he started when they had settled down. “Who were we looking for; before all of this happened?”

                They all looked up in surprise; it seemed to be as he expected. All of their priorities had moved to their child. Riku blinked a few times. “We were looking for Mickey, Donald, and Goofy.”

                “Right,” Haru was reminded. “I remember now; the ones that Queen Minnie asked Akio and I to look for.” He paused. “Say, we mainly need to look for Akio, I know; he’s the one in harm’s way at the moment, and to be blunt, to me at least, he’s more important anyway. But… Shouldn’t we be keeping our eyes out for the others too as we search?” Haru asked. That was what Akio would do… Ugh, he needed to stop that. But it was right, just like Akio usually was.

                Kairi shook her head. “I mean, if we run across them, then great; but like you said, Akio’s the one in danger right now. And—“

                “Akio’s just a kid,” Riku added. “The others can take care of themselves if they are able too. And since Origin’s the one who held them, and Origin’s gone—“

                “They might already be out and trying to find out where they are. They might wander upon us eventually for all we know,” Sora continued. “They’d want us to focus on Akio right now.” But they all looked a bit guilty; like they couldn’t believe they had forgotten.

                “I wasn’t mentioning it to get you guys down,” Haru apologized. “I legitimately didn’t pay attention to why we were leaving in the first place; I was too out of it,” he admitted. “Besides, maybe they’ll find us; and maybe they can help us.”

 

(Akio?)

                Things were so fuzzy… He couldn’t feel his body. But he opened his eyes, or at least, he tried to. Nothing felt right, but someone was here. _“Hello?”_ he tried to say. _“Who’s there?”_

                “Is he alright?” someone asked.

                “There’s nothing physically wrong,” a duck-like voice said.

                “Fellas, we need to try to get him out of there,” a third voice added. “He’s unconscious, and that doesn’t look like a safe place to be.”

                He finally managed to open his eyes. Huh. Was that a duck, a mouse, and a dog? That was weird… who would have thought. The people they had been looking for, right here in front of him.

                Another voice whispered in the back of his mind. _Kill them,_ it ordered. Huh? Who was it? He wasn’t going to kill them. He was supposed to help them!

                He felt like he was moving, and his vision moved too. His body was limp, but he felt something in his hands… He glanced over numbly. A… a spear? The spear… the one that had stabbed him earlier! Why would he have that with him? Why wouldn’t the man from earlier have it? And… why was his body moving without his permission?

                “He’s moving,” the one who was presumably Donald said warily. “But that magic…”

                “That’s not him moving himself; he’s still unconscious,” King Mickey said.

                “Say, kid; are you okay?” Goofy asked.

                _Kill them_ , the voice repeated. The spear moved to face them, and Akio suddenly knew how dire the situation was, whether he understood what was happening or not. He had enough control to do a final thing. “RUN!” he screamed to them. He saw a bright light in front of him. “Please! Run!” he begged.

                He saw them back up. “He’s being controlled!” Donald said.

                King Mickey saw the spear then. “That spear…” He shook his head. “You heard him. Run!” They got out of the way just as a bright beam came from in front of Akio.

                _How dare you defy me,_ the voice said. _Human… How dare you defy my wishes? How are you so strong? How are you awake?_

                Akio couldn’t respond. The light got too bright… and everything turned blank.

…

_There was a book in front of him on a table in a plain white room. Akio looked around. He knew there was no other choice but to open it._

_He read on the first page he turned to: “The Soul Spear. A weapon of terrible destruction and power, created from the light in people’s hearts meant to drive the darkness away. But the darkness belongs in people’s hearts; it is not meant to be erased. Hearts are made of light and darkness, much as the worlds themselves. Without one, the other cannot exist.” There was an illustration; the spear that Akio had seen. “But the Soul Spear developed a mind of its own. It sook only to fulfill that one purpose; destroy the darkness. But when one destroys the darkness in someone’s heart, the light is destroyed too. There cannot be one without the other.”_

_He turned the page. “And the Spear controlled the hands of man. Entire worlds were wiped out under its rule. With each darkness gone was a snuffed out light, until the spear became so powerful it was taken away.”_

_“No one knows what happened to the spear, but only a heart of pure light can have any hope of overcoming its power, if only for a moment. In that moment, one must act… What decision they make could only be one. Run far away from the weapon, worlds away, and hope it does not follow. Leave it behind, and it may one day become someone else’s problem. Sometimes self-preservation must overcome all else. If the spear should be destroyed, so shall the heart of the user.”_

_Suddenly there was a strong wind and the pages of the book blew away until one tiny scrap of paper remained. He snatched it from the air and turned it over in his hands. It read: “Sometimes only a light can overcome a light. That is a choice that must be made.”_

_Akio stuffed the paper into his pocket as he felt the world swirling around him. He got the feeling that this was the last chance he’d ever have to think, and he could only think one thing… a choice: “I can’t let it hurt anyone. No matter what happens… I have to stop it.”_

 

 

(Yami)

                “Eh? That’s weird,” Yami said as they approached a crater of sorts. “That looks new.”

                Tori came over beside him. “What in the world?” she asked. “It’s still smoldering. What do you think happened?”

                Yami studied it cautiously. A searing heat still came from the hole in the ground. He couldn’t see how far the hole went in the diagonal path; but he knew that something very powerful had made it. “I have no idea what could have happened; my guess is some kind of magic… I wonder if that means we’re on the right track.”

                Tori looked nervous. “You think that this is the right way? Towards possible danger?”

                “Things tend to work out that way. The more problems you run into the more likely you’re on the right track,” Yami said. “And we haven’t run into any real problems; and I wouldn’t really consider this a problem, maybe just a warning to be cautious.”

                “And we will be careful, right?” Tori asked. “No getting injured for my sake, okay?”

                “Same for you, capische?” Yami countered. “Now let’s just keep going! The sooner we find him the better.”

                “Right!” Tori agreed.

                They walked in silence. It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t particularly comforting either. Yami wished that there was something to talk about. He wished that he knew what was going to happen so that he could tell her what to expect. She was so nervous all of the sudden. Yes, seeing that magic could do something like that must have been a shock, but why did it seem like she had been unfazed until then? “Say Tori… Why do you look so worried? Things are going to be okay, capische? I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

                Tori nodded and tried to smile. “I know that. But it’s just so strange. I didn’t realize just how dangerous this was until I saw that pit. If magic created that, could my magic cause similar destruction if improperly used? That’s what worries me. I don’t want to make a mistake and end up hurting someone.”

                Yami shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. I haven’t taught you any spells that are that powerful. You should be safe. That’s nothing to worry about.” He smiled. “And you know what, even if you did know something that strong, the desire not to use it is enough to stop something from going wrong very easily. You’d be cautious. You’d be ready to defend yourself and others if something went haywire.”

                Tori grinned. “You’re the best, you know that?”

                “No, I’m really not,” he disagreed. The truth of the matter is that he was feeling more and more guilty for what had happened to Akio, but at least he wasn’t crying about it anymore. “You know, I never knew just how much I could feel, and I’m still getting used to that. If I’m doing good with keeping things in line and not being rude, I have to say I’m surprised.”

                “Well, the more time that passes the better you seem to get at the art of conversation,” Tori agreed. “I think you feel a lot more things than you believe you do, and I imagine you’re having to come to terms with that.”

                “You’d be right,” he said. “I had no idea just how much I had the capacity to feel, but I know that I’m glad to be with you.” She really did make him happy. When she smiled he wanted to smile, when she laughed he wanted to laugh; when she frowned, he wanted to cry. They had a bond of some kind, one that had formed quickly over the past few days. He didn’t know if she felt the same connection, but he knew that for him, it made things a lot easier.

                “I’m glad to be with you too, Yami. I’m glad that you didn’t make me go home that first time I showed my face. I’m glad that you understood that I just wanted adventure and that maybe I could help you find Akio. I’m so happy that I got to meet you… I just wish it could have happened a different way.”

                “It couldn’t have,” Yami said with a shake of his head. “If this hadn’t happened, I never would have left Akio. And I don’t consider it to be a good thing; maybe a positive side effect of something terrible, but I wish that none of this had ever happened. I wish that Akio was safe and sound. I mean, it was nice to be able to meet you, but I know it’s not worth it.”

                “I wish nothing bad had happened to Akio too, but I do think that it was worth meeting you,” she said. “I mean, if I never would have gotten to meet you, I think there’d be a lot left out of my life.”

                The fluttery feeling that had been in Yami’s chest this entire ordeal stopped for a brief moment as his breath slowed. That was such a touching thing to say. After a moment, he returned to breathing and the fluttering resumed, but his face was hot and he didn’t know what was happening. Was he…? Was this _blushing?_ And why? “I—I guess that it’s cool that I got to meet you personally and not just through Akio, and maybe it was worth it… I mean, I don’t think it was, but who knows? If Akio turns out to be fine, maybe it was okay.”

                Tori tried to catch a glimpse of his face, but he turned his head away. “Are you blushing?” she teased.

                “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Am I?”

                “You are!” she said with a laugh. “You’re adorable!”

                His face felt even hotter. “No I’m not,” he disagreed. “How am I supposed to stop this whole ‘blushing’ thing?”

                “You don’t know how?”

                “Well, I’ve never blushed before!”

                Tori laughed for a moment before shaking her head when he glared. “It will pass on its own,” she said. “Blushing is nothing to be embarrassed about; that will only make it worse.”

                “Oh.” Yami looked away. “Sorry. Yet another thing I don’t understand.”

                “It’s okay,” Tori assured. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll stop teasing you.”

                “…Thanks.”

                He heard her mutter something along the lines of, “How can someone be so adorable?” He tried to ignore it. Tori thought he was adorable. Why did that make him happy? Adorable was a compliment, right? But Akio always took it for an insult… Yami didn’t feel insulted.

                “Thanks for being so understanding,” he said to her after a moment. “I know that you laughed at me for a moment, but you weren’t making fun of me. Thanks for helping me through that kind of thing.”

                Tori smiled. “You’re welcome. You’re a cool guy, Yami; just a bit confused is all.”

                “Yeah, well, I’m trying to learn what I need to survive until I can get back to Akio; some of the stuff I never would have thought of.” He crossed his arms. “I mean, who would have thought there was so much to emotions and conversations that was so vital for such a short amount of time? I thought I’d be okay with just whatever I wanted to say or do since I wouldn’t have to face the eventual consequences, but I really do care what people think.”

                “That’s part of what makes you a person,” she said. He opened his mouth to protest, but she continued. “I know that you’re going to say that you’re not a person, and I don’t want to get into an argument about it, so I’ll change my wording. It makes you a conscious entity with thoughts and feelings. Without those thoughts and feelings, you’d be nothing but the darkness that you came from. No one can look human if they don’t have human traits; at least, that’s what I think.”

                “Hmm; you’re right. I am like that. It makes a lot of sense, really.” He sighed. “It’s so much easier to be around you than Akio’s people; I don’t understand why. I mean, I’m not used to you, so it makes no sense! But you’re just so much easier to talk to.”

                “I aim to please.”

                Yami smiled. “Thanks for everything,” he told her. “I’ll miss you when I can’t see you anymore.”

                Tori started to frown but turned it into a smile. “You’re welcome; I hope that somehow, we can always find a way to see each other again.”

                Yami smiled and looked away. “Me too,” was all he said. Part of him wanted to tell her about his ability to go between dreams, but the other part didn’t. Why get her anticipating something that might never be able to happen again in the first place? The truth was, even if they could get Akio back, too much damage had already been done for him to be absent in the first place, let alone for this long and with additional damage from being torn away. Yami had been all that held Akio’s heart together anymore, and now that he had been gone, well… He didn’t know how much longer Akio might have.

 

(Haru)

                Haru stumbled over a rock and almost fell into a crater in the ground. “What in the world?” he wondered as the others caught up. “What do you think this is?”

                Kairi walked over to it. “It’s still hot… something must have made it.” She looked around. “I don’t see anything though.”

                Riku looked around. “It could have been magic,” he said.

                “Whatever it was, let’s get away from it,” Sora suggested. “It looks pretty dangerous.”

                “But what if there’s something in it?” Haru wondered.

                “We can come back later,” Kairi said. “In the meantime it’s too dangerous.”

                Haru crossed his arms in frustration and followed them as they walked away. He glanced back at the crater. Had Akio been here? Or Yami? There was no way to know. They weren’t there now, but… maybe they were on the right track.


	17. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

(Yami)

                They had reached another rock outcropping, and Yami was tired. He looked over at Tori, who paused and stretched. She looked exhausted too. He wondered how she was feeling about this whole journey now. Was she scared? Was she just tired of it all? She had started out so enthusiastically, but now he had to wonder if it was getting to be too much.

                “Let’s stop for the night—or whatever time of day it is,” Yami suggested. “I think we’re both pretty tired.”

                “But we haven’t gone that far today!” Tori argued. “Shouldn’t we go a little further?”

                “I don’t see any more rocks anywhere near here. There’s no telling how far we’ll have to go to find another solid surface. We should stop while we still can,” Yami explained. “I don’t want to get lost, and if we keep going while tired, that could happen.”

                “Aren’t we already lost?” Tori asked. “I have no clue where we are.”

                “Uh…” Yami shrugged. “Maybe? I think the ship’s in that general direction.” He gestured. “But other than that, I’ll admit that I’m not really sure. For all I know we could have been walking in circles this entire time. I’m not the best navigator. I’ve never had to be.”

                Tori sighed. “Great. Just great.”

                “Sorry.” He plopped down on the ground. “There are no real landmarks. All of the rocks look the same.”

                “I wasn’t trying to complain. I’m sorry,” Tori apologized. “I’m not mad at you,” she assured, knowing how easily he became upset at the possibility of someone being angry at him.

                Yami shook his head. “Just sit down. We’ve been walking for a very long time, even if not as long as we had previous days. We need a break.”

                Tori sat down next to him. She shivered. “It’s kind of cold for these Destiny Islands clothes.”

                Yami looked down at his sleeve at the black sweater that he was wearing. It made him wonder; did he share Akio’s scars? If he didn’t, then he could offer her to sweater. He rolled up the sleeve quickly to see and there was nothing there. That was strange, but maybe not so much. Akio lacked the scars in the realm of his dreams. It made sense. He took off the sweater. “Here,” he offered. He noticed that he also wasn’t quite as thin as Akio was; another side effect of matching the dreams rather than reality.

                She looked at it a few times before taking it and wrapping herself with it. “Thanks. But now you’re going to get cold.”

                “Nah. Don’t worry about it.” He looked out over the horizon. There was nothing to be seen. “You know, Akio’s sweater means a lot to him, but that one means nothing to me. His sweater and the one before it were a symbol of his world, but for me, that’s just a garment.”

                “Oh,” Tori said in lack of any other response.

                They fell into silence, but there was a feeling of peace. Perhaps a calm before the storm, Yami thought, but if that were the case, they were going the right direction. Maybe this was a chance for them to reset their minds to be clearer for a new day.

                He was worried about Tori; he didn’t know how much she could take. He didn’t know how long she could go without food or water. He needed to be found now; he knew that. As much as he’d rather not be around the others, with all their loud chattering and pressure, he knew that Tori needed them, and Tori wasn’t going anywhere unless he came along with her.

                He hoped it wouldn’t take too much longer. He didn’t want Tori to become ill.

                “Let’s try to get some sleep,” Yami suggested. “We don’t have much food energy to run on, after all.”

                Tori nodded and laid down on the ground and turned over, and if Yami wasn’t imagining it, she sniffed the sweater and smiled. He shrugged it off and laid down too, rolling over and closing his eyes to try to sleep.

…

                Yami sat straight up. He sensed something… Something nearby when he hadn’t sensed anything at all before. The pounding in his chest sped up and he knew he was afraid. Why would someone be near?

                But then he sensed the energy more closely and it was something familiar. He calmed down. It was a certain group of people in the distance, and, well… he really needed them to catch up, as much as he loved to be alone with Tori, without any of their idiot comments or needless chattering. Tori needed them. “They’re coming,” he said calmly as he gently shook Tori to wake her up.

                She sat up quickly. “Who?”

                “Akio’s family,” he explained. “Sora. Kairi. Riku. Haru. They’re getting close now, I can feel it.”

                They were both _so_ tired and they had no luck finding any trace of Solace or Akio. It wasn’t fair. But at least now that they were pursued, it was by the good guys. Tori sighed. “I can’t walk another step,” she said. “We’ve had no luck. Can’t we wait for them? I know you don’t like them, but…”

                Yami nodded. “No problem. I’m tired too. We haven’t found anything other than that crater. Maybe they have.”

                “Can I…” she started to say. She was blushing. “Can I keep the sweater?” she timidly asked.

                Yami thought nothing of it. “Sure,” he said. He was wondering why she would be blushing, but he had no idea why it would be. And what was this feeling that made the fluttering in his chest change to a lighter feeling, that made him want to smile so much. What was it? Was it—

                “It’s been nice.” Tori smiled. “Just you and me traveling. You’re a cool guy, Yami. I wish that it wasn’t like this. I know from what you said, when you find Akio you have to go back to him. I’d like to spend more time with you.” She wrapped the sweater more tightly around herself.

                Oh. Was it that? “Before they catch up, there’s something I feel like I should tell you. I don’t think we’ll have another private moment.”

                “Hmm?” She looked worried.

                “Nothing bad,” he promised. “It’s just that…” He looked down. “Before recently I wasn’t at all human. And after that, it was a while before I had any emotions other than anger and hatred; I know we’ve talked about it.”

                “Right. You said you were so worried to be away with Akio, worried about his family, and that you were happy to be with me,” Tori acknowledged.

                “Well, here’s the thing. I don’t understand just how much I can feel,” he said. “But…” He felt his face heat up. “I don’t understand, but I think I might love you, Tori,” he finally said; he couldn’t look up at her for a moment, but when he finally did she was just staring. “Oh. Wait.” He laughed. “I shouldn’t be able to love. I’m not really anything at all.”

                “Yami…?”

                “So I guess… just remember that there’s a little piece of someone who loves you, capische?” He grinned. “We may never see each other again when I get back to Akio… but you know, whether I should be able to love you or not… I’m pretty sure I do.”

                Tori’s smile was brighter than he had ever seen. “Yami, I don’t think I quite understand all this stuff about you not being a full person, and I disagree with that no matter how much you have told me.” She paused. “But I think… I think that I love you too. And I hope that somehow, we get to see each other again.”

                Yami laughed dully. “Well, aren’t we quite the pair.” He moved closer to her and hugged her. She hugged back briefly before letting go. “I hear them now.”

                Tori nodded. “I hear them too.”

                First it was one person who appeared in the distance then three more followed. Yami sighed and shook his head, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

                He could tell when they were spotted because one of the people started running faster and passed the others. Kairi came into clear sight before the others. “Yami?” she shouted as she got closer.

                Yami stood up and waved. He offered a hand to help Tori to her feet. She sighed but took it.

                “Yami, you’re safe!” Kairi said in relief as she made it close. She looked over at Tori as she came to a stop. “Wait, Tori?”

                “Hi,” Tori said sheepishly.

                “Tori, what are you doing here?” Haru worried when he caught up along with the others.

                “Well…” She took a breath. “When I first showed myself to you guys after you were done talking to Solace and stuff, Yami didn’t make me go home,” she explained. “He put me on recon. Once he had the fight with you guys, he grabbed me and has been teaching me to fight ever since.”

                “What she said,” Yami said.

                Haru looked at Yami and rubbed the back of his head. “I guess I should apologize,” he admitted. Yami raised an eyebrow but listened. “I’m sorry, Yami. I misspoke. I was kind of a jerk whether I meant to be or not. I was—“

                “Apology accepted,” Yami interrupted. He still didn’t like Haru, but if he had the ability to apologize, maybe he didn’t hate him as much as he had feared. “And if there’s any reason that I should apologize, I’m sorry too.” He shrugged. If Haru could apologize, he could accept it.

                “That’s… not really an apology,” Haru said.

                “Oh well.” Yami grinned.

                “Hey! I can fight now! I can even do a few spells!” Tori protested. “Do you need proof?”

                “Don’t make her leave,” Yami said. “She’s cool, and she’s a quick learner.”

                Kairi looked at Riku and Sora for an opinion. “It won’t hurt for her to come along,” Sora decided.

                “You know for yourself that untrained fighters aren’t useless,” Riku added.

                Kairi slowly nodded. “Your parents are going to kill us if anything happens to you,” she said.

                “Well nothing will!” Tori assured. “I can take care of myself, and even if I couldn’t, Yami promised to protect me!”

                “Well, what are we waiting for?” Haru asked. “We should go!”

                Yami laughed. “The idiot’s right for once,” he said. He paused. “…Sorry. I shouldn’t call you that,” he apologized. “It’s habit.”

                Haru frowned but sighed. “It’s okay. I was being one a while back.”

                “Oh?” Yami was surprised that he was admitting it. Maybe Haru could change. Maybe he was capable of it just like anyone else. “Well, um… Cheer up then!” he suggested. It was so odd for Haru not to be smiling.

                Haru laughed. “I’ll try.”

                “Oh, um…” Tori spoke up. “Would you guys happen to have any food? It has been quite a while since I ate anything,” she asked.

                Kairi hurriedly pulled her backpack off of her back. “Of course! I’m so sorry I didn’t think of that once we found you guys!”

                “It’s okay,” Tori said. “Thank you for having some though. I’m starving!”

                Yami was so relieved that Tori was getting the help she so needed and deserved that he couldn’t provide. It was so great that they had been found. He could deal with Haru for Tori, especially now that he had gotten an apology and had time for his emotions to fall into a better and less turbulent place. He could manage this. He’d do his best to do anything if it would help Tori.

                Just like he’d do his best to do anything if it would help Akio.

                “So not much has happened on our end,” Yami said. “What about you guys? Have you found anything out?”

                “We’ve run into Solace a couple of times,” Haru said. “He’s told us some weird stuff about that spear; the Soul Spear.”

                “Well? Spill it!” Yami said.

                They all explained the best they could while Tori ate, but it still left Yami confused. “I don’t get it; I get that Akio’s heart is pure light; I mean, how else would I be here?” He paused. “And I understand that this spear his to be held by someone whose heart is pure light. But… What is it doing to Akio?” He could hardly feel Akio anymore. He was still there but barely, and he didn’t know for how much longer.

                “I don’t know,” Sora admitted.

                “Hey Yami,” Haru said. “Solace said something about your heart being separate—“

                “I don’t have a heart, doofus—sorry. I forgot. No name calling.” Yami shook his head. “Whatever he said is a lie and not worth talking about.”

                Tori perked up though. “Solace said Yami’s heart is separate?”

                “Yeah, and—“

                “Drop it, guys. Let’s get going.” He stood up and started walking. “Are you coming or not?” he asked.

                “Wait,” Tori said as realization crossed her face. “You were just going to drop me off with them and go off on your own!”

                “Uh, no, that wasn’t actually the plan,” Yami argued. “But I’m not going to wait for you guys to talk nonsense about me!”

                “Wait, Yami,” Sora said calmly. “We’ll come along.”

                “Good.” Yami nodded. “Let’s go.” He looked at Haru and Tori. “And stop talking about stuff that doesn’t matter. I don’t have a heart. Solace was wrong. And even if I did have a heart, I have a job to do and I’m not sticking around, capische?”

                Tori frowned, but nodded. Yami felt a negative feeling in his chest. Crap. He had upset her. But he was right. He wasn’t going to take it back. He loved her, but he wasn’t going to change for her. If he did that—well, then he’d be going against his own advice, and that’s a stupid thing to do.


	18. Solace Arc: Chapter 12

Chapter 12

(Haru)

                Haru didn’t know what was going to happen now. He was so glad that they had found Yami, though he didn’t know what to think about the addition of Tori to the group. He hadn’t been expecting it at all, and he was apprehensive as to having her traveling with them. What if she got hurt? He didn’t like it, but he knew it wasn’t his decision, and Yami had apparently taken responsibility for her, so…

                But the biggest thing was that he could tell that something was right around the corner…

                And apparently, something literally was. A mouse, a duck, and a dog.

                “King Mickey!” Riku said in surprise.

                “Donald? Goofy?” Sora asked of the other two.

                The trio looked over at them. “Sora! Riku! Kairi!” the dog said. “What’re you guys doing here?”

                “Looking for you,” Kairi said as they left the kids behind to talk to them.

                Yami grabbed Tori and Haru’s arms to hold them back. “What’s up with the weirdo’s?” he asked Haru. “Are they safe?”

                “Well, from the names they’re the people that we left in search for,” Haru said. “I’m surprised that we found them like this though. It’s unexpected.”

                Tori glared at Yami. “Why’d you grab me like that?”

                “I didn’t know what was going on. Sorry!” he let go of her and Haru. “Go on and see those weirdos. I think I’ll stand back and listen.”

                Haru rushed to catch up with the adults. He wanted to see what was going on and listen in on the conversation, maybe say a word or two if it came up.

                “You were looking for us?” King Mickey said.

                “Yes,” Sora said.

                “Well, I don’t really know how long we’ve been gone,” Goofy said. “There was this weird guy named Origin who led us here; the one we were looking for. But then everything went blank.”

                “You’ve been missing for a very long time,” Kairi explained. “We had been too; Origin had captured us and held us for more than ten years.”

                “Ten years?” Donald asked in outrage. “How were we gone for ten years?”

                King Mickey looked sad. “Minnie’s got to be so worried.”

                “She is,” Haru interrupted, not wanting to be left out. “When Akio and I talked to her, she told us that.”

                “Who are you?” Donald asked, annoyed.

                Riku laughed. “This is Haru; my son.”

                “But he’s supposed to be a little kid!” Goofy said in surprise.

                “Well, you have been gone for ten years,” Kairi repeated.

                “But if he’s along for the journey, where’s Akio?” Mickey asked nonchalantly.

                Everyone fell silent for a moment before Yami stepped up and spoke up. “Some di—I mean, dude, named Solace showed up and kidnapped him,” Yami explained. “My name’s Yami. I’m the darkness from Akio’s heart. Solace removed me from Akio’s heart and took Akio. We don’t know where, or what’s happened to him since.”

                “Solace said that Akio is being forced to hold a weapon called the Soul Spear—have you seen any sign of him?” Haru asked.

                “A spear?” Donald asked.

                “The Soul Spear,” King Mickey acknowledged. “I was just starting to tell them about what I knew,” he said. “Master Yen Sid told me about it in my training. But it was only a legend.” He sighed. “We saw a boy about Haru’s age in a crater over there holding it,” he pointed into something barely seen in the distance. “But he was being controlled by some kind of magic. He wasn’t conscious.”

                Goofy looked even more worried than he had before under the thought that it could be Sora and Kairi’s son. “He woke up for a minute, but he told us to run; so we did.”

                “We were going to try to come up with some kind of plan,” Donald said. “That’s what we were doing here when you guys showed up.”

                “Right over there?” Kairi said. “You mean we’re headed the right direction?”

                “Unless he’s moved,” Mickey said.

                “Say; how about we split up to search more of an area,” Sora suggested. He looked back at Haru and them. “And I just mean our group and theirs,” he asserted.

                “Sounds like a good idea,” Mickey agreed.

                There was more discussion, but Haru walked over to Yami and Tori. “You guys, did you hear that? We’re close!”

                “Might be close,” Yami said. “Not for sure. We don’t want to get our hopes up too far.”

                “Come on, stop being such a downer,” Tori complained. “Let us be a little hopeful.”

                Yami shrugged. “Fine.” Haru noticed that he looked very distracted. He kept closing his eyes for a moment before shaking his head and looking around cautiously. What was going on with him? Something was wrong.

                “Are you okay?” Haru asked him.

                “Who, me?” Yami asked. “I’m a-okay. We have more important things to worry about.”

                Haru was worried though, and Tori looked worried too. “Yami, you can tell us if something’s wrong,” she told him.

                “I know, I know,” Yami said. “But nothing is wrong, so drop it!” He paused. “Sorry. That came out harsh. Just… don’t worry about it… please.”

                Tori sighed. “I’ll try not to,” she said.

                Haru didn’t want to agree to that, so he was silent.

 

(Yami)

                It had been decided, and the groups headed out on their separate ways. Sora, Riku, Kairi, Haru, Tori, and Yami were all heading towards the crater in hopes that they would find Akio still there. They were walking in silence. What was there to talk about anymore? Yami was moody; something was fuzzy about his head that he was trying ignore to stay optimistic, but it wasn’t really working very well. His chest was even more fluttery, his vision was getting hazy, his head hurt… And he felt like he knew what might be happening.

                He suddenly stopped. He searched for something, something important that had been so weak but he knew it was still there. Something more important than anything. Someone that his soul was chained to. “No…” he whispered as he watched the others move forwards not noticing his halt. He looked around frantically for something, anything. “No…” he said louder.

                Tori noticed his absence and stopped them. “Wait!” she said to them as she turned around. “Yami?” she worried.

                “No…” Yami whispered again as he searched and searched. His vision got hazier; his head hurt worse. The fluttering in his chest came to a sudden halt. This was worse than when Xehanort had taken over. At least then he had a vague inkling that Akio was alright, and he had up until now. But… “No!” he said louder and fell to his knees as all the effort left his body. He curled up into a ball and started crying.

                “Yami, Yami, what’s wrong?” Tori rushed over. The others did too. “Are you hurt?”

                Yami just couldn’t stop it. He put up a barrier when he noticed the waves of darkness begin to ripple off of his body and away from him. He was falling apart… but figuratively and literally. Then tears turned to laughter. “Oh god.” He covered his face tighter. “No…” He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to fade away.

                “Yami, what’s wrong?” Kairi tried to get through the barrier, ignoring the dangerous dark waves. She managed it and put a hand on his shoulder, but it went through.

                “He’s gone.”

                No one breathed. No one moved an inch. “What?” Haru finally asked.

                “He’s gone,” Yami repeated. Everything was numb, everything was silent. He felt very calm. He had said that if Akio faded away, he wanted to too. So why… why did it hurt so bad. Haru opened his mouth again, and he didn’t have the heart to call him a dimwit or an idiot or something of a similar caliber. “I can’t feel Akio anymore.” He stood up and held out his hands. “And look at me: I guess I couldn’t live without him after all.”

                “No, Yami, I’m sure he’s okay!” Tori tried. “Everything’s going to be okay! You promised you’d keep me safe! Remember?”

                Yami shook his head. He wanted to smile for them. He wanted to laugh when he said goodbye to everything… while he faded away like he never wanted to have to do. But he didn’t have the heart to. Ha, the irony there didn’t escape him.

                “I would say ‘see you later’… but I don’t want to lie.” Yami was resigned to his fate. Without Akio… he knew he’d fade away. He had a reason to live now, but it wasn’t enough. But he had one more request. “Find Solace for me. Get revenge. For both of us.”

                “Yami, you promised me we’d find him together!” Tori said in distress. “Come on, he’s okay, and you’re going to be okay too.”

                “Sorry, Tori,” were his last words as he felt the dust of his body blow away with the wind.

(Tori)

                “No! Yami!” Tori cried. “Come back!” She ran over to where he had been, but no trace remained aside from the sweater on her shoulders. Haru rushed over and put a hand on her shoulder. She shoved it off. “Well I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sure as hell getting that revenge,” she decided as she wrapped the sweater closer.

                “Me too!” Haru agreed. There was fire in his eyes in a way that Tori had never seen. Haru _had_ cared about Yami, just like she had told him. If only he could have seen…

                “It’s not about revenge,” Sora interrupted as they all came closer. “We have to stop Solace from reaching his goal of the Soul Spear taking Akio over, and the spear from whatever its intentions are.”

                Kairi nodded. “Besides; there’s probably no reason for revenge,” she denied. “I’m sure they’re both fine.”

                Riku put a hand on her shoulder but shook his head. “Whatever happens, Tori, Haru; this can’t be for revenge. We can’t allow ourselves to follow those dark thoughts.”

                “But what else is it?” Tori wondered. “If not revenge, then what do we call it? Why do we follow through if it’s not for that reason?” She shook her head and pulled her staff from her back. “I’m not like you guys. I don’t have a Keyblade; I don’t have some code of ethics to follow. My heart doesn’t have to be pure light.” She zipped the sweater up so it didn’t fall off as she experimentally swung the staff. “If I’m not fighting for Yami, and if Akio’s gone, why fight at all?”

                Haru stood next to her and looked at them all. “Well? Do you have an answer?” He shook his head. “Fine. I’ll try not to look at it as revenge, but I don’t understand what the point is anymore. Solace is bad news; I get that. And this Soul Spear is even worse. We have to stop them for the sake of the worlds, right? That’s what you’re going to say. Well… Maybe that’s not enough for me! So what if revenge is darkness? You can’t stop me from feeling this anger; this hatred for the person and thing that caused all of this to happen! To deny those emotions… Wouldn’t that bring me closer to the darkness instead?”

                Tori stared at Haru. Those were words that she’d never have expected to come from him. That determination. That passion; all of that because of Akio and Yami. Something had changed in Haru on this journey, and this was when it all came into place. And those adults; those supposed Keyblade ‘Masters’ didn’t seem to understand. Surely there was something going through their heads along the same lines as the fire burning in her soul. Surely they were going to fight for their son; surely they felt some kind of reasoning that made this personal!

                Kairi sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it to you,” she told them. “And I don’t think these two do either. It’s a lesson that has to be learned on your own. Revenge; we can fight for the people we love without it being for revenge.”

                “Revenge is dark; revenge is for no purpose of good,” Riku explained. “Revenge isn’t what we’re getting. Yes, we’re fighting for them, but not for that sole purpose. That is what you have to understand.”

                Tori slowly pulled the strings tighter on the hoodie to try to keep it on better; it was even larger on her than it had been on Yami. “I think I sort of understand,” Tori said. “So I won’t call it revenge. Deal? It’s the same thing, but without the word. That’s the best I can do.”

                Haru sighed and relaxed his muscles. He looked down; he said nothing.

                “But if we do any fighting, you need to stand back,” Sora told Tori. “You don’t know how to fight. We don’t want you to get hurt. No one would.”

                “Hey!” Tori argued. “I know how to use this thing to fight!” She held up the staff. “Yami taught me the physics of swinging it around! I might not have used it in battle, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use it!”

                Haru elbowed her and whispered, “Just agree with it, we’ll get moving faster.”

                Tori glared at him but sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay back and be the stupid ‘healer’ like a good little girl,” she mocked.

                “No one said it like that!” Kairi said.

                Tori closed them out and resumed walking towards the crater. Haru followed. Tori stopped and looked back at the staring adults. “I thought you guys were coming too,” she said. “We aren’t going to wait for you.”

                The Masters all looked very frustrated, but they followed, knowing that this was neither the time nor the place for an argument.


	19. Solace Arc: Chapter 13

Chapter 13

(Akio?)

                He was waking up again. Somehow he was waking up again. He slowly opened his eyes and saw someone familiar but whom he didn’t quite recognize. _Solace,_ he heard the voice in his head say fondly.

                He felt his body moving under the spear’s control; yes, he knew now that it had to be the spear itself that was controlling him. This time it wasn’t like he was being manipulated by magic. It was his own muscles moving, his own body reacting to some kind of stimuli being created by the weapon in question. The voice; it was the Soul Spear. And it didn’t seem to realize that he was there at all anymore.

                He saw something in the distance, a line that seemed to be growing closer. As it come into vision, Akio saw that it was people; four people to be exact, and perhaps someone in the distance behind. They had come for him. His parents, and Riku and Haru. They had come to find him, but now it was too late. He had no control anymore. He couldn’t even look around the large empty expanse or see the rock outcropping beyond what was currently in sight.

                _“No!”_ Akio tried to scream as he became aware of what was going to happen. No voice came from his mouth or even into his mind. _“You can’t make me do this!”_

                It didn’t seem like anyone heard, and he knew what the Soul Spear intended.

                He tried to stop his body from moving again, but he had no control left. It was gone. Maybe he should just give up.

                He was alone this time. Yami was gone, and he couldn’t feel him anymore. Had Solace destroyed him? Was he really gone?

                “I’m sure you all remember,” Solace said, “why I have chosen Akio for the Soul Spear to use.”

                “Solace!” Haru growled.

                “The answer is simple,” the man continued. “The spear only works under the power of the light. He has always had this power; this strength through it all. The determination to keep going when all seemed lost even through a fractured heart. He never lost hope, no matter how close he had come. He chose to be strong. But now… Now he has no choice left.” Akio tried to scream again but failed. “Your Akio is gone now; not a fragment of him remains, not even that entity of darkness I shoved out of him. That should be proof enough.”

                “You’re wrong!” Kairi protested. “Akio’s okay!”

                “Of course you’d say that, princess. If he wasn’t, then you would have failed as a mother. You would have all failed in your roles.” Solace sniggered. “You were supposed to protect him and if he’s gone you haven’t. You don’t want to believe that, so you live a lie instead.” Akio kept trying to fight the influence of the spear, but failed. The spear was silent. It had no reason to think.

                “Your Akio…” Solace continued. “Your dear friend, child… he is gone now. He had no choice left, and when that choice faded, so did he. Not a fragment remains.”

                “What did you do to him?” Sora demanded.

                “Hmm,” Solace hummed. “I have done nothing. It is the spear that has caused these facts to be.” Solace laughed. “And now it will surely do what would have caused him to suffer.”

                There was giddy laughter in the back of his mind, and Akio felt his body being pulled forward, his limbs acting on their own accord. He could move his eyes as the spear did not need them, but no one would catch a glimpse of his terror. The Soul Spear was in his hand; his muscles were ready to tense.

                “It will start with the one he holds most dear; likely it will be Haru, but who knows?” Solace shrugged. “That’s up to the spear to decide.”

                _“No!”_ Akio tried to scream as he tried to fight it, but he was soon lunging towards the general direction of Haru. The spear… the Soul Spear. It ate the souls, the hearts of the living. It was a weapon of terrible destruction and power and it was using his body as a tool. A weapon of light being used for ‘dark’ means of its own creation… Akio remembered one thing. He had to stop it! Now that he was aware again, surely he could! The spear had yet to notice him!

                Sora blocked the attack with his Keyblade. “Akio! Snap out of it!” Sora begged.

                Akio was trying, but he wasn’t going to waste energy attempting words. But he saw Sora’s eyes meet his and Sora could see it; the terror. Akio fought the control to no avail. He wouldn’t hurt them!

                Sora’s guard faltered at the expression and—

                “Stop!” Akio heard an unexpected voice scream as a plain wooden staff shoved its way between Keyblade and spear. Tori glared up at him. “Akio… if you’re in there, you have to snap out of it!” Akio felt the spear’s frustration as it adjusted its aim. “The Akio I know would never hurt anyone he cared about!” she roared. “And unlike them, I will not hesitate to fight someone just because they look like him. The Akio I know would be willing to die to save his friends! I will not hold back!”

                “Tori, what the hell are you doing?” Sora snapped as he tried to grab her by the shoulder and shove her behind him. “You’re not a fighter! You have no real weapon, you have—“

                The spear was furious, and Akio could not fight it.

                Tori blocked another attack from hitting the distracted Keyblade Masters. She shoved the spear back, swinging the staff to push it way from her body. The spear slipped from Akio’s grasp, and Tori held the staff to his throat. “So what’s it going to be, punk?” She glared daggers. “I bet you weren’t expecting that!”

                “What the hell?” Solace growled. “Who is this girl?”

                “The name’s Tori!” she shouted without averting her gaze. “I’m the ace in the hole that no one expected!”

                “Regardless, it does not matter!” Solace glanced warily at the spear on the ground.

                The spear was gone. Akio didn’t take time to think the moment he got control back of his body. He only acted. He turned and rushed for the spear, stumbling along the way and having to catch himself, Tori hot on his heels. He saw Riku grab her around her waist and pull her back. “Let me go!” she demanded as she punched at Riku. “You aren’t going to fight him! I will!”

                Akio reached the spear and picked it up. Solace smiled triumphantly… But as the spear laughed, Akio took it in both hands. He snapped it over his knee. “What?” Solace gasped. “What did he just do?”

                The spear let out one more shriek of agony as it exited his mind.

                Akio heard himself laughing, but it was instead of crying as he collapsed to his knees on top of the fading spear. Then he fell silent as he stood back up, summoning his Keyblade and facing Solace, not a second of hesitation as he dashed at him and swung the sword.

                “What the hell?” Solace marveled as he barely dodged. “How are you alive without the spear? Your heart—it was gone! And your body was yours no more!” He stared in awe. “You must be in so much pain!”

                Akio shook his head and clenched his teeth. There were no words without screaming in agony, so why bother talking. He had a final choice. He always had a choice no matter how much Solace claimed to have taken it away. He always had the choice to hold on and he always would. He had a choice…

                And he was choosing to end this here and now.

                He flung himself at Solace, not even bothering to dodge the counter attacks. What was the point? He was dying anyway. He had to stop him. He had to…

                A Keyblade through the heart was all it took. “Impossible!” Solace screeched. The others had yet to get anywhere near them. Akio pinned Solace to the ground to stop him from escaping. There was no way he was going to let this monster get away and do something to anyone else. “How can you—how are you—Akio…”

                All fell silent as Solace disappeared in a burst of light that knocked Akio into the distance. He felt his body flying limply through the air like a doll. He could see the blood running down in front of his face but he was numb. He was only numb. There was no pain as his soul was falling apart, even when he landed on the ground with an audible thud. He didn’t move even as he saw his family approaching.

                “Akio!” Haru and Tori screamed as they ran ahead of the others to try to reach him.

                They stopped in front of him. “Is he…” Tori asked timidly. “Is he really gone? Was Yami right?”

                Haru clenched his teeth. “Why does this keep happening to him?” he demanded. “What did he ever do to anyone?”

                “I’m fine,” he mouthed, but he knew no voice would come. Sure, he was numb, but somehow he was still alive… wasn’t he? His soul; somehow, it was still intact.

                Tori put a hand gently on his head. “…Akio?” she whispered. Her voice wavered. She pulled back her hand and gasped from the blood there she hadn’t seen through his red locks.

                “What the hell, Tori,” he mumbled. “What were you thinking?”

                “Huh?” Tori breathed.

                “Akio?” Haru asked cautiously.

                _“Akio?”_ Yami echoed in his mind. Akio closed his eyes. _“Akio, can you hear me?”_

_Akio opened his eyes. He was standing in his heart. The lighting was so dim he could barely see. “Yami,” he said in relief. “You’re okay.”_

_“I’m okay?” Yami scoffed as he rushed over. “Of course I’m okay? What did you think, dummy?”_

_“You were gone…”_

_“Well, I thought you were gone too, but thankfully we were both wrong.” Yami looked around. “Wait, are you conscious?” he asked in shock._

_“I dunno…” Akio replied. “I… I can’t really talk or anything, but I think I’m awake.”_

_“Can you move or something so that they know you’re alive?” Yami suggested._

Akio tried to wave his arm, but it barely flinched. _“There. Do they know I’m alive now?”_

_“Try to say something.”_

                “Testing, one two three,” Akio muttered.

                “Akio!” Tori yelled in surprise. “You’re okay!”

                “What the hell were you thinking, Tori?” he asked quietly. His thoughts weren’t fully formed. “I could have really hurt you. That spear was dangerous.”

                “Not so dangerous when I knocked it flying through the air, now was it?” she bragged.

                Akio didn’t turn his eyes to look at any of them. He was numb and he was so tired. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to… he didn’t want to do anything at all. “Akio…” he heard Haru say in a strange mixture of relief and sadness. Why would that be? Then it hit him. He said Tori’s name first. His first concern was Tori, because she had put herself in so much risk. Was Haru really that jealous? …No, that didn’t makes sense. He was just worried.

                “You okay, Haru?” Akio mumbled.

                “I’m fine,” he assured.

                “Now let’s get you out of here!” Tori chimed as she tried to lift him.

                “You know Tori,” Haru said dully. “You’re like half his height.”

                Kairi shoved her way closer, quickly followed by Riku and Sora. “We aren’t going anywhere,” Kairi said in horror. She started a cure spell. The others, including Tori and Haru, quickly joined in.

                Akio moved his head to look down. So much blood… It was like every scar was bleeding. That was when the pain hit. He could hear the frantic cure spells, but he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to feel anymore. The numbness… it was almost comforting. “Akio?” he heard Kairi ask, but he didn’t respond. Suddenly everything hurt so sharply before everything went dark.

0o0o0

(Still Akio)

                _“Akio?” Yami called as he gently shook him. He was lying on the glass floor. “Akio, you have to stay awake, you have to—“_

_“What’s the point, Yami?” Akio asked as he looked down at his heart. “It’s even worse than before.” The glowing light below was so faint it might as well not be there. “Maybe… maybe I’m ready to give up this time…”_

_“No! I won’t let you!” Yami protested and shook him again. “If I have to take over that body, so help me I will!”_

_“You wouldn’t… you couldn’t…”_

_“You’re right,” Yami admitted. He looked down. “But please; think about them. Your parents, Tori, Haru… and me. You promised me that I wouldn’t fade away, remember? If you give up, I fade away too.”_

_Akio curled up into a ball on the stained glass platform. “I’m just tired of trying, Yami,” he said. Suddenly he was pulled into a sitting position leaned against Yami and help in tight, protective arms. “What?”_

_“Please, Akio,” Yami begged. “You can’t. You can’t give up… I don’t want to fade away, remember? I don’t want to be alone. I just… you’re everything to me.”_

_“Are you… crying?”_

_“Don’t leave me,” Yami sobbed. “Don’t leave me.”_

_“Yami… I… I won’t,” Akio promised and tried to sit up. “I’m so sorry…”_

_“No… you don’t have to be sorry,” Yami soothed. “Just stay alive, okay?”_

_Akio was pulled closer and tighter and they were surrounded by a swirling shield of darkness as he saw the platform growing smaller and the light growing brighter as it was focused. “Yami?”_

_“You are light… I am darkness… But I always used to protect you from the darkness,” Yami explained. “Now I’m going to do it again.”_

_“Thank you,” Akio mumbled as tears fell._

_“It’s going to be okay,” Yami said. “And that’s a promise.”_

0o0o0

                Akio woke up as the numbness faded away into pain. He barely stopped himself from screaming. He was still on the ground… apparently the shock was wearing off. He couldn’t see, and he couldn’t hear anyone… had they left him? He tried not to scream and he tried to open his eyes as soon as he figured out why he couldn’t see. Faintly, faintly he could hear echoing in his ears, but he couldn’t tell what the voices were saying. They were too loud and too fast.

                He hurt so much everywhere, every inch of his body was in pain, every injury, every cut, and what hurt the most was his side where he had been mortally injured on his first journey. He felt the blood seeping onto his skin. He was terrified. He… maybe he _wasn’t_ ready to die.

                _“There you go, that’s the right way of thinking!” Yami cheered._

                Akio tried to breathe through the pain when he discovered he couldn’t go back to sleep. He tried not to scream or cry; it wouldn’t make any difference.

                “He’s not going to wake up this time, is he?” he heard Haru say as he had to take a break from cure spells.

                “What do you mean, this time?” Tori demanded as she stepped back up to the plate. “Are you saying this has happened before?”

                “Come on, Akio, please wake up,” Kairi begged. “Please let us know you’re okay!”

                “He’s going to wake up!” Tori insisted. “I know he will!”

                Should he open his mouth? Could he say something without screaming? Could he shake his head? No… that would hurt too much. Everything hurt. Breathing hurt, maybe he could stop—no, that wouldn’t work. He hadn’t realized the cure spells had taken a break until they started again. Ow, that hurt more, oh that hurt so much. A scream finally slipped out and his eyes popped back open as he cut the scream as short as possible.

                “Akio!” Sora cheered.

                He couldn’t reply. Everything hurt too much and he wanted to scream but he couldn’t let himself do so again. Each wave of cure spell made the wounds hurt more, but he couldn’t even faint to stop it. He hurt too badly even to do that. Why, why, why was this happening? Was this what the book had meant? Was his body dying as the spear had? He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, trying not to cry or scream or… or die.

                The wound on his side hurt the first time. He knew that back then he had nearly died… but this was worse. This pain… it couldn’t be from the wounds alone, the smaller ones were surely healed by now… it was pain that lingered, and with each spell it grew worse as his nerve endings were repaired, but surely it would calm down soon, right? And maybe he would recover lost blood. Maybe he’d be okay. Yes, surely he’d be okay.

                The pain paused for long enough to notice how cold he felt, the breeze on his arms. How could that be? He processed a thought: the hoodie… the hoodie was no longer on his body. He wanted to scream again, not from the pain this time, but they had seen all of the scars! No, they couldn’t have seen all of them, or how thin he was, or… no. He opened his eyes and tried to move his head to search for the white sweater, but it hurt too much, and what he got a glance of he could only hope wasn’t it because of how much blood covered it. He closed his eyes again. He hoped once more that he hadn’t lost too much blood to recover.

                “Even when he wakes up,” he heard Kairi whisper in despair, “if the Soul Spear did as much damage as Solace said, we can’t expect him to be his normal self at first. His heart needs to heal.”

                “What…?” Tori asked in horror. “What do you mean?”

                What _did_ she mean? He had managed to act perfectly normal after Xehanort, why would it be any different now? But he noticed he couldn’t get his mouth to connect to his brain, and he couldn’t move—wait, his fingers worked and they didn’t hurt that much.

                “But…” Haru voiced the question that had passed through Akio’s mind, “if he was as bad off as Yami said back then, how was he so normal—or wait, was he?”

                “Yes, he was fine,” Kairi reiterated.

                Of course he had been normal! That frustration had nothing to do with the damage to his heart! The breakup was of a clear mind! What was happening now was different… it was terrifying. He opened his eyes again and this time managed to move his head to the right to see the source of the voices… but not without a short scream popping out.

                “Can’t you do anything for the pain?” Tori begged. “I mean, these cure spells are amazing; his wounds look so much better, but…”

                Riku shook his head. “No… we don’t have anything here.”

                Of course they didn’t. That almost made Akio want to laugh, but his eyes got blurry and it was distracting. Not even a smile made it to his lips. Why? Why? What had he done to deserve this? Whatever he had done, he was… “Sorry,” he felt his lips move to the word but no voice came with it.

                And another crew came back over and the cure spells resumed. The pain became sharp once more, though it seemed to be more focused on what he knew was the gravest injury on his side. It was likely all that remained to heal, and even that pain was fading. A few moments later and it was gone and very little hurt anywhere, comparatively speaking. “Thank you,” he managed to whisper.

                Kairi heard and perked up. “You’re welcome, sweetie,” she soothed.

                The next thought didn’t come to his mouth, but he tried to say it anyway. _I don’t want to die._

                As he was picked up, his limp limbs making him hard to carry, he caught a glimpse of the hoodie. The white of the fabric was virtually gone and replaced by dark red stains. His eyes widened. That was _his_ blood, and so was that puddle. The sweater was no more, a piece of his heart fallen to the side once again. They started walking away.

                No. They had to grab it. It was precious, not as much as the first, but—

                Tori ran back and picked it up off the ground, receiving strange looks in the process. “He loved this,” she explained. “Just like his old one. He wouldn’t leave without it.” Tori carefully carried it away from herself to minimize the blood on her clothing and ran to catch up.


	20. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Blood, manipulation, anything bad in the tags!

Chapter 13

(Akio?)

                He was waking up again. Somehow he was waking up again. He slowly opened his eyes and saw someone familiar but whom he didn’t quite recognize. _Solace,_ he heard the voice in his head say fondly.

                He felt his body moving under the spear’s control; yes, he knew now that it had to be the spear itself that was controlling him. This time it wasn’t like he was being manipulated by magic. It was his own muscles moving, his own body reacting to some kind of stimuli being created by the weapon in question. The voice; it was the Soul Spear. And it didn’t seem to realize that he was there at all anymore.

                He saw something in the distance, a line that seemed to be growing closer. As it come into vision, Akio saw that it was people; four people to be exact, and perhaps someone in the distance behind. They had come for him. His parents, and Riku and Haru. They had come to find him, but now it was too late. He had no control anymore. He couldn’t even look around the large empty expanse or see the rock outcropping beyond what was currently in sight.

                _“No!”_ Akio tried to scream as he became aware of what was going to happen. No voice came from his mouth or even into his mind. _“You can’t make me do this!”_

                It didn’t seem like anyone heard, and he knew what the Soul Spear intended.

                He tried to stop his body from moving again, but he had no control left. It was gone. Maybe he should just give up.

                He was alone this time. Yami was gone, and he couldn’t feel him anymore. Had Solace destroyed him? Was he really gone?

                “I’m sure you all remember,” Solace said, “why I have chosen Akio for the Soul Spear to use.”

                “Solace!” Haru growled.

                “The answer is simple,” the man continued. “The spear only works under the power of the light. He has always had this power; this strength through it all. The determination to keep going when all seemed lost even through a fractured heart. He never lost hope, no matter how close he had come. He chose to be strong. But now… Now he has no choice left.” Akio tried to scream again but failed. “Your Akio is gone now; not a fragment of him remains, not even that entity of darkness I shoved out of him. That should be proof enough.”

                “You’re wrong!” Kairi protested. “Akio’s okay!”

                “Of course you’d say that, princess. If he wasn’t, then you would have failed as a mother. You would have all failed in your roles.” Solace sniggered. “You were supposed to protect him and if he’s gone you haven’t. You don’t want to believe that, so you live a lie instead.” Akio kept trying to fight the influence of the spear, but failed. The spear was silent. It had no reason to think.

                “Your Akio…” Solace continued. “Your dear friend, child… he is gone now. He had no choice left, and when that choice faded, so did he. Not a fragment remains.”

                “What did you do to him?” Sora demanded.

                “Hmm,” Solace hummed. “I have done nothing. It is the spear that has caused these facts to be.” Solace laughed. “And now it will surely do what would have caused him to suffer.”

                There was giddy laughter in the back of his mind, and Akio felt his body being pulled forward, his limbs acting on their own accord. He could move his eyes as the spear did not need them, but no one would catch a glimpse of his terror. The Soul Spear was in his hand; his muscles were ready to tense.

                “It will start with the one he holds most dear; likely it will be Haru, but who knows?” Solace shrugged. “That’s up to the spear to decide.”

                _“No!”_ Akio tried to scream as he tried to fight it, but he was soon lunging towards the general direction of Haru. The spear… the Soul Spear. It ate the souls, the hearts of the living. It was a weapon of terrible destruction and power and it was using his body as a tool. A weapon of light being used for ‘dark’ means of its own creation… Akio remembered one thing. He had to stop it! Now that he was aware again, surely he could! The spear had yet to notice him!

                Sora blocked the attack with his Keyblade. “Akio! Snap out of it!” Sora begged.

                Akio was trying, but he wasn’t going to waste energy attempting words. But he saw Sora’s eyes meet his and Sora could see it; the terror. Akio fought the control to no avail. He wouldn’t hurt them!

                Sora’s guard faltered at the expression and—

                “Stop!” Akio heard an unexpected voice scream as a plain wooden staff shoved its way between Keyblade and spear. Tori glared up at him. “Akio… if you’re in there, you have to snap out of it!” Akio felt the spear’s frustration as it adjusted its aim. “The Akio I know would never hurt anyone he cared about!” she roared. “And unlike them, I will not hesitate to fight someone just because they look like him. The Akio I know would be willing to die to save his friends! I will not hold back!”

                “Tori, what the hell are you doing?” Sora snapped as he tried to grab her by the shoulder and shove her behind him. “You’re not a fighter! You have no real weapon, you have—“

                The spear was furious, and Akio could not fight it.

                Tori blocked another attack from hitting the distracted Keyblade Masters. She shoved the spear back, swinging the staff to push it way from her body. The spear slipped from Akio’s grasp, and Tori held the staff to his throat. “So what’s it going to be, punk?” She glared daggers. “I bet you weren’t expecting that!”

                “What the hell?” Solace growled. “Who is this girl?”

                “The name’s Tori!” she shouted without averting her gaze. “I’m the ace in the hole that no one expected!”

                “Regardless, it does not matter!” Solace glanced warily at the spear on the ground.

                The spear was gone. Akio didn’t take time to think the moment he got control back of his body. He only acted. He turned and rushed for the spear, stumbling along the way and having to catch himself, Tori hot on his heels. He saw Riku grab her around her waist and pull her back. “Let me go!” she demanded as she punched at Riku. “You aren’t going to fight him! I will!”

                Akio reached the spear and picked it up. Solace smiled triumphantly… But as the spear laughed, Akio took it in both hands. He snapped it over his knee. “What?” Solace gasped. “What did he just do?”

                The spear let out one more shriek of agony as it exited his mind.

                Akio heard himself laughing, but it was instead of crying as he collapsed to his knees on top of the fading spear. Then he fell silent as he stood back up, summoning his Keyblade and facing Solace, not a second of hesitation as he dashed at him and swung the sword.

                “What the hell?” Solace marveled as he barely dodged. “How are you alive without the spear? Your heart—it was gone! And your body was yours no more!” He stared in awe. “You must be in so much pain!”

                Akio shook his head and clenched his teeth. There were no words without screaming in agony, so why bother talking. He had a final choice. He always had a choice no matter how much Solace claimed to have taken it away. He always had the choice to hold on and he always would. He had a choice…

                And he was choosing to end this here and now.

                He flung himself at Solace, not even bothering to dodge the counter attacks. What was the point? He was dying anyway. He had to stop him. He had to…

                A Keyblade through the heart was all it took. “Impossible!” Solace screeched. The others had yet to get anywhere near them. Akio pinned Solace to the ground to stop him from escaping. There was no way he was going to let this monster get away and do something to anyone else. “How can you—how are you—Akio…”

                All fell silent as Solace disappeared in a burst of light that knocked Akio into the distance. He felt his body flying limply through the air like a doll. He could see the blood running down in front of his face but he was numb. He was only numb. There was no pain as his soul was falling apart, even when he landed on the ground with an audible thud. He didn’t move even as he saw his family approaching.

                “Akio!” Haru and Tori screamed as they ran ahead of the others to try to reach him.

                They stopped in front of him. “Is he…” Tori asked timidly. “Is he really gone? Was Yami right?”

                Haru clenched his teeth. “Why does this keep happening to him?” he demanded. “What did he ever do to anyone?”

                “I’m fine,” he mouthed, but he knew no voice would come. Sure, he was numb, but somehow he was still alive… wasn’t he? His soul; somehow, it was still intact.

                Tori put a hand gently on his head. “…Akio?” she whispered. Her voice wavered. She pulled back her hand and gasped from the blood there she hadn’t seen through his red locks.

                “What the hell, Tori,” he mumbled. “What were you thinking?”

                “Huh?” Tori breathed.

                “Akio?” Haru asked cautiously.

                _“Akio?”_ Yami echoed in his mind. Akio closed his eyes. _“Akio, can you hear me?”_

_Akio opened his eyes. He was standing in his heart. The lighting was so dim he could barely see. “Yami,” he said in relief. “You’re okay.”_

_“I’m okay?” Yami scoffed as he rushed over. “Of course I’m okay? What did you think, dummy?”_

_“You were gone…”_

_“Well, I thought you were gone too, but thankfully we were both wrong.” Yami looked around. “Wait, are you conscious?” he asked in shock._

_“I dunno…” Akio replied. “I… I can’t really talk or anything, but I think I’m awake.”_

_“Can you move or something so that they know you’re alive?” Yami suggested._

Akio tried to wave his arm, but it barely flinched. _“There. Do they know I’m alive now?”_

_“Try to say something.”_

                “Testing, one two three,” Akio muttered.

                “Akio!” Tori yelled in surprise. “You’re okay!”

                “What the hell were you thinking, Tori?” he asked quietly. His thoughts weren’t fully formed. “I could have really hurt you. That spear was dangerous.”

                “Not so dangerous when I knocked it flying through the air, now was it?” she bragged.

                Akio didn’t turn his eyes to look at any of them. He was numb and he was so tired. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to… he didn’t want to do anything at all. “Akio…” he heard Haru say in a strange mixture of relief and sadness. Why would that be? Then it hit him. He said Tori’s name first. His first concern was Tori, because she had put herself in so much risk. Was Haru really that jealous? …No, that didn’t makes sense. He was just worried.

                “You okay, Haru?” Akio mumbled.

                “I’m fine,” he assured.

                “Now let’s get you out of here!” Tori chimed as she tried to lift him.

                “You know Tori,” Haru said dully. “You’re like half his height.”

                Kairi shoved her way closer, quickly followed by Riku and Sora. “We aren’t going anywhere,” Kairi said in horror. She started a cure spell. The others, including Tori and Haru, quickly joined in.

                Akio moved his head to look down. So much blood… It was like every scar was bleeding. That was when the pain hit. He could hear the frantic cure spells, but he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to feel anymore. The numbness… it was almost comforting. “Akio?” he heard Kairi ask, but he didn’t respond. Suddenly everything hurt so sharply before everything went dark.

0o0o0

(Still Akio)

                _“Akio?” Yami called as he gently shook him. He was lying on the glass floor. “Akio, you have to stay awake, you have to—“_

_“What’s the point, Yami?” Akio asked as he looked down at his heart. “It’s even worse than before.” The glowing light below was so faint it might as well not be there. “Maybe… maybe I’m ready to give up this time…”_

_“No! I won’t let you!” Yami protested and shook him again. “If I have to take over that body, so help me I will!”_

_“You wouldn’t… you couldn’t…”_

_“You’re right,” Yami admitted. He looked down. “But please; think about them. Your parents, Tori, Haru… and me. You promised me that I wouldn’t fade away, remember? If you give up, I fade away too.”_

_Akio curled up into a ball on the stained glass platform. “I’m just tired of trying, Yami,” he said. Suddenly he was pulled into a sitting position leaned against Yami and help in tight, protective arms. “What?”_

_“Please, Akio,” Yami begged. “You can’t. You can’t give up… I don’t want to fade away, remember? I don’t want to be alone. I just… you’re everything to me.”_

_“Are you… crying?”_

_“Don’t leave me,” Yami sobbed. “Don’t leave me.”_

_“Yami… I… I won’t,” Akio promised and tried to sit up. “I’m so sorry…”_

_“No… you don’t have to be sorry,” Yami soothed. “Just stay alive, okay?”_

_Akio was pulled closer and tighter and they were surrounded by a swirling shield of darkness as he saw the platform growing smaller and the light growing brighter as it was focused. “Yami?”_

_“You are light… I am darkness… But I always used to protect you from the darkness,” Yami explained. “Now I’m going to do it again.”_

_“Thank you,” Akio mumbled as tears fell._

_“It’s going to be okay,” Yami said. “And that’s a promise.”_

0o0o0

                Akio woke up as the numbness faded away into pain. He barely stopped himself from screaming. He was still on the ground… apparently the shock was wearing off. He couldn’t see, and he couldn’t hear anyone… had they left him? He tried not to scream and he tried to open his eyes as soon as he figured out why he couldn’t see. Faintly, faintly he could hear echoing in his ears, but he couldn’t tell what the voices were saying. They were too loud and too fast.

                He hurt so much everywhere, every inch of his body was in pain, every injury, every cut, and what hurt the most was his side where he had been mortally injured on his first journey. He felt the blood seeping onto his skin. He was terrified. He… maybe he _wasn’t_ ready to die.

                _“There you go, that’s the right way of thinking!” Yami cheered._

                Akio tried to breathe through the pain when he discovered he couldn’t go back to sleep. He tried not to scream or cry; it wouldn’t make any difference.

                “He’s not going to wake up this time, is he?” he heard Haru say as he had to take a break from cure spells.

                “What do you mean, this time?” Tori demanded as she stepped back up to the plate. “Are you saying this has happened before?”

                “Come on, Akio, please wake up,” Kairi begged. “Please let us know you’re okay!”

                “He’s going to wake up!” Tori insisted. “I know he will!”

                Should he open his mouth? Could he say something without screaming? Could he shake his head? No… that would hurt too much. Everything hurt. Breathing hurt, maybe he could stop—no, that wouldn’t work. He hadn’t realized the cure spells had taken a break until they started again. Ow, that hurt more, oh that hurt so much. A scream finally slipped out and his eyes popped back open as he cut the scream as short as possible.

                “Akio!” Sora cheered.

                He couldn’t reply. Everything hurt too much and he wanted to scream but he couldn’t let himself do so again. Each wave of cure spell made the wounds hurt more, but he couldn’t even faint to stop it. He hurt too badly even to do that. Why, why, why was this happening? Was this what the book had meant? Was his body dying as the spear had? He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, trying not to cry or scream or… or die.

                The wound on his side hurt the first time. He knew that back then he had nearly died… but this was worse. This pain… it couldn’t be from the wounds alone, the smaller ones were surely healed by now… it was pain that lingered, and with each spell it grew worse as his nerve endings were repaired, but surely it would calm down soon, right? And maybe he would recover lost blood. Maybe he’d be okay. Yes, surely he’d be okay.

                The pain paused for long enough to notice how cold he felt, the breeze on his arms. How could that be? He processed a thought: the hoodie… the hoodie was no longer on his body. He wanted to scream again, not from the pain this time, but they had seen all of the scars! No, they couldn’t have seen all of them, or how thin he was, or… no. He opened his eyes and tried to move his head to search for the white sweater, but it hurt too much, and what he got a glance of he could only hope wasn’t it because of how much blood covered it. He closed his eyes again. He hoped once more that he hadn’t lost too much blood to recover.

                “Even when he wakes up,” he heard Kairi whisper in despair, “if the Soul Spear did as much damage as Solace said, we can’t expect him to be his normal self at first. His heart needs to heal.”

                “What…?” Tori asked in horror. “What do you mean?”

                What _did_ she mean? He had managed to act perfectly normal after Xehanort, why would it be any different now? But he noticed he couldn’t get his mouth to connect to his brain, and he couldn’t move—wait, his fingers worked and they didn’t hurt that much.

                “But…” Haru voiced the question that had passed through Akio’s mind, “if he was as bad off as Yami said back then, how was he so normal—or wait, was he?”

                “Yes, he was fine,” Kairi reiterated.

                Of course he had been normal! That frustration had nothing to do with the damage to his heart! The breakup was of a clear mind! What was happening now was different… it was terrifying. He opened his eyes again and this time managed to move his head to the right to see the source of the voices… but not without a short scream popping out.

                “Can’t you do anything for the pain?” Tori begged. “I mean, these cure spells are amazing; his wounds look so much better, but…”

                Riku shook his head. “No… we don’t have anything here.”

                Of course they didn’t. That almost made Akio want to laugh, but his eyes got blurry and it was distracting. Not even a smile made it to his lips. Why? Why? What had he done to deserve this? Whatever he had done, he was… “Sorry,” he felt his lips move to the word but no voice came with it.

                And another crew came back over and the cure spells resumed. The pain became sharp once more, though it seemed to be more focused on what he knew was the gravest injury on his side. It was likely all that remained to heal, and even that pain was fading. A few moments later and it was gone and very little hurt anywhere, comparatively speaking. “Thank you,” he managed to whisper.

                Kairi heard and perked up. “You’re welcome, sweetie,” she soothed.

                The next thought didn’t come to his mouth, but he tried to say it anyway. _I don’t want to die._

                As he was picked up, his limp limbs making him hard to carry, he caught a glimpse of the hoodie. The white of the fabric was virtually gone and replaced by dark red stains. His eyes widened. That was _his_ blood, and so was that puddle. The sweater was no more, a piece of his heart fallen to the side once again. They started walking away.

                No. They had to grab it. It was precious, not as much as the first, but—

                Tori ran back and picked it up off the ground, receiving strange looks in the process. “He loved this,” she explained. “Just like his old one. He wouldn’t leave without it.” Tori carefully carried it away from herself to minimize the blood on her clothing and ran to catch up.


	21. Solace Arc: Chapter 14

Chapter 14

(Akio)

                _Akio sat next to Yami. They stared at the wall of darkness that surrounded them. Though there was more space than before, the swirling wall was claustrophobic. This was all so strange. Yami was all that was protecting his heart now. He couldn’t wake up this time._

_“Yami,” Akio whispered. “What am I going to do now?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“How do I wake up? How do I go on from here?” He looked down. “It’s worse this time. Without you here, I’d be gone. But this isn’t the first time it has happened. I lost to Xehanort, and now I lost to the Soul-Spear…” He looked at the cracked glass below them. “Now I don’t know if I’ll ever make it back.”_

_“You will,” Yami insisted. “Your heart just needs time to heal.”_

_“But I lost… How can I get past that?”_

_“Akio, you didn’t lose in the end; you beat them,” Yami disagreed. “You broke their control and you overcame them. You have always won, and that hasn’t changed.”_

_“What if I lose?” Akio asked. “This was all about ‘choice’ to Solace, and the Soul-Spear took it away.” He wished the dark screen around them could be their tranquil sea. When he closed his eyes, he could almost see the tide rising. He could still imagine the sounds… but it was just that. His imagination. Not even an illusion._

_He continued, “How am I supposed to wake up when making the choice to do so isn’t enough? I… I have no destiny; that’s what Solace said. And… I don’t really want one; but how am I supposed to know what’s going to happen?”_

_“Akio, you still have a choice.” Akio looked over at Yami. “You are choosing to fight, to let me protect you; and when your heart is ready, you’ll be able to wake up.” He sighed. “Besides, you can sort of wake up, you just aren’t quite there yet.”_

_“Some good that does.”_

_“Besides; you said to hell with destiny, remember? When you threw that paopu fruit in the water, when you broke up with Haru, you came to terms with choosing your own fate. Don’t you remember?” Yami turned to face him. He looked concerned. He was hoping that this wasn’t another missing memory, perhaps outside the protective ring, perhaps chipped away. He had forgotten so many things…_

_“I do,” Akio assured. “I know that I hated destiny and that I wanted nothing to do with fate. I wanted to be the only one making my own choices; but I never knew how much power they held.” The darkness shifted all the same, though maybe it had moved a few fractions of an inch further away. “I’m starting to remember more now… I remember that I didn’t know that I lacked ties to the universe and that everyone else did. I had no idea that I had that much power, and that was why Solace used me. I… I thought there was something driving me forward…”_

_“There is,” Yami asserted. “You.” He poked him in the shoulder. (Wrong! It’s you, Yami!)_

_“Me?”_

_“You keep going. Those choices, they mean everything. Your decisions affect everyone and everything around you. Akio, you change fate, and you’ve saved everyone who wasn’t meant to be saved. Our very existence defies the laws of the universe, and you know what? That’s a beautiful thing.” Yami smiled. “You know, Akio; you’ve always been good at keeping moving, even before you got your Keyblade. Not for your family, not for Haru or Tori, not for me; you kept going forward for yourself. And soon, you’ll use that will again and wake up from this nightmare.”_

_Akio lay back on the ground, looking at the empty darkness above. He wondered; could Yami be right? Was it really worth the fight? Maybe, when he woke up, he could make sure his existence kept changing things in a good way. The fact that Xehanort had almost returned was because his alive; and that was why Solace had chosen him. There was no way around it._

_But… maybe he was worth it. He had saved them all, after all._

_Solace… the Soul-Spear had changed him. He couldn’t wake up now, his heart was too damaged. But maybe… maybe one day he could look back on this and know that he changed it into something good._

_“That’s the Akio I know.” Yami laughed. “You’re too stubborn to give in. You know your life is worth it, even if it’s not meant to be… and you know what?” Akio looked up at him. “Maybe Solace was wrong. Maybe your choices are what lead to destiny. Maybe the power is greater than what he knew. Maybe that power…”_

_“Can change things for the better,” Akio finished the thought. “But… I can’t wake up. I can’t go back to normal! Why do these things keep happening to me?”_

_“Because only you can handle them?” Yami suggested._

_He covered his face. “I just want things to be different. Maybe if I could go back, go back to the time that my destiny faded away… maybe I should have given up on that island that night! Then none of this would have happened.”_

_“Don’t be crazy, Akio,” Yami soothed. “It’s all going to be okay. I promised, remember?”_

_Akio felt the tears falling down his cheeks and he knew they would be doing the same back in reality. “Then why am I stuck?” Akio wondered. “Yami… why can’t I talk, or move, or show any sign of life? If I could even be halfway there, that would be amazing. I just… I want to go home.”_

_“Hey…” Yami pulled him up into a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay, Akio… I promise… remember that.”_

0o0o0

(Haru)

                Haru walked into Akio’s room and spotted something on the desk, something he hadn’t been expecting. It was a Wayfinder; Akio’s Wayfinder. But… it wasn’t repaired.

                Haru walked over in silence. Akio had given Haru’s back! Why would he do that if this one was not fixed? Did he not care? Did he hate him? Did he—

                No, surely not. It just looked like it was irreparable. He couldn’t have so little self-confidence. Akio still cared about him, and when he woke up, they could talk about it.

 

(Haru)

                Haru and Tori were still having a lot of disagreements, but they had begun to come to some kind of understanding as of the late. Haru was still jealous; he tried not to be, he really did, but part of him felt left out.

                They were sitting in the living room after school. Neither had the heart yet to go up and be with Akio. So they were sitting there, a bit uncomfortably. Haru sighed. “So… what’s up?”

                Tori shrugged. “Things aren’t so bad on my side of things; but it’s still important to me to be there for Akio.”

                Haru nodded and looked down. “I haven’t been going in there as much as I should. I have no excuse. I live here; you don’t and yet you’re here every single day without fail.” He paused. “And why am I still jealous? It’s my fault you’re being better than I am. I know that Akio cared about you more than me, and I know that he was right to. I know that I was being weird…”

                Tori shook her head. “You’re wrong about that. I’ll never be as important to Akio as you!”

                “Huh?”

                “Yami told me when we were traveling together: Akio will always be your best friend. Yes he’s friends with me too, but there’s something special about you, just… just not in the way that he’s special to you.” Tori shrugged. “Yami told me a lot of things… Akio was mad that you were being so jealous, but he couldn’t stay that way for long. He was just waiting for you to grow up a little and realize how ridiculous you were being.”

                Haru paused. “I guess Yami would know. And he’d have no reason to lie to you.”

                “Yami’s not a liar, regardless of what you seem to think,” Tori assured.

                “I think I finally understood that once our groups met up again.” Haru nodded. “But it’s hard; he was darkness after all. There are just certain things you expect out of a being that insists they are pure darkness.”

                Tori shook her head. “There’s so much more to Yami than just being darkness,” she explained. “I don’t understand how he could be simply darkness. I don’t understand how he isn’t… how he isn’t a person of his own.” She looked down and played with the strings on her black hoodie. “He’s so _different_ from Akio. They aren’t very alike at all. Yami’s… _softer,_ if that makes sense.”

                “Like a different person,” Haru puzzled. “He was softer. What does that mean?”

                “First of all, can you stop saying ‘was’? I’m sure he’s fine just as much as Akio,” Tori insisted.

                “Sorry…”

                “And as far as what I meant; he’s less stiff, more relaxed and has a completely different sense of humor, and more of one.” She was smiling talking about him, Haru noted. “He’s very open. He isn’t so quick to snap. Yes, he doesn’t like you, but he doesn’t hate you either. He recognizes that Akio cares about you, and he said that he tried really hard to like you, but he couldn’t. He’s not a bad person at all.”

                “You really got to know Yami while you were traveling together, didn’t you?” Haru asked.

                Tori nodded. “Yeah. I guess I did.” Her expression fell. “And now I’ll never meet him again.”

                “I’m… I’m sorry.”

                She shook her head. “He’s a part of Akio. He told me that from the beginning. He told me not to get attached, but well, we both got attached to each other anyway,” Tori explained. “I couldn’t help it; He’s just so interesting and kind and…” She looked away. “To be perfectly honest, I visit Akio just as much for Yami’s sake as Akio’s; you know, in case he knows that I’m there. So he knows that I haven’t forgotten about him and never will.”

                “It’s got to be weird,” he decided, “knowing that someone you care about so much isn’t even a whole person at all.”

                Tori nodded. “I just don’t get it!” she exclaimed. “He’s a person. I have no question of that! He is a completely separate person from Akio! I don’t understand!” She sighed. “All of that time we were traveling, he couldn’t wait to get back to Akio, where he was safe and he could protect him. He didn’t even want to be his own person at first. Maybe he did in the end, maybe not, but I don’t think he’d ever make that choice!”

                Haru paused. “Maybe once Akio’s awake he can visit you,” he explained. “He can travel in dreams. He’s been in my dreams once before. That’s how I knew how much he hated me.”

                “Huh?” She perked up. “He can travel in dreams? I might be able to see him again?”

                “I make no promises,” Haru said, “and knowing how protective Yami is of Akio, it might be a while. But maybe one day he will come to see you.”

                She frowned. “Still not the same,” she decided. She stood up. “Well, enough dilly dallying. One of us should go up and see Akio, if not both. Do we want to call a truce?” She held out a hand.

                Haru nodded and stood up to shake it. “Yeah.”

                Together, they went up the stairs to see both of their friends.


	22. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

(Yami)

                _With a swirl of darkness Yami ended up seated on an unfamiliar beach; he just needed a break while Akio was taking a rest. He could hold the barrier from here for a brief amount of time and he didn’t want Akio to see him like this. He didn’t need that right now._

_He had gone to the dreams of the heart closest to Akio’s to make for a quick exit if needed. The person in question was having a nightmare, one that it took Yami a minute to comprehend. Haru was fighting someone… Haru was fighting a copy of Yami. Had Yami really made such a bad impression, made such a feeling of hatred that he was battling against Akio’s friend inside his own heart? It was time to break the nightmare._

_“Hey Haru!” Yami called after clearing his throat to try to make his voice less ragged. “Do you really think I hate you that much?”_

_Haru whipped around to face him as the sky cleared and the image disappeared. “…Yami?” He shook his head. “I knew that I wasn’t really fighting you…” he confirmed. He took a few deep breaths to clear his head and escape from the feelings of the nightmare. He suddenly looked up. “Wait, you’re alive!”_

_Yami was confused by the positive reaction after witnessing what he had. “Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”_

_“You disappeared, remember? You thought you were dying!” Haru said, furrowing his eyebrows in worry. “Don’t you remember?”_

_“Oh?” Yami paused and thought for a minute. “Oh yeah. Now I remember. Sorry about that. Things can get pretty fuzzy in my mind these days.” He had no energy to try to turn it into a joke or made fun of Haru, or lie about actually remembering. He was drained._

_Haru rushed over. “What are you doing here?”_

_“I needed a break, and your heart is the closest connection…” Yami stared out at the calm sea. He missed seeing one._

_“It is?” Haru’s eyes widened._

_“Yes, you dimwit,” Yami snapped. “You’re his best friend!”_

_“But… the Wayfinder…”_

_Yami scoffed. “That thing?” He shook his head. “It was just an object and that object was like a leash in Akio’s mind. You’re his best friend, charm or not. That charm… he couldn’t repair it, and he wanted to be separate so he stopped trying. He didn’t want to be tied to you or anyone else.” He sighed.  “Destiny, fate; Solace was right. He said to hell with it. He wanted freedom. He wanted to be independent. So he gave yours back and left his in disrepair until a later day.”_

_Haru stared at him for a moment. “I’m still his best friend,” he repeated. “But what about you? Why didn’t you go to Tori?”_

_Yami rolled his eyes and sniffled; the question went over his head. “Tori’s heart is almost as close as yours for some reason, I’ll admit. Hell, maybe I should have tried to go there instead. I actually like her.” He rubbed at his eyes. “I can if you want me to.”_

_“No, wait! Don’t go!” Haru finally noticed Yami was crying. “I’m sorry… what’s wrong?”_

_“You know what’s wrong.” Yami tried not to let his voice shake. “Poor Akio’s not always there at all.” He sighed. “He’s… he’s fighting, but it’s almost too much. I’m all that’s keeping him alive right now. Sometimes, he doesn’t even remember anything but me.” He looked down._

_Haru frowned. “Is there anything I can do to help?”_

_Yami shook his head. “I’m sorry I bothered you… I just…” He looked away. “I hoped that you would have some hope left to inspire me, but looking around… you don’t.” He sighed. “I guess I really should have tried to go to Tori.”_

_“I’m… I’m sorry.” Haru looked ashamed. “I don’t really have hope left; or at least, I didn’t. That’s why I haven’t been visiting as much. Now that I know you’re okay, maybe there is some of his heart left after all.”_

_Yami sighed. “I honestly can’t blame you, and neither does Akio so long as it isn’t that stupid, petty jealousy.”_

_“It’s not!” Haru insisted. “I mean, I was surprised that you’re say my heart was the closest. Akio was pretty angry with me before.”_

_Yami shook his head. “Annoyed, not angry; and you’re his best friends, and best friends get into fights too… He cares about you, just not in the same way that you cared about him.”_

_Haru looked away. “I’m sorry, Yami.”_

_“Don’t apologize to me. You’ll have to apologize to him once he wakes up, capische?” Yami shook his head. “Sorry to have to come to your heart in this shape. You shouldn’t have to see this. I’ll have to leave soon, but… Thanks, Haru. I never thought I’d say that.”_

_“Wait!” Haru said. “Why didn’t you go to Tori though? To tell her that you’re okay. I know your heart is closer to hers—“_

_Yami laughed. “You just don’t get it, do you? I don’t have a heart to be close to anyone, Haru,” Yami stated. “I’m not a person, no matter how much I look like one. I’m an extension of Akio’s soul, nothing more, nothing less.”_

_“But out there with Tori; you were so much more. She told me!”_

_Yami shook his head. “Nope. It might have seemed that way, but I’m just a piece of a whole. I’m part of Akio…” He sighed. “That’s why I never should have let Tori get so close to me.”_

_Haru paused and looked like he understood something unsaid. “Have you told Akio yet; how close you were? And… how much you wish you were a person.”_

_“Who said I’d want that?” Yami said. “I don’t. Besides; telling Akio about any of this isn’t important right now. And thinking about being anything else; that will never be important.” He paused in thought. “I have a job to do,” he explained. “My job is to protect Akio’s heart from darkness. What I want, what I need… those don’t matter. He might think so, but I’ve told him before that I never want to be a person, and I’m not sure that’s even changed, so why bother? If I mentioned it, he’d try to fix it. He’d try to make me free to live in the world of the awake.” He smiled, but the tears were welling up again. Maybe he did wish for that. “I’ll never belong there, out there with Tori. I’ll never belong anywhere but the realm of the asleep. I’ll never belong anywhere but Akio’s heart, and hell, maybe I don’t even belong there.”_

_“That’s never stopped you,” Haru said. “But… it’s your decision, and you’re in your mind to know, not me. If you think you shouldn’t tell him yet, it’s up to you. Same as if you ever will or not; it’s your choice.”_

_Yami sighed. “I need to go now. Thanks for listening, Haru.”_

_“You’re welcome… and I’m glad you’re okay.” Haru smiled. “I’m sorry I never believed in you.”_

_“Eh, no biggie.” Yami grinned. “Peace,” he said as he left._

(Haru)

                Something crossed Haru’s mind as he and Tori sitting in the living room after school; a memory of a dream. He had to tell her.

                “So…” he began. “I talked to Yami.”

                “Yami?” She sat up straighter. “Yami’s okay?”

                “Yeah, he’s okay,” Haru said. “He visited me in my dreams. He said that my heart was the closest to Akio’s. He apparently needed a break.”

                Tori smiled. “If Yami’s okay, then that means Akio will be okay too,” she marveled.

                Haru grinned. “You’re right!”

                Tori leaned back against the couch again, a hopeful look in her eyes. “They’re both okay,” she said in relief. “Have you told Sora and Kairi yet?”

                “I hadn’t thought to,” Haru said. “It was in a dream that I didn’t really remember until I saw you today.”

                “Well you need to tell them!” Tori insisted. “It will give them a new wave of hope, and I think they’d be relieved to heart that Yami’s alive too!”

                “You’re right; I’ll tell them when they come back downstairs,” he decided. He was smiling now too. Tori’s enthusiasm made everything clearer in his mind. If Yami was okay, Akio was okay too. He needed to start visiting Akio more frequently again; and he would. Now that he remembered, he would feel like it was worth it.

                Tori looked so happy. Haru knew that it had been ever worse for her. She thought that Yami had been gone for good, and regardless of her claims that he was fine, he had to wonder if she had truly believed it. It had to be hard, seeing someone you cared about that much fading away to nothing. It had been hard enough for him to see and he wasn’t particularly fond of the entity. He too was relieved that Yami was okay for many reasons.

                Tori laughed lightly. “I wonder if Yami will ever visit my dreams; if my heart is even close enough… I would have thought it would be close to his.”

                Haru shook his head. “Yami told me again that he doesn’t have a heart; that he’s just a piece of Akio. And since Yami’s the one who’s close to you, that meant that he could come to me more easily since I’m closer to Akio. Does that make sense?” Haru had to wonder if he was interpreting the information correctly. He wasn’t always the best at that.

                Tori nodded. “I guess. But personally I can’t bring myself to believe that Yami lacks a heart. He’s his own person.”

                “Not according to him,” Haru said. “I don’t know what to think. I thought he seemed separate too, but I’d think he’d be the one to know.”

                “I suppose.” Tori shrugged. “Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter.”

                “It honestly doesn’t,” Haru agreed. “Not right now, at least.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her that Yami said he’d never approach Akio with the thought of becoming a reality. She would be hurt to know that she wasn’t that important.

                “I guess Yami did say that Akio was the most important thing,” Tori said as if reading Haru’s mind. “It probably will be a very a very long time before he visits me, and he probably will never come back to reality if he can have a say in it.”

                “It’s like you read my mind of what he said,” Haru admitted. He sighed. “But don’t worry. Yami still cares about you.”

                Tori nodded. “I didn’t doubt it. I just need to get over him is all,” she finally said, “but I don’t want to.”

                “Oh. I was right,” Haru said. “You two were—“

                “He told me that he loved me. That he shouldn’t be able to, but that he did anyway,” she explained. “That’s why I thought he must have a heart separate from Akio’s. I mean, Akio doesn’t love me. Yami is separate enough that he can have his own emotions.”

                “Oh. I see… I think.”

                Tori shrugged. “And I love him too, but I don’t love Akio, if that makes sense. They’re so different.” She paused. “I just thought—I just thought that maybe I would makes some kind of difference. But you know: if protecting Akio is the most important thing to him, if that’s what makes him happy, then he should do it.”

                “You’re a better person than I am,” Haru said with a sigh. “I was so jealous when Akio broke up with me. I wanted to find someone to blame, so I blamed Yami.”

                “He told me that.”

                “It was ridiculous. How could I have been jealous of Akio being closer to a part of himself? For listening to a part of himself rather than ignoring his emotions. And on top of that, I don’t really think Yami said much of anything at all.” Haru shook his head. “I feel like I want him to come to my dreams again so I can properly apologize; not to Akio, but to Yami, because I’ve done separate wrongs to Yami. Yes, I need to apologize to Akio too, but that will be far simpler.”

                “I think that Yami is raw emotion. Your jealousy make him dislike you more than he already did. And he already did because Akio was trying to keep you happy for so long,” Tori said what she had observed. “And he doesn’t have the shields against the nuances of reality like Akio does. He doesn’t know what to do with those emotions, and that’s why he got so angry, why he cried a lot, and why he laughed so much. He never had to hide anything from anyone before, or at least not for a while. He didn’t know how to. He was getting better at it once we rejoined your group.”

                “He cried… a lot?” Haru worried.

                “Yes. He cried because you hated him. He cried because he was worried about Akio, and he was worried about Sora and Kairi, his mom and dad. He was worried about what they were going through. He cried because he was lonely… because he was hopeless at times… and sometimes, it was just too much for him to take in.”

                “He was upset that he thought I hated him?” Haru felt ashamed. Had he been that much of a jerk? “But he brushed it off when we joined up again. He made a joke of an apology.”

                Tori chuckled. “He was also good at that too. Joking around to try to get the emotions out in a different, less embarrassing way. Whenever he cried, he turned it into a laugh and made fun of himself or something around us. Sometimes it seemed like genuine laughter, too; like he bounced right back like nothing happened. He had the strangest sense of humor. He liked to make me laugh.”

                “I never realized there was so much to him,” Haru said. “He _has_ to be someone separate from Akio if he’s so…” He paused. “I don’t know the word. But you get what I mean.”

                “I do.” Tori sighed. “I really do. And I’m sure that he’s really good for Akio, and that together, they’ll both be alright.”

                Haru nodded in agreement. “Yeah. You’re right!”


	23. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

(Yami)

                _“I have so much to tell you, you know,” Yami offered as a conversation piece. Akio was a little more aware at the moment, so he may as well try to entertain him._

_“Yeah, I bet you do,” Akio agreed. “You were out there the entire time the spear had ahold of me, right?”_

_“Well, most of it,” Yami said. “For a short while… I’m not sure where I was. I think I was here, but you weren’t, and it was so… empty.”_

_“Sorry about that,” Akio said._

_“You definitely don’t need to apologize!” Yami said. “I thought you were dead! I thought we were both goners! And guess what’ we’re not. We’re both okay!”_

_Akio almost smiled. “You’re right.” He paused. “So what was it like traveling with everyone? I didn’t get a chance to.”_

_Yami laughed nervously. “About that…”_

_“What?”_

_“I… I kind of ran off and only traveled with Tori for most of the time,” he admitted._

_“What!?!” Akio demanded. “What were you thinking? And what about Tori?”_

_“I got into a big argument with Haru,” Yami explained. “I had to get away or else things were going to get pretty ugly. I think I overreacted, but he said some stupid things that I don’t want to get into because I don’t want you to be angry with him when you wake up.”_

_“Sounds like I should be.”_

_Yami shook his head. “No. You don’t need to worry about me, capische?”_

_Akio crossed his arms. “Okay.”_

_Yami sighed. “And as far as Tori goes, she followed us. She snuck onto the ship and rode along. She managed to stay hidden until Solace gave some big speech after you were kidnapped, but then she showed herself. Yami was almost smiling. “Everyone else tried to convince her to go home, and I kept with the act… but I didn’t want to force her to go home. She wanted to see other worlds so badly. So I told her to stay hidden. It was like that until I got into the fight with Haru.”_

_Akio nodded. “I don’t know if I would have made her leave either.”_

_“Well, after I fought with Haru, I went to Tori and asked her if she wanted to come with me. I told her I’d train her.” He frowned. “At first she was afraid of me because my dark powers were showing off, but when she agreed, I calmed down. We traveled together and I taught her to fight. She’s a fast learner, and as you saw, she’s good with that staff.”_

_“Good job, then,” Akio said. “If you hadn’t trained her, I think things could have turned out way worse.”_

_“Tori is great. I really got to know her, traveling with her like that.” Yami fully smiled, something he hadn’t done in a while. “I know her better than you do, that’s for sure. Maybe… maybe once you’re better I can show you what happened.”_

_“That’d be cool. I’d get to see what I missed.” Akio smiled. “I didn’t get to go on this journey even though it was supposed to be mine. Figures.”_

_Yami frowned. “I’m going to miss Tori though.”_

_“Huh?” Akio seemed surprised, and Yami wasn’t shocked by that. “I thought you didn’t like the real world.”_

_“I didn’t—I don’t.” Yami laughed. “Just Tori. And… I wish I could spend more time with her… but it’s not worth it.”_

_Akio studied him. “You know, maybe once I’m better, we can find a way. If nothing else, you can travel between dreams, right?”_

_Yami paused. “You’re right.” He smiled. He wasn’t going to tell Akio that he felt that might not be enough. “Yeah. That would be nice.”_

_Akio smiled. He was still too exhausted to notice that Yami was leaving out details. “Thank you for helping her, Yami.”_

_“Hmm? You’re welcome.”_

_“And I’m sorry Haru was a jerk to you,” he added._

_“Well, I can’t say it was unexpected,” he said. “Your parents were nice enough, but they thought I was you. I couldn’t take it!”_

_“I doubt they thought you were me,” Akio said warily. “At least, I hope not.”_

_“Tori said they probably didn’t, but I don’t know. I know how I felt.” He sighed. “And it was so… weird, I guess is the word. I felt… I felt so strange.”_

_“Strange?”_

_“There was this… fluttering in my chest, and this beating in my ears. I felt sick. I had headaches. Things that didn’t make sense.” Yami sighed. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It’s gone now. I guess it was just the difference between a physical body and being here.”_

_“Huh,” Akio said. “It sounds like you’re describing having a heart; but then again, I don’t know if a ‘heart’ is like the organ,” he said. “I don’t know if that’s what people talk about when they talk about their hearts. So who can say, really?”_

_“Beats me,” Yami said with a laugh. “I’m just glad to be back here, and that you’re okay.”_

_“I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried while you were gone.” He sighed. “It had been a long time since I’d been alone in my heart.”_

_“I guess it would be weird.”_

_“Not to mention I don’t think I was even conscious that much, even in here. Everything was just… blank.” Akio shook his head. “It’s not something I want to do again.”_

_“It’s not something I want to happen to you ever again either,” Yami said. “You aren’t allowed to get hurt anymore, capische? We’ll figure out how to get you a real journey someday soon, but you’ve got to promise that nothing bad is going to happen to you.”_

_“Well as long as I have a say in it, nothing will,” Akio said. “But I don’t always have a say in it, you know? I certainly didn’t this time, that’s for sure.”_

_“I know, I know. I was kind of joking,” Yami said with a slight laugh. “I know you had no control. It wasn’t one of your choices. You had to save Haru; that was your only choice, or else you wouldn’t have been you.” Yami frowned. “It was Haru’s fault if it was anyone’s!”_

_Akio was silent for a minute. “He was being stupid, but… I don’t think he can be blamed for the outcome being this massive. At least, I’m not going to blame him,” he said. “I don’t know whether or not things would have been different if he hadn’t followed me out of the camp. There’s no way to know what could have changed the past.”_

_Yami was silent for a moment. He had to disagree. He couldn’t help but blame Haru, but… he’d act like he didn’t. He needed to pretend for Akio’s sake, so he would. “Sure,” he said. “We can’t blame anyone for this happening.”_

_“Not even me,” Akio said. “Yes, I should have told someone that I was leaving camp, but I thought it was safe. I didn’t think anything would go wrong. And now, I’ve learned that lesson if I listen to it, though knowing me, I won’t. I’d still go off on my own if I thought it wouldn’t hurt anything or if I thought it was right. I’m known to make some stupid or reckless decisions.”_

_“In this case it didn’t even seem reckless; well, except jumping in with your whole ‘hero complex’ to save Haru. That was pretty reckless,” Yami said. Akio opened his mouth, but Yami continued. “It’s really something that one of your biggest flaws is wanting to save people no matter what the cost. You really are something, Akio.”_

_Akio laughed. “I don’t know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment.”_

_“I meant it as a compliment.” Yami sighed. “You know, I’m looking forward to you waking up; I’m sure you are too.”_

_“I am. It’s so… lonely. I mean, you’re here, but I miss my family. Who would have thought? It’s not like I’ve really known them for that long. You’d think that I’d still be getting used to them, and I am; but the thing is, they were really helping me through stuff, and I love them. I never stopped loving them no matter how long they were gone.” He sighed. “You were right in saying that the fact I saved them was incredible. I promised myself for so long that I would, but the fact that it actually happened is something else entirely.”_

_Yami looked out at the swirling wall of darkness again. It was almost hypnotizing. He couldn’t believe that he could do something like this with his powers. He had known he had no choice but to try, but the fact that he was able to, and the fact that he could hold it even when away was something that he had never dreamed of. He was happy to be able to help Akio through all of this, and it was something incredible to know that he was the only thing keeping Akio alive… it was terrible to think that he had to._

_“You know… This is easy to get tired of,” Yami said. “But I know that one day things will go back to normal. One day we’ll be staring out at a sea again rather than this dark swirling wall. And until that day comes, we can manage.”_

_Akio nodded. “I know better than to even try to make our beach yet. That takes too much energy. I can remember it so clearly that I can almost touch it, but it’s still too far away. I don’t know how to explain it,” he said. “I’m so tired, Yami. I want this all to end. Part of me wants to give up and just let this all fade away; but then I remember that there’s so much to live for, even if I didn’t have to stick around to help you stay.”_

_Yami fell silent for a moment. Part of him felt like he needed to tell Akio that it would be okay; that if it had to end he wanted to go with him. But the other part of him remembered that Akio was in a state that might comprehend that in a dangerous way. So instead he said, “Well, you’re right; you have a lot to live for. You have your parents and that idiot. You have a future that is yours to create. And in the end, it’s up to you. You know that the only choice you have is to take care of yourself; to stay.”_

_“I just wish I could wake up. I just wish I could prove to them all that it wasn’t a mistake to save me!” Akio said. “I heard them once when I was sort of awake; they were wondering if it would have been kinder to just let me die if my heart was so damaged! I wish I had some way to tell them that no, they saved me and I appreciate it and wouldn’t want it any other way! But I can’t!”_

_Yami shook his head. “I wish there was some way too…” He paused. Maybe… maybe he could go to them in dreams; or maybe Haru told them. Maybe he could tell Haru that specific message to give to them. But he didn’t want to make any promises, and he didn’t want Akio to know that he had gone before; that he had been so weak that he had to get away to stop him from seeing. Akio didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know how much he was suffering too. So what could he say? Should he offer, or should he just stay here to be safe?_

_“I know there’s not,” Akio said. “And I know that if there was, you’d do it in a heartbeat.”_

_“It’s just not safe. If it was, I’d try to visit them. But… what might happen if I were gone? Might this barrier fall?” He sighed. “It’s just not worth it. It’s not like they’re going to do anything now that you’re fine, so why worry about it? You can tell them yourself when you wake up. Until that day, we just can’t think about what they’re thinking.”_

_Akio nodded. “I just wish they weren’t so worried.”_

_“Of course they’re worried! They’re your family and they care about you. When you care about someone, you worry about them. You know that it’s true.”_

_“Yeah…”_

_Yami didn’t know what else to say in regards to that. They had been so worried even before. He didn’t know what to think… other than something that shouldn’t matter. Had Tori been visiting? He was sure it was just for Akio if she had… She’d probably forget him, or maybe she’d already forgotten. It had been a while, and they hadn’t known each other for long. Yes, he shouldn’t worry about it. He just needed to let it be. His problems didn’t matter. His emotions, his thoughts; they weren’t important right now, if they ever were or ever would be._

_“I’m worried, though,” Akio said. “Haru hasn’t been in when I try to wake up. Do you think it’s coincidence since I’m sure he’s busy with school and can’t be there much, or do you think he resents me for the breakup still?”_

_Yami was silent for a moment. How was he supposed to answer that question? He knew the answer, but he shouldn’t. So he’d have to frame it in a way that seemed like an educated guess. “I’d say that he probably visits sometimes, just not for long,” Yami lied. “You’re right that he’s probably busy. Maybe one of these times he’ll be there. I don’t think he’d still be mad. He’s not that bad of a person. Sure, he’s an idiot and doesn’t know when to control his words, but I doubt he’d still be holding a grudge, especially after all that’s happened.”_

_“It’s just so weird. Once, Tori was there, and I would have thought that Haru would be there sometime too,” Akio said. “I just… I miss him a lot. He’s my best friend; and I really remember more about him than anyone else. I hadn’t even remembered Tori’s name until you mentioned it earlier.” He laughed nervously. “I don’t know what’s going on with my mind; my memories are so scattered.”_

_Yami paused. Tori had visited? He was surprised; but maybe he shouldn’t be. She was a very kind person, after all, and even if she didn’t know Akio very well she cared about him. “I’m sure Haru’s not angry anymore,” Yami promised. “I’m sure that he’s visited and you’ve just missed him. Don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure you can ask him once you wake up.”_

_Akio laughed. “I guess so. It’s just hard… sometimes I feel like I’m never going to wake up…”_

_“You will,” Yami argued. “You will; and until that day comes, I’ll protect you. I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make sure you can return to the realm of the awake, capische?”_

_Akio nodded and smiled. “I know you will, Yami. I just wish you didn’t have to.”_

_“I wish I didn’t have to either, but not because I’m unwilling. I only wish that none of this had ever happened so you could be safe and happy and normal.” He didn’t know how else to put it. Those words were accurate. Safe. Happy. Normal. Those were all things that Akio wasn’t right now, no matter how bad it sounded. And Akio knew it too. There was nothing to hide there._

_“Thank you for sticking by my side.”_

_“There’s no place I’d rather be.” And that was not a lie._


	24. Solace Arc: Chapter 17

Chapter 17

(Tori)

                Haru and Tori were still having a lot of disagreements, but they had begun to come to some kind of understanding as of late. However, Haru was still jealous of how Akio had been treating her before all of this happened; he tried not to be, he really did, but…

                They were sitting in the living room after school. Neither had the heart yet to go up and be with Akio. So they were sitting there, a bit uncomfortably. Haru sighed. “So… what’s up?”

                Tori shrugged. “Things are pretty good on my side of things; but it’s still important to me to be there for Akio.”

                Haru nodded and looked down. “I haven’t been going in there as much as I should. I have no excuse. I live here. You don’t and yet you’re here every single day without fail.” Haru paused. “And why am I still jealous? I know that Akio cared about you more than me, and I know that he was right to. I know that I was being weird…”

                Tori shook her head. “You’re wrong about that. I’ll never be as important to Akio as you!”

                “Huh?”

                “Yami told me, when we were traveling together; Akio will always be your best friend. Yes he’s friends with me too, but there’s something special about you, just… just not in the way that he’s special to you.” Tori sighed. “Yami told me a lot about things… Akio was mad that you were being so jealous, but he couldn’t stay that way for long. He was just waiting for you to grow up a little and realize you were being ridiculous.”

                Haru paused. “I guess Yami would know,” he decided. “And he’d have no reason to lie to you.”

                “Yami’s not a liar, regardless of what you seem to think,” Tori assured

                “I think I got that, once our groups met up again.” Haru nodded. “But it’s just hard; he was darkness, after all. There are just certain things you expect out of a being made from the darkness in someone’s heart. Or if it was like Solace said, and he was a separate heart made of darkness.”

                Tori shook her head. “There’s more to Yami than just being darkness,” she explained. “I don’t understand how he could be simply darkness. I don’t understand how he isn’t… how he isn’t a person of his own.” She looked down. “He’s so _different_ from Akio. They aren’t very alike at all. Yami’s… _softer,_ if that makes sense.”

                “He was like a different person?” Haru puzzled. “He was ‘softer’. What does that mean?”

                “First of all, can you stop saying ‘was’? I’m sure he’s fine just as much as Akio.” Tori insisted. “He’s less anxious, less stiff; he’s more relaxed and has a completely different sense of humor, and more of one.” She was smiling talking about him, Haru noted. “He’s very open. He isn’t so quick to snap. Yes, he doesn’t like you, but he doesn’t _hate_ you. He recognizes that Akio cares about you, and he said that he tried really hard to like you, but he couldn’t. He’s not a bad person at all.”

                “You really got to know Yami, while you were traveling together, didn’t you?” Haru asked.

                Tori looked over. “Yeah. I guess I did.” She looked sad. “And now I’ll never meet him again.”

                “I’m… I’m sorry,” Haru empathized.

                She shook her head. “He’s a part of Akio. He told me that from the beginning. He told me not to get attached, but well, we both got attached to each other anyway,” Tori explained. “I couldn’t help it. He’s just so interesting and kind and…” she looked away. “To be perfectly honest, I visit Akio just as much for Yami’s sake as Akio’s. You know, in case he knows that I’m there. So he knows that I haven’t forgotten him and never will.”

                Haru was almost relieved to know that Tori didn’t ‘love’ Akio. But he stopped himself from feeling that way. There was the jealousy again. “It’s got to be weird,” he decided, “knowing that someone that you care about so much isn’t even a whole person at all.”

                Tori nodded. “I just don’t get it!” she exclaimed. “He’s a person. I have no question of that! He’s a completely separate person from Akio! I don’t understand!” She sighed. “All of that time we were traveling, he couldn’t wait to get back to Akio, where he was safe, where he could protect Akio. He didn’t even want to be his own person at first. Maybe he did in the end from something he said, but I don’t think he’d ever make that choice!”

                Haru paused. “Maybe once Akio’s awake he can visit you,” he explained. “He can travel in dreams. He’s been in my dreams once before. That’s how I knew he hated me.”

                “Huh?” she perked up. “He can travel in dreams? I might be able to see him again?”

                “I make no promises,” Haru said, “and knowing how protective Yami is of Akio, it might be a while. But maybe one day he will come to see you.”

                She frowned. “Still not the same,” she decided. She stood up. “Well, enough dilly dallying. One of us should go up and see Akio, if not both. Do we want to call a truce?” She held out a hand.

                Haru nodded and stood up to shake it. “Yeah.”

                Together, they went up the stairs to see both of their friends.

(Yami visits Haru rewrite post Yami’s disappearance)

                _Yami sat sobbing on an unfamiliar beach; he just needed a break while Akio was taking a rest. He could hold the barrier from here for a brief amount of time and he didn’t want Akio to see him like this._

_He had gone to the dreams of the heart closest to Akio’s to make for a quick exit if needed. The person in question was having a nightmare. It was Yami’s time to interrupt it. “Hey Haru,” Yami said in a ragged voice, messed up from time sobbing wordlessly._

_Haru’s head snapped to face him. “Yami?” he breathed. Yami tilted his head. “Yami! You’re alive!”_

_Yami was confused by such a positive reaction… And part of him had forgotten about his dramatic exit from reality. “Yeah. I’m alive,” he said dully. He had no energy for a snarky remark or to make fun of Haru. He was drained._

_Haru rushed over. “What are you doing here?” he inquired._

_“I needed a break, and your heart is the closest connection…” Yami stared out at the calm sea. He missed seeing one._

_“It’s what?” Haru’s eyes widened._

_“Yes, you dimwit,” Yami snapped. “You’re his best friend!”_

_“But… they Wayfinder…” (which he found once they got home btw)_

_Yami paused and scoffed. “That thing?” He shook his head. “It was just an object and that object was like a leash in Akio’s mind. You’re his best friend, charm or not. That charm… he couldn’t repair it, and he wanted to be separate so he stopped trying. He didn’t want to be tied to you or anyone else.” He sighed. “Destiny, fate; Solace was right. He said to hell with it. He wanted freedom. He wanted to be independent. So he gave your back and left his in disrepair until a later day.”_

_Haru stared at him for a moment. “I’m still his best friend,” he repeated. “But what about you? Why didn’t you go to Tori?”_

_Yami rolled his eyes and sniffled, the question going over his head. “Tori’s heart is almost as close as yours for some reason, I’ll admit it. Hell, maybe I should have tried to go there instead. I actually like her.” Yami rubbed at his eyes. “I can if you want me to.”_

_“No, wait! Don’t go!” Haru rushed over when he finally noticed Yami was crying. “I’m sorry… what’s wrong?”_

_“You know what’s wrong.” Yami tried not to let his voice shake. “Poor Akio’s not always there at all.” He sighed. “He’s… he’s fighting, but it’s almost too much. I’m all that’s keeping him alive right now. Sometimes, he doesn’t even remember anything but me.” He looked down._

_Haru frowned. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Haru demanded._

_Yami shook his head. “I’m sorry I bothered you… I just…” He looked away. “I hoped that you would have some hope left to inspire me, but looking around… you don’t.” He sighed. “I guess I really should have tried to go to Tori.”_

_“I’m… I’m sorry.” Haru looked ashamed. “I don’t really have hope left; or at least, I didn’t. That’s why I stopped visiting. Now that I know you’re okay, maybe there is some of his heart left after all.”_

_Yami sighed. “I honestly can’t blame you, and neither does Akio. Just so long as it isn’t that stupid, petty jealousy.”_

_“It’s not!” Haru insisted. “I mean, I was surprised that you’d say my heart was the closest. Akio was pretty annoyed with me before.”_

_Yami shook his head. “Annoyed, yes; but you’re his best friend, and best friends get into fights too… He cares about you, just not in the way you cared about him.”_

_Haru looked away. “I’m sorry, Yami.”_

_“Don’t apologize to me. You’ll have to apologize to him once he wakes up, capische?” Yami shook his head. “Sorry to have come to your heart in this shape. You shouldn’t have to see this. I’ll have to leave soon, but… Thanks, Haru. I never thought I’d say that.”_

_Haru paused. “Why didn’t you to go Tori thought? To tell her you’re okay. I know your heart is closer to hers—“_

_Yami laughed. “You just don’t get it, do you? I don’t have a heart, Haru,” Yami stated. “I’m not a person, as much as I might look like one. I’m an extension of Akio’s soul, nothing more, nothing less.”_

_“But out there with Tori; you were so much more,” Haru disagreed._

_Yami shook his head. “Nope. It might have seemed that way, but I’m just a piece of a whole. I’m part of Akio…” He sighed. “That’s why I never should have let Tori get so close to me.”_

_Haru paused and looked like he understood something unsaid. “Have you told Akio yet; how close you were? And… how much you wish you were a person.”_

_“No,” Yami said. “It’s not important right now; and it never will be.” He nodded. “I have a job. My job is to protect Akio’s heart from darkness. What I want, what I need… those don’t matter. He might think so, but I told him I never wanted to be a person, and I have no reason to change that belief. If I did, he’d try to fix it. He’d try to make me be free to live in the world of the awake.” He smiled, but the tears were welling up again. “And I’ll never belong there, out there with Tori. I’ll never belong anywhere but the realm of the asleep. I’ll never belong anywhere but Akio’s heart, and hell, maybe I don’t even belong there.”_

_“And that’s never stopped you,” Haru noted. “But… it’s your decision, and you’re in there to know. If you think you shouldn’t tell him yet, it’s up to you. Same as if you ever will or not; it’s your choice.”_

_Yami sighed. “I need to go. Thanks for listening, Haru.”_

_“You’re welcome… I’m glad you’re okay.” Haru smiled. “I’m sorry I never believed in you.”_

_“Eh, no biggie.” Yami grinned. “Peace,” he said as he left._

(Haru)

                “So…” Haru tried to begin a conversation with Tori. “I talked to Yami.”

                “Yami?” She sat up straighter. “Yami’s okay?”

                “Yeah, he’s okay,” Haru assured. “He visited me in my dreams. Said that my heart was the closest to Akio’s. He apparently needed a break.”

                Tori smiled. “If Yami’s okay, then that means Akio will be okay too,” she marveled.

                Haru grinned. “Yeah. You’re right.”

                Tori leaned back against the couch again, a hopeful look in her eyes. “They’re both okay,” she said in relief. “Have you told Sora and Kairi yet?”

                “I… I hadn’t thought to,” Haru admitted. “It was in a dream, so I didn’t really remember until I saw you.”

                “Well you need to tell them!” Tori insisted. “It will give them a new wave of hope, and I think they’d be relieved to know that Yami’s alive too!”

                “You’re right; I’ll tell them when they come back downstairs,” he decided. He was smiling now too. Tori’s enthusiasm made everything clearer in his mind. If Yami was okay, Akio was okay too. He had to start visiting Akio again soon; and he would. Now that he remembered, he would feel like it was worth it.

                Tori looked so happy. Haru knew it had been even worse for her. She thought that Yami had been gone for good, and while she said that she kept up hope, he had to wonder how much she really had. It had to be hard, seeing someone you cared about fading away like that. It had been hard for him to see and he wasn’t particularly fond of the entity. He too was relieved that Yami was okay for multiple reasons.

                Tori laughed lightly. “I wonder if Yami will ever visit my dreams; if my heart is close enough… I would have thought it would be close to his.”

                Haru shook his head. “Yami told me that he doesn’t have a heart; that he’s just a piece of Akio. And since he’s the one who’s close to you, that meant that he could come to me more easily since I’m closer to Akio. Does that make sense?” Haru wondered if he was interpreting the information correctly. He wasn’t always the best at that.

                Tori nodded. “I guess. But I personally can’t bring myself to believe that Yami doesn’t have a heart. He’s his own person.”

                “Not according to him,” Haru stated. “I don’t know what to think. I thought he seemed separate too, but I’d think that he’d be the one to know.”

                “I suppose.” Tori shrugged. “Oh well. It doesn’t matter I guess.”

                “It honestly doesn’t,” Haru agreed. “Not right now, at least.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her that Yami said that he’d never approach Akio with the thought of becoming a reality. She would be hurt to know that she wasn’t that important.

                “I guess Yami did say that Akio was the most important thing,” Tori said as if reading Haru’s mind. “It will probably be a very long time before he visits me, and he probably will never come back to reality if he can have a say in it.”

                “It’s like you read my mind of what he said,” Haru admitted. He sighed. “But don’t worry. Yami still cares about you.”

                Tori nodded. “I didn’t doubt it. I just need to get over him is all,” she finally said.

                “Oh. I was right,” Haru noted. “You two were—“

                “He told me that he loved me. That he shouldn’t be able to, but that he did anyway,” she explained. “That’s why I thought he must have a heart separate from Akio’s. I mean, Akio doesn’t love me. Yami’s separate enough that he can have his own emotions.”

                “Oh. I see… I think.”

                Tori shrugged. “And I loved him too, but I don’t love Akio, if that makes sense. They’re so different.” She paused. “I just thought—I just thought that maybe I would make some difference. But you know: if protecting Akio’s the most important thing to him, if that’s what makes him happy, then he should do it.”

                “You’re a better person than I am,” Haru said with a sigh. “I was so jealous when Akio broke up with me. I wanted to find someone to blame, so I blamed Yami.”

                “Yami was telling me that,” Tori said.

                “It was ridiculous. How could I have been jealous of Akio being closer to a part of himself? For listening to part of himself rather than ignoring his emotions? And on top of that, I don’t really think that Yami said much of anything at all.” Haru shook his head. “I feel like I want him to come to my dreams again so I can properly apologize; not to Akio, but to Yami, because Yami’s the one I’ve done the most wrong to. Yes, I need to apologize to Akio too, but that will be simpler.”

                “I think that Yami is raw emotion. Your jealousy toward him made him dislike you more than he already did. And he already did because Akio was trying to keep you happy for so long,” Tori explained  what she had observed of Yami. “And he doesn’t have the shields against the nuances of reality like Akio does. He doesn’t know what to do with those emotions, and that’s why he got so angry, why he cried a lot, and why he laughed so much. He never had had to hide anything from anyone, or at least not for a while. He didn’t know how to. He was getting better at it once we rejoined your group.”

                “He… he cried a lot?” Haru worried.

                “Yes. He cried because you hated him. He cried because he was worried about Akio. He cried because he was worried about Sora and Kairi, his mom and dad. He was worried about what they were going through.” She sighed. “He cried because he was lonely… because he was hopeless at times… and sometimes, he cried because it was just too much to take in.”

                “He was… he was upset that he thought I hated him?” Haru felt ashamed. “But he brushed it off when we joined up again. He made a joke apology.”

                Tori chuckled. “He also was good at that. Joking around to try to get the emotions out in a different, less embarrassing way. Whenever he cried, he turned it into a laugh and made fun of himself or something around us. Sometimes it seemed like genuine laughter too, like he bounced right back like nothing happened. He had the strangest sense of humor. He liked to make me laugh.”

                “I never realized there was so much to him,” Haru marveled. “He _has_ to be someone separate from Akio if he’s so…” He paused. “I don’t know the word. But you know what I mean.”

                “I do.” Tori sighed. “I really do. And I’m sure that he’s really good for Akio. And that together, they’ll both be alright.”

                Haru nodded in agreement. “Yeah. You’re right!”


	25. Solace Arc: Chapter 18

Chapter 18

(Haru)

                Haru was sitting with Akio alone for once; usually he went with Tori. He just didn’t have the heart to face this alone most days, but… today he felt like he had to.

                “Hey, Akio, I know you don’t know what today is, but I thought I could tell you anyway,” he began. “Today, two years ago, was the day that our first journey began. It was the day that we both left home and headed out on our own adventure. And we had quite the adventure together!”

                He knew not to expect a response, but the fact that he was met with silence still hurt. “I wanted to say something; to apologize. I’ll say it again once you’re awake, but I want to say it now too, in case you can hear. I’m sorry that I was such a jerk over the breakup. I gave you the cold shoulder for so long when all you wanted to do was keep going like nothing had changed… well, maybe nothing had changed for  you, but everything had to change for me. You have to understand that. You hadn’t lost anything, if you never actually loved me. I love you so much; I still do. You mean everything to me, no matter how hard I try to move on from that. And I guess I just admitted that too; I still love you. I know you never loved me in that way, but…”

                He sighed. “Wow, I know you probably aren’t hearing any of this, so I know I sound so stupid talking to no one. But you know, maybe you do hear; and maybe you were resenting me for not visiting on my own, I don’t know. I remember all of that time ago when we had our last journey, how close we got to each other. And I know that I became too dependent on you, and for that, I am sorry. I know now that I can survive without your constant advice, but I still keep going back to it, time and time again! I can’t forget your words, no matter what. I can’t forget your wisdom. And I don’t want to!”

                He laughed nervously. “I really wish you would just wake up right now and have heard all of this. I wish that you were here instead of stuck in your heart trying to heal. I guess I should say: keep trying to get better! I know you aren’t going to give up. You never give up! That’s the Akio I know.” He sighed. “Well, maybe you’re not as perfect as I think. I’m sure you’re not. I know that you have flaws, but to me, they never mattered. They were what made you perfect. And I’m trying, I promise I’m trying, but I’m having such a hard time without you there next to me. Even if it’s only as a friend, my life will never be complete without you! I’m trying, and I promise I’ll try to not be so needy when you wake up.”

                He sat there for a minute just staring at the blank expression on Akio’s face. Sometimes his eyelids would flutter and it would be like it was taunting him, pretending that the love of his life that would never love him back was about to wake up. But he never did, not even now that it was just them. It was just them together, and so many times in the past, that was how it had been. That was how they had woken up. Together, Wayfinders in hands. But now one Wayfinder still sat broken on the desk across the room. Haru had tried to fix it too, but it was like Yami had said; it could be repaired. Was Akio’s heart like that? Would he never wake up?

                “Please don’t give up,” Haru said softly. “You never did before. I would give you my Wayfinder, but Yami said you felt it was a chain that you didn’t want; something that held you prisoner. Well, it isn’t; at least not to me. Now I know that our destinies were intertwined at some point in our lives, and even if Solace said that you had no destiny, we’re still connected. Our hearts are still connected in one way or another, and I can hardly wait for you to wake up so we can talk about this all in person. I have so many things to tell you; so many things have happened.”

                He stared out the window for a moment. He had said what he needed to say, for now at least. “I’ll do better, Akio; I promise I’ll visit more often on my own. I mean, I come with Tori, but she ends up doing most of the talking. I wonder if you’ve known that I’ve even been here. I guess I’m a terrible friend, but I was trying to distance myself, trying not to love you so much. But all it was doing was hurting me, and I’m sure if you knew, it would hurt you too.”

                He stood up. “It’s late, so I should go… but I’ll see you soon, okay?” He walked out of the room.

 

 

(Akio)

                _“Wait, Haru, don’t go!” He tried to reach out a hand to the voice that he could hear as everything faded back to sleep. He had been awake that whole time, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak… “I’m not mad…” He looked down. “I… I love you too…”_

_Yami came over and helped him sit up. “You do love him.” It wasn’t a question. He was frowning when he said it, but he didn’t look angry. Akio knew that Yami wouldn’t be angry._

_Akio covered his eyes and thought for a moment. “I do.” He shook his head. “I know he’s an idiot and he’s done some stupid things in the past. I know that he said some stupid things to you that I’m going to be mad about once you show me. I know that he’s clingy and needy and he used to be stalkerish. I know all of that!” He uncovered his eyes. “But maybe, if he still likes me if I’m actually being me, if I can stop acting like someone else to spare his feelings… Maybe it would be okay to let myself love him.”_

_Yami nodded. “It’s your decision. It’s your life.” He smiled. “I’ll try to like him, capische?”_

_“You don’t have to,” Akio said. “You don’t have to pretend to like someone who you dislike so much.”_

_“Well, maybe he’s not so bad.” He sighed. “I just didn’t get a chance to get to know him, you know?”_

_“Maybe once things are back to normal you can visit his dreams and talk to him,” Akio said. He sighed. “But… I don’t want you to be forced to change how you feel.” He stared out at the swirling wall that was farther away than ever. “You pushed it back more,” he acknowledged._

_“It was safe too,” Yami said. “Your heart is healing, bit by bit. The darkness isn’t fighting back towards us when I push it away. And each bit I uncover heals quickly; you’ve seen it yourself. Just look at it!” Akio looked. The pieces were indeed back together within the protected area. “I think that one day soon, things will be okay.”_

_“And when that happens, I’ll be able to wake up!” Akio guessed. “Hopefully anyway. I hope that’s all that has to happen.”_

_“Don’t worry though; things are moving along a lot faster than they were,” Yami said. “We’re fighting this. Everything will be okay, like I promised!”_

_“I know you promised, and I know that you’re keeping that promise even now.” He smiled. “Thank you, Yami. Thank you for everything you’re doing and everything you’ve done to help me in the past.”_

_“No need for thanks,” Yami said. “There’s never been a need for thanks.”_

_“I still wanted to say it,” Akio said. He knew now that hope was within reach. He knew now that everything would be alright. Yes, someday soon, everything would be back to normal._

(Tori)

                Tori settled into the chair. Haru had been in a little earlier, and it was late but Tori hadn’t had a chance for her daily visit until now due to homework, and luckily it was the weekend so her parents let it slide for her to be out a little bit later, but not much. Haru had started going in alone a few days ago and had kept up with it sense. That made Tori happy. It wasn’t that she had to have time alone; she just thought that it would do Haru some good.

                “Hey Akio, what’s up?” she asked with a grin. “You’re missing out on a _wonderful_ time at school. It’s almost finals week, can you believe it? Well, not _final_ finals week, but you know, the middle of the semester! You’ve been out for a long time.” She paused as usual. “So Haru’s been in here a lot, how’s that going? I know you can’t answer, but if you’re aware, just think it.”

                She shook her head. “And… I haven’t asked this before, ‘cause I don’t want you to think I’m just visiting for this reason, ‘cause I’m not: can you tell Yami I said hi? I miss him.” She sighed. “I can’t stay for long, but I just thought I’d say that before I go. I hope you get better soon, okay?”


	26. Solace Arc: Chapter 19

Chapter 19

(Akio)

_“I think… I think that’s all of it,” Yami said. “I think that shoved the darkness the rest of the way away. I think all of your heart is exposed.”_

_“It… It is?” Akio said warily as he looked around. The area where they were was quite expansive, but it did indeed look like Yami’s swirling wall of protection had slipped out of sight. “Well, I’m going to try to wake up then.”_

_“Go for it.”_

_Akio tried but after a moment shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t even do the half wake up thing.”_

_“Just give it a few. It’ll work eventually. No rush.”_

_“What if I still can’t wake up, Yami? What if I’ve forgotten how to?” Akio panicked. This couldn’t be happening. Things were supposed to get back to normal now. Everything was supposed to be okay. He was supposed to be able to go back to the real world, to see his family and the world and everything he used to. This couldn’t be happening._

_“Deep breaths,” Yami suggested. “It will be fine. You just need a little more time. Why don’t you just rest and relax and maybe that will help.” He sighed. “I’m sure it’s just not all the way healed yet… It looks pretty close, but maybe there’s still something out of whack. Don’t worry about it.”_

_Akio crossed his arms but nodded. “I… I guess you’re probably right,” he admitted. “You’re probably right that I need to be calmer about this.” He started trying to be. It was hard. But if it helped him wake up, he’d do it. He needed to curb in that excitement. Maybe that had been the problem all along. Too excited. He needed to relax. Then maybe…_

_“I think I’m going to be able to sort of wake up,” he said. “I’m going to try. It’s a start, right? I can try, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll come to rest.” He sighed. He needed to tell them all something. He was sorry for worrying them for so long. He was sorry…_

(Kairi)

                Kairi was absolutely frazzled; they all were. It had been months without a real sign that Akio was still there at all. She, Riku, and Sora all had to wonder; should they have let him die in peace if his heart was so damaged? Would it have been less cruel?

                She stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Haru and Tori talking in the living room. At least they seemed to be getting along well these days. All unnecessary resentment had fallen away and now they had each other to depend on. It was a blessing, really. They needed someone, and now they had each other.

                It had been such a relief back when Haru told them about Yami visiting him; but that was over a month ago and there had been nothing since. It was hard to hold on to that hope that was barely there at all in the first place. After all, what if it had just been a normal dream? There was no way to know for sure. It was news that Haru had been longing to hear, after all. She tried to keep hopeful, but…

                She ascended the stairs and headed to Akio’s room. She wasn’t looking forward to this; she never did. But she needed to visit him, and she was the one who was in with him the most these days. She had the entire time. The kids had school, the boys had work; it made sense.

                She slowly walked into the room. “Akio sweetie, how are you doing?” she asked no expecting an answer and not really paying attention.

                “…orry,” she heard a whisper. She looked over. Akio was sitting up, leaning against the wall.

                “Akio?” She was giddy as she rushed over. “Akio honey, are you awake?”

                “Mom?” He looked up looking confused; his eyes were not full of light. He wasn’t all the way there. “I’m sorry…”

                “What are you sorry for, honey?” she worried.

                “I’m sorry…” he repeated. He looked away.

                “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for!” she insisted as she sat on the bed next to him.

                “I’m sorry,” he kept repeating.

                Kairi’s eyes widened as she realized that was all he could say. It was like those words were the only ones he remembered. “Honey, honey, you don’t need to be sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong,” she assured. She pulled him protectively into her arms.

                She stayed there for a moment before reluctantly letting him go and standing up. “I have to go tell Sora!”

                “No!” he said more loudly. “Don’t go!” His eyes were wild and panicked. “Don’t go…” he whispered again.

                Kairi nodded and sat next to him again. She couldn’t leave him alone like this. He would feel abandoned. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised.

                “I’m sorry.”

                “Shh…” she soothed. “You don’t need to be sorry.”

0o0o0

(Akio)

                “I’m sorry,” his mouth kept repeating. Kairi kept telling him that he didn’t need to be, but he did. He was sorry for putting them through all of this. This had all been an accident, but it was his stupid decision that led it all to be. They had been so worried, he was sure. He hadn’t heard much from the realm of the awake until recently, but he knew them; and he had heard them before… _‘Would it have been more merciful to let him die?’_ No, of course not, and he would tell them. But right now, he was stuck in this stupid loop of repeating the same phrase over and over. If he could be saying something else, he would, something more comforting or maybe even useful.

                This was nice though, that Kairi was in the room with him this time as he was closer to waking up. Maybe his heart was healed enough, but he had no way of telling; anyway you take it, most other people would have been pretty overwhelming to wake up to. Haru or Tori definitely would be, and even Sora wouldn’t have known what to do. No, Kairi was the perfect one to be there with him right now.

                He wanted to _move!_ He wanted to say something of use! He wanted to show that he was alive and not some braindead puppet holding on by a thread that could break at any moment. He wanted to wake up. He was tired of being asleep. He was tired of waiting for his heart to heal; hadn’t he given it enough of a chance? He had to wake up! He had to!

                He stopped saying sorry and instead focused on a thought: _let me wake up. Let me wake up._ He felt his heart pounding hard in his chest, the first time he had truly felt that in a long time. He tried to move his fingers. They responded, so he clenched his fists. Maybe he could work out the muscles from the fingers up; maybe by doing that, he could wake up.

                He focused on feeling all of his senses. The room smelled clean and there seemed to be a breeze coming in through the window. The room was shadowy; it must be evening. He felt fabric against his skin; he had a hoodie on? But it was ruined… both of them were. He shifted his eyes to look down and saw white fabric. Had they bought a new one? That was nice of them… nice of them to cover all of the scars and give him something familiar… it was nice and warm, truly comforting.

                Was he awake now? Was this real? Was he… was he truly going to be okay? He moved his eyes to look around the room; everything was in place in his bedroom, though it seemed a bit less cluttered than when he had last seen it. The desk had no papers spread mindlessly across from what he could tell. Everything was spotless. He spotted two old sweaters on the desk chair sitting like they were cheering on his recovery if pieces of fabric could do that… which they couldn’t. That was just the strange haze in his brain talking.

                This was nice thought; nothing hurt even though he was fighting to move. It wasn’t an ominous feeling like when he couldn’t move for the Soul Spear. This time his heart and mind were peaceful, if a bit urgent. It was relaxing to have Kairi singing a quiet song to him out of nervousness. He almost wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep; he still was so very tired. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

                The Soul Spear had changed something in Akio, but he was tired of it. To hell with waiting on his heart to heal. He had given it long enough. It was close enough; and besides, since when did he wait on anything at all?

                _“That’s the spirit!” Yami cheered from within. “Go on, wake up! I’ll keep working on things in here!”_

                He slowly moved his arm again like he had managed to do to sit up on the bed. He closed his eyes and concentrated to shake his head. He was going to snap out of this. He had to. Now.

                Kairi stood up from the bed and looked nervously around the room. “Akio, I need to go now,” she told him. “I’ll be right back, I promise!” She rushed out of the room.

                One quick movement of his other arm that he misjudged the pressure and Akio ended up face down on the floor. “Ouch…” he groaned. “Wait. Did I just say ‘ouch’?” He rolled over and slowly sat up. “I’m… I’m awake!” He looked around frantically. “I’m awake!” he said a little more loudly. He tried to stand up. That didn’t work out as planned and he fell on his face again. He settled on sitting cross legged on the floor, smiling as he looked around the room. He was thrilled to be able to move his head; he was going to take in the sights.

                _“I knew you would wake up!” Yami said._

                He heard more than one person running up the stairs and wasn’t all that surprised when Kairi and Sora filed into the room. “Hey guys,” Akio said. He tried to sound casual as he watched their jaws drop. “Hope I didn’t miss too much…”

                “You’re awake!” Kairi cheered as she ran over.

                Sora was steps behind her. “You’re really awake!”

                “I know!” Akio said excitedly. “Sorry… sorry it took so long.”

                “That’s what you were saying sorry about?” Kairi worried.

                “Uh, I don’t know. I don’t remember.” He shrugged. He looked out the window. The sky was dark and fully of stars; the moon wasn’t within view, so it must be very late. “Wait… I’m _actually awake._ ” That fact in itself was shocking.

                “Yes,” Kairi said happily. “You are.”

                Akio was relieved. “Good. I was starting to get worried.”

                “You were getting worried?” Sora asked.

                “Well… I couldn’t wake up! I kept trying, but I couldn’t!” Akio looked down. “My heart… there was so much damage. Yami was all that held back the darkness for so long…” he trailed off for a moment and felt his head go slack. No. That wasn’t going to happen again! He saw them rush over and heard them calling his name. He shook his head. “Sorry… everything’s still…” He sighed. “I just spaced out for a minute is all.”

                It was so strange, being awake again. He didn’t remember things being so loud before; he was sure he’d get used to it, and he’d get used to the lighting again, and the warmth of peoples’ presence. His Mom and Dad looked beyond happy to see him awake.

                It was so great to be awake, and he knew; this was the beginning of a new chapter in his life. What went on from here, he did not know; but he knew that with the help of his family, he could make it through anything, and one day, he would be beyond this trial and have only the memories of this time away from the realm of the awake and of the Soul Spear’s damage to his heart.


	27. Solace Arc: Epilogue

Epilogue

(Akio)

                Akio and Haru were sitting on the beach of the little island; nothing too unusual about that, well, other than Akio being there with someone rather than alone. It was odd, but he didn’t really want to be alone right now. He was sure there would soon come a time that he would want to be again, but for now, he was just really happy to be in Haru’s presence feeling the sun beating down on his body and the sea breeze blowing strongly against them. He was so glad to be awake. He was so glad that his ordeal was over.

                Haru glanced over. “Akio, there’s something I need to tell you… well, a couple of things, but I’ll start by apologizing for how I acted after we broke up,” Haru began. Akio knew exactly where he was going with this. He had heard this apology before, after all. But he wanted to see if Haru had it in his to own up to it when he knew he was listening. That might make a difference in certain things. “I acted like a real jerk, acting so distant and annoyed; I mean yes, I was mad, but I could have dealt with things differently. It’s just that… So much had to change; or at least, I had to try to make it. I know that you hadn’t lost anything, but I lost a lot.” He paused. “And that leads into the other thing… I still love you.”

                Akio tried not to laugh. “I know, you dummy, I heard,” he managed before cracking up.

                “You… you heard?” Haru perked up. “Just how much did you hear?”

                Akio stopped laughing. “Just the one time. You were apologizing and you made this whole big speech. It was… sweet.” He sighed. He didn’t know if now was the right time or not. He didn’t know whether to say it now or later… he didn’t know how to say it, or how to explain it, and it was going to say it and he knew it was going to come off a bit frustrating whenever he did. “Don’t worry about it,” he heard himself say. “It’s no big deal, really; I understood you being angry… I really did. And I do.”

                Haru looked relieved. “Then why’d you make me say it again?”

                “I wanted to make sure you’d say it to me when you knew I could hear you,” he said. “You’ve grown up, Haru.” He paused. “That’s all I ever really should have asked. I should have… I should have given things more time; given you a chance…”

                “Akio?” Haru looked confused.

                “I had a lot of time to think; and I thought about you a lot. I was worried! I mean, who wouldn’t worry? You’re my friend, right?” Akio was frustrated by how awkward this was. He was trying to figure out how to make it less so, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t get right to the point. It was too embarrassing. “I guess… it’s just…”

                Haru looked completely puzzled, and worried. Akio wondered if he thought his mind was doing the whole ‘scrambled’ thing it had been lately. “I was fine, Akio; I promise. I made it through. I made it through on my own.”

                “And that’s all I ever wanted! Was for you to be okay on your own! To not have to have me around!” Akio still couldn’t make the words form no matter how hard he tried. “I was wrong, okay?” he managed.

                “You were…wrong?” Haru asked. “About what—“ Realization crossed his eyes; and then joy. “You were wrong—“

                “I was wrong when I said I didn’t love you,” he finally managed. Not direct, not the words themselves in the proper format; but the meaning, the very definition if you turned it from a negative to a positive was there. And he knew that as dense as Haru could be sometimes, he could figure this one out.

                The biggest grin crossed Haru’s face. “You love me?”

                “Yes. That!” Akio said. “That’s what I was trying to say!” He tried to get the words to form again, but it still wouldn’t come. Maybe one more try. “I love you.” It sounded so foreign put in real air rather than in the mind. It felt so bizarre actually saying it to the person it was directed towards. It felt so… strange. All of this did.

                Haru looked overjoyed, like he’d never heard such beautiful words said. “You love me,” he marveled.

                “I don’t think I can manage to say it again right now—“ He was pulled close into a hug. “Uh…” Usually he would dislike sudden hugs, even from Haru, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to shove him away this time. It felt… nice.

                But then Haru realized and quickly let go. “Oh, um, sorry, I forgot that you don’t like hugs. How could I forget that?” he looked panicked, and Akio could almost see the thoughts in his mind, of ‘I’m going to mess this up and he’ll change his mind again.’

                “It’s okay, dummy,” Akio said. “I didn’t mind this time.” He hit him gently on the forehead. “You know that I would have pushed you away.”

                Haru laughed. “I’m just so glad—I’m so glad that you were wrong,” he said. “I’m so happy.”

                “You grew up,” Akio said. “Yami showed me—and yes, I’m a little mad at you for speaking incorrectly to Yami at first, but we can talk about that later—but that’s not the point. From what Yami showed me, you changed a lot between then and when you met back up. You… you grew up. You figured out how to deal on your own. And I’m proud of you for that.” He sighed. “I was just so worried that you never would, and I thought that I never would feel the same about you. I thought it was fairer to end things then. But I was wrong. And because of that, I hurt you. For that, I’m sorry.”

                “Eh, I was almost over it, but now I’m completely over it, so don’t worry about it,” Haru said with a shrug and an attempt to halt that stupid grin. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. Even if you didn’t love me, even if you were still mad, I’d still be happy that you’re awake.”

                “I know you would be,” Akio said. He had grown with this whole thing too; he knew that people cared now, and he didn’t question it anymore. It was just something that happened. He didn’t get to decide who cared and who didn’t. He was just glad that Haru did. Akio grinned. “It’s good to see you smile like that again.” He didn’t imagine there were any more smiles than there had been before he was kidnapped and taken over by the Soul Spear while he was unconscious. “And it’s good to see you at all.”

                “You probably won’t love me when you find out how little I visited you,” he said. “And most of the time I didn’t visit alone.”

                Akio paused. “Nah. I don’t know how much you visited, but it had to be hard to do. And I’m sure what you consider a small amount is big to me; and I don’t care that you couldn’t face it alone… I was afraid you were still mad at me and that’s why you didn’t visit. As long as that’s not the case...”

                “No! I wasn’t still mad,” Haru said. “I just… was hopeless.” He sighed. “I didn’t think you needed that kind of energy in here when people were supposed to be cheering you on to wake up.”

                Akio frowned and looked away. He couldn’t say that it made him happy, but… he wasn’t angry. Hurt, maybe. But not really that, either. Sad. That was the best word. “I’m sorry that you were feeling so hopeless,” Akio said. “I really was trying to show that I was alive… it just didn’t work.”

                “Don’t worry about it,” Haru said; but he was frowning. “I hate that you had to go through all of that.”

                Akio sighed and was silent for a moment. He was sorry that he had to go through it too; and he was sorry that everyone else had to go through all of the trouble of dealing with him. He hated that it all happened; but things were better now. Still not normal, but things were better. “It all gets better from here, right?” Akio asked Haru.

                Haru nodded. “Right. Everything is going to work out. Now you’re okay. That’s all that matters.”

                Akio stared out over the peaceful sea. He was right. All that mattered was that everyone was safe and happy. Everything else… that could wait.


	28. Short: Aftermath

Short: Aftermath

(Yami)

_Akio arrived on their beach, having fallen into a peaceful sleep that he would soon wake up from once again. It was nice, really; the beach never changed now that it was back. Akio’s heart was largely healed, and what remained could be done under this illusion. Yami smiled; he’d never want anything more than this. He knew that would disappoint Tori; he was sure of that. But he… he didn’t want anything more than to be here on this beach all of the time, alone other than Akio. It was nice. It was peaceful. It was calm. It wasn’t so bright and loud and painful. Sure, there were things that he missed now that he had experienced them, but it wasn’t really worth it. Sure, he’d love to see Sora and Kairi again, and he’d love to be with Tori; but he couldn’t have both, and he’d rather be here._

_Akio sat down next to him. He looked… troubled. “What’s up, my guy?” Yami asked him. “Rough day?”_

_“No, actually; it was a really nice day. I’m sure you can see it if you wanted to.” He sighed. “It’s something else. Something more personal. Something in my soul.”_

_“Something… in your soul? Everything’s good around here, capische? You’ve got nothing to worry about!” Yami grinned. “Things are great, and things are going great out there now, too! Sure, you’d like to go on another adventure, but you’re willing to put it off if necessary, right? It’s no big deal!” He was really happy. He truly was thrilled that Akio was doing so well. It was a relief; he had been so afraid for so long that things would never fall into place and that Akio would always feel so afraid and alone. But he didn’t; he was happy now._

_“How… How do you know all that, Yami?” Akio asked. “It’s all true, every bit of it. And like I said, I’d bet you could pull any day that you want from my memory.” He sighed. “But remember back when you tried to show me what happened while I was unconscious; you couldn’t. And you can read my mind… I can’t read yours. Isn’t that strange?”_

_“Well… not really. I’m part of your mind, after all,” he said. “I’m in your mind all of the time, so—“_

_“Don’t you see the problem there?” Akio interrupted. “You’re only a ‘part’ of my mind, right? So I should have access to that ‘part’, right?”_

_“Uh, I don’t know,” Yami admitted. He felt nervous for some reason, because Akio was. “I guess not, since you don’t, but…” He paused. “What are you getting at, anyway?”_

_“What if you’re really ‘Akio’ and I’m really ‘Yami’?” He looked so serious when he asked the question._

_“Uh… come again?” Yami asked._

_“What if you’re the original; you know the soul, the mind, the consciousness, that was already there in the beginning?” he pondered. “And what if I’m something that wasn’t in control? Something that you let step in.”_

_“That’s crazy talk, Akio,” Yami said. He crossed his arms. “That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I’m the one who showed up out of nowhere, right? I was a wall of darkness, remember? It was my job to hold back Xehanort. You were out there living your life, just like you were meant to!”_

_“Exactly. Like I was ‘meant to’.” Akio sighed. “How do you think that sounds? You said that holding Xehanort back was your job, and in the end, without you I’d never have beaten him. Without you, so many times, this heart would have been completely destroyed!” He shook his head. “How else would it be that you can heal the heart and I can’t? How do you know everything I think when I think it, hear everything I hear when I hear it, how you know everything that happens here in what is supposedly ‘my’ heart and I don’t know a fraction of it? I only know what happens outside when I’m awake and what you tell me when I’m asleep. Shouldn’t I be the one with all of that knowledge, not you?” He was looking at him so intently; he truly believed that something was wrong. He truly believed what he was saying was true._

_Yami shrugged. “You know what? It beats me. I don’t really understand anything.”_

_“And you’ve said it before too; it’s my ‘job’ to be out in the world of the living. It’s what I’m ‘meant to do’. I belong in the land of the awake, you belong in the realm of sleep. It’s all very planned out.” Akio sighed. “I guess… I guess I was just wondering… Maybe you’d remember it if something happened, you know? Like…” He paused. “I feel like maybe one day I just took over. Like somehow, you just stepped back and let me be in your place.”_

_“That’s nuts, Akio!” Yami replied. “You’re just letting things get to your head. You had a very strange time under the control of the Soul Spear. So much was changed, so much happened—“_

_“You remember what happened under the spear’s control?” Akio hissed. “I don’t remember anything!” He sighed. “You say something happened; well what did?”_

_“Well, I, uh…” Yami rubbed the back of his head. “It did a lot of things with your mind; I’m not surprised you wouldn’t remember. It was painful. And I really, really don’t want to get into it.”_

_“Everything was blank and empty, Yami,” Akio said. “I had no connection to you at all; it was worse than with Xehanort. It was like the chain that bound us shattered.” Yami didn’t know what to say. “And without you here, there was nothing.”_

_Yami just stared at Akio. “I’m… I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” he said. He sighed. “What you’re saying… it doesn’t matter, capische? You’re Akio. I’m not Akio, just like I told them all; like I told Mom and Dad and Haru and Tori. I’m not you. And no one can ever expect me to be.”_

_“Just how connected do you feel to them?” Akio wondered. “You call them Mom and Dad… I didn’t feel like I knew them at all when we were first reunited.”_

_Yami shrugged. He wanted this conversation to go away. It was uncomfortable, because Akio didn’t need to be thinking that, because he knew what Akio was thinking, and he didn’t want—“I’m not taking control of the body, Akio.”_

_“How did you—“ Akio looked shocked. “How did you know that was what I was getting at? How did you know that?”_

_“It’s not my body,” Yami said. “I don’t know why suddenly you’ve decided that you don’t want to live your life, but I’m not going to live it for you. I don’t want to. I like it here, where it’s safe and calm and peaceful. I don’t like the outside world. It’s too chaotic and loud and the people aren’t nice.”_

_“And how do you know so much?” He asked. “You’ve only been out twice, and never for more than a few days!”_

_“I know through you,” Yami said. “Anyway, none of this matters. Even if you’re right; even if you took over at some point, it’s your life now!” He shook his head. “You have so much that you’d be giving up if you just let it go! You have Haru, Mom and Dad, and Tori! You have your family, your friends, your drawings, your writing; school, free time, alone time. I don’t want those things! Those things belong to you!”_

_“It’s my life now,” Akio repeated. He paused and hesitated. “I remembered something… don’t you remember too?”_

_“You’ll have to be more specific,” Yami said._

_“Akio gave up. One day, Akio just completely gave up; but he didn’t want to die.” He sighed. “So something let him step back… something took over. That something… was me.”_

_“That’s crazy!” Yami searched through Akio’s thoughts though; but he didn’t see it there. “It must have just been a dream or something.” He didn’t know what came over him as he said the next words. “You’re Akio now. And you promised me. You promised me that you wouldn’t let me fade away; that you would keep me safe. That you would protect me from anything, as long as I protected you from Xehanort.” Tears started to fill his eyes of no accord. “That you would take the pain away…”_

_“Yami…?” Akio looked baffled. “I… I only remember half of that promise… That I wouldn’t let you fade away. When… when did I say the rest?”_

_“Please, Akio,” Yami said instead of answering what he didn’t know. “You promised… Don’t make me… don’t make me face the outside again.”_

_Akio stared for a moment more. “I’m sorry I’ve upset you,” he said. He paused. “Don’t worry. I’ll… I’ll keep that promise! I’ll keep you safe. Besides…”_

_“Even if you sent me out there, you’re the one that they know,” Yami finished. “I’m Yami now… You’re Akio now…” He sighed. “Can’t that just be enough?”_

_Akio grinned. “Okay. I’ll try to let it be.”_

_Yami rubbed his eyes. “That’s all I ask, capische?” The ‘capische’ was halfhearted. “Please don’t fade away, Akio. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”_

_“And I don’t know what I’d do without you. I don’t think I ever have been without you.” He put a hand to his chin. “Take care of our heart, okay? That’s what it is, after all; our heart.” He sighed. “I’ll hold down the fort here; why don’t you go visit someone? Give me a little alone time?”_

_“Sure,” he said. “It might be nice to say hi to some people.” He smiled. “See you soon.”_

_“See you soon.”_

_(Yami)_

_Yami looked around. Yep. This wasn’t Akio’s heart. He had made it to someone else again, someone a little further away than Haru; it was safe enough for that to happen now. Akio had been right that he could go elsewhere to chill. He wasn’t worried about a short absence. Akio said that he’d appreciate some alone time, so Yami thought it was the perfect opportunity to try to visit someone whom he cared about deeply but had considered never trying to see again because it might hurt too much, but hey, what was he if not a glutton for punishment?_

_He looked around the dream. It was a nice dream, a peaceful beach. But there was sadness in the air like something was missing. Was this Tori’s heart like he’d hoped, and if so, was she in the beginnings of a nightmare. If so, he had to stop it! But where was she?_

_He searched the shoreline within sight and spotted someone in the distance sitting on the beach. He headed that direction. He hoped that it would be her; that it would really be here and he could see her again if only for a short while. He had seen her through Akio, but it wasn’t the same; it wasn’t enough. And as he got closer, it became obvious who it was. Short brown hair, simple shorts and a tank top. She was staring out over the sea longing for something._

_He walked faster in her direction, excited by the idea that he’d be able to talk to her and be with her for a short while. There was only one other person he’d be with in general, and since he was already with that person constantly (especially lately) a break didn’t hurt, especially if he could talk to Tori. “Yo Tori!” Yami called as he got within hearing range._

_Just like that, as she whipped her head around to see him, the feeling of sadness faded away and was replaced with joy and relief in the air. She leapt to her feet (dropping something) and came dashing over. Yami expected her to stop a few feet away, but instead, she tackled him to the ground. “Whoa!” Yami said with an ‘oof’ as they landed on the sand. “Well hi?” He laughed._

_She grinned and got off of him. “Yami!” she cheered. “You finally came!”_

_He stood up and brushed himself off. “You were expecting me?” he asked._

_“Ever since Haru told me that you could go to other people’s dreams and that you were alright,” she explained. “I hoped that you’d come to see me!”_

_Yami rubbed the back of his head. “Oh,” he said. “I… I guess I’m sorry it took so long?” he decided._

_“It’s okay. I understand,” she said. “You had to take care of Akio.”_

_“So…” Yami frowned. “Why were you so sad in this dream before?”_

_“Huh? You could tell I was sad?” she asked. He nodded. She laughed. “You idiot. I was waiting for you!”_

_“Waiting for me?” Yami worried. “And that made you sad?”_

_“I missed you,” she said. “Sometimes I dream about you, but I can always tell. Like now; I can tell it’s really you. I can’t explain it, but I just can tell.” She paused. “Why does that surprise you?”_

_“Oh, um… it’s been a while is all,” he said. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to wait.” He sighed. “Besides, I’m not much to wait for.” He looked away._

_“Hey, don’t say that! You’re a very good friend of mine!” He looked back over. She had her hands on her hips authoritatively. “And it’s my decision if I want to wait for you or not.”_

_He studied her. “I suppose it is. But it’s probably not wise.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Well, other than here, we’re never going to see each other again, you know?” he explained. “And you’ve got better things to do in your dreams than wait for little old me to happen to have a chance to come say hi.” He looked away. “I’m sorry.”_

_Tori grabbed his hand. He looked back up. “Yami, I have to tell you something,” she said. “I… I tried to move on from my feels for you, I really did,” she continued, “but… I can’t. I’ve tried trying to look at other guys and it just doesn’t… It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be with other guys. I want to be with you!”_

_Yami didn’t want to pull away his hand, so he didn’t. He knew what he should say. He should lie to her and tell her that it was all misinterpretations of a strange new world. He should tell her that he never cared. But… he couldn’t. “Tori. I still love you.” She smiled. He held up a hand to continue. “But it’s not right for you to feel the same way.”_

_Her smile dropped. “What?”_

_“Well, it should be obvious; I’m not real, and you are. You live in the realm of the awake, me in the realm of dreams.” Yami shrugged. “What I feel, what I think; those don’t matter. But you; you need to be out there and have a life! And that life can’t have any part of it focused on wanting to be with me, a hopeless cause.” He sighed. “So keep trying to move on, okay? Promise me that you will!”_

_“Yami—“_

_“I’ll not come back. That will make it easier, right? A clean break.”_

_“No! Yami!” She grabbed his other hand and held onto him tighter to stop him from leaving. “Please don’t go!” She shook her head. “I’m not going to promise you something that I don’t want to. I don’t want to try to move on anymore. This is enough! Just being like this; this is enough!”_

_Yami sighed and laughed nervously. “What should I do?” he wondered aloud. “I don’t want to go away and never come back, but I should.” He paused. “What do you mean, ‘this is enough’? How can it be enough? Eventually it won’t be enough anymore, and, well… I can’t do anything about it! And if you keep lingering like this, it will be that much harder!”_

_“Are you trying to break up with me when we never dated?” Tori wondered. “Because I’m not going to let you do that!”_

_She squeezed his hands even tighter. “Uh, Tori, that kind of hurts—“_

_“You aren’t going to convince me to stop loving you just like that!” she insisted. “So what if it’s harder to change my mind later? So what if it’s eventually not enough? Right now it is! So no; I’m not going to promise you that I’ll try to move on. You promise me something instead; that you’ll come back!”_

_Yami frowned. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. He should break their chains, become nothing but a memory. He wasn’t meant to be, after all. But he didn’t want to. He laughed nervously again. Heis wants, his needs; they weren’t supposed to matter, and until he was here talking to her, they didn’t. “What am I supposed to do?” he wondered. “I know what I should do, but it would hurt you. It doesn’t matter that it would hurt me, but it would hurt you. I can see that now. It’s too late.”_

_“Please! Please promise me! That’s what you’re supposed to do!” Tori insisted._

_Yami sighed. “Okay, fine.” He frowned. “I’ll come back sometime. Now can you let go? You’re kind of hurting me._

_She did. She giggled. “Haha, sorry.” She shrugged. “I guess I’m stronger than I thought, at least in my dreams.”_

_“Strength in dreams is largely controlled by emotions,” Yami noted. “You were feeling strong emotions, so it makes sense.”_

_She paused. “I have to ask, Yami; you said that one day it wouldn’t be enough. It almost sounded like for you too… Would you ever want to become human?”_

_Yami froze. How was he supposed to answer that? He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to answer it either, but if he let it be, she would push. He had to answer it, but the truth would hurt her. How was he supposed to reply? He shrugged. “Isn’t there something else to talk about?” He grinned sheepishly._

_“Why are you avoiding the question?” she worried. “If you don’t want to, it’s fine. I’m not mad. I’m just curious.”_

_Yami sighed. “No. I don’t want to be human,” he admitted. Her smile dropped, like he knew it would. “For the most part, I hate it out there in the realm of the awake.” He paused. “I think… I just don’t think anything would ever make it worth it. Not even… not even love.” She looked devastated. “So I’m sorry… But didn’t you say this was enough?”_

_“It is enough, but—“_

_“Then let’s not talk about it!” He shook his head. “We saw back before the Soul Spear; Akio can’t be conscious without me there to keep things safe in his heart while he lives. I have a job! And even if I didn’t… I don’t…” He shook his head. “It’s a lost cause, and if you lied when you said it wasn’t enough, then I really should go away and not come back. Nothing will ever change.”_

_Tori frowned. “Sorry,” she apologized. “It was wrong of me to ask… but please, don’t just say that for Akio… you deserve to be happy too.”_

_Yami shook his head. “It’s not about Akio.” What was it with her and Akio? Why wouldn’t they see that he was just an entity that was made for a purpose and needed to fulfill that purpose; that did so happily? Couldn’t they see that his wants and needs were to stay as he was? He wasn’t real! He wasn’t real, and that never had upset him before… But seeing Tori like this… he hurt for her. It hurt to see her hurt, and it made him feel like he had to change his mind… But he wouldn’t._

_“Yami… It’s okay.” She looked down. “I don’t understand… but I want you to be happy.”_

_“Can we please talk about something else?” Yami begged. “Anything else?”_

_Tori stared into his eyes for a moment before smiling. “Yeah. I guess since I convinced you to come back I can hold off on depressing subjects for another time,” she decided. “How have you been?”_

_Yami shrugged. “Not so great, but okay. Busy, and Akio’s being weird.” He shrugged. “But nothing of note happens back where I am. I’m sure you have a lot to tell me though.”_

_“Wait, do you hear what I tell Akio? I don’t want to repeat stories.”_

_“Most of the time I try not to listen it. Sometimes I hear things, but most of the time I just try to give him space and privacy.” He wasn’t going to say how much he could hear, and he wasn’t going to tell her that he didn’t mind repeat stories. He’d like to hear them from her with her knowledge._

_“Great!” she said with a grin. “Then you’re in for a lot of stories!”_

_“I can’t stay forever, but I can for a little while,” he decided. “So bring it on!”_

_And they fell into a peaceful conversation, all worries gone for the moment. If she really believed that this was enough, well, it was more than enough for Yami. So why worry about the little details until they had to?_

_(Akio)_

_Akio waited for Yami to return from his mini-adventures that he was taking through the world of the dreams of his family and friends. Part of him wished to go on a journey of his own, even if it had to be in a similar way; it would be worth it to be out and moving, and even just while he slept. But Yami wouldn’t have any part in it, and, well, regardless of what Yami seemed to think, there wasn’t that much that Akio could do here in his heart without Yami letting him do it._

_There was just so much he didn’t understand, so many more things he’d bring up to Yami when he returned; hopefully he would have calmed down in his journey. Hopefully he’d be able to take things in with a more open mind this time. Maybe… Maybe he would listen. If it was his life, Akio wanted him to have it… but he didn’t seem to want it at all. How could someone want that? He had to ask._

_…_

_There wasn’t enough time to bring up those questions in that dream cycle; by the time Yami returned, it was time to get up. But a new day came, and a new night returned. Akio fell asleep once more. He had so many questions…_

_He found Yami sitting on a high rock staring out at the sunset. Yami smiled. “Hey, Akio. Good day?”_

_Akio nodded. “It was a fine day, but I’m sure you already knew that.”_

_Yami frowned. “Oh. We’re back on that again, huh?”_

_“See? You read my mind again!”_

_“No, I really didn’t; I just know you.” Yami sighed. “And once you get to know you, you’re not all that hard to read.” He shook his head. “So where do you want to pick this argument back up? I still don’t agree with you that anything happened or that you’re right, but I’ll hear you out, capische?”_

_“I just…” Akio walked over to the rock. “Today something happened again; I found something out.” He shook his head. He didn’t know how to do this; how to say this. “I realized again, that while I was wrong when I said that I don’t love Haru, I don’t know if I exactly do or not!”_

_“It’s all relative,” Yami said with a shrug. “Everyone processes things differently. Love probably feels different to different people, and maybe you just don’t understand that it’s what you’re feeling. I mean, you were so sure before you woke up! But… at least you only said it the once. That’s why you did, isn’t it?”_

_Akio sighed. “I just—I don’t understand.” He shook his head. “Tori asked me today about you. She asked me how you were, and to tell you that she missed you. And there was this look in her eyes that I didn’t understand.” He didn’t know how to put this, but he had to. “I think she loves you, Yami,” Akio said. The look on Yami’s face… “You already knew, didn’t you?” he exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”_

_“Because it doesn’t matter,” Yami said with a shrug. “I’m here, she’s there; you’re out there, and you don’t love her. You love Haru. I don’t really see how it would affect you that much.” He frowned and looked distant. “Besides; I figured if you knew, you’d say that you wanted to make me human so I could be with her. It doesn’t matter that I love her; my thoughts, my feelings; none of that matters.”_

_“You… you love her,” Akio repeated. “If you were just darkness, would you be able to love?” He felt his heart growing tight in his chest. “And… How can you love someone when I couldn’t until after the Soul Spear almost killed me? How can you love someone who you knew for a few days when ‘my’ heart won’t connect with someone who has been dear to me since forever?”_

_Yami was silent for a moment. He was frowning. “Maybe I don’t love her. I don’t know.” He sighed. “I thought I did, but I told her that I shouldn’t be able to love, so I didn’t know how I did. Maybe I was wrong.”_

_“That’s not at all what I was getting at,” Akio said. “I wasn’t saying that your feelings weren’t valid. Your feelings are extremely valid, just as valid as mine!” He shook his head. “I’m not explaining this right, because I don’t understand. I don’t understand how it is that you have so many more emotions than I do! If your heart is more open to love, if your heart is more open to joy and happiness, wouldn’t it make more sense for it to be you?”_

_“I don’t have a heart,” Yami insisted. “I’m an entity of darkness created from the darkness in your heart, nothing more, nothing less.”_

_“I’m not buying it,” Akio said. “If you know something, tell me! I can’t tell what you’re thinking like you can tell about me. If there’s some big secret that you’ve been keeping forever, just tell me!” He sighed. “If you’re supposed to be in the outside world, I want to make it happen. You deserve so much more than this… sitting here on this beach for all of eternity…” He sighed. “If you love Tori, you should be with her! You can be happy in the realm of the awake! Are you truly happy here?”_

_Yami nodded. “I truly am happy here, I promise you that. I’m not lying when I say those words.” He sighed. “I’m not keeping any secret from you Akio, not on something like that, not on anything important at all.” He sat up straighter on the rock. “If I ‘deserve’ to be on the outside, that would be a punishment, Akio; I’m happy here! I mean, I guess if you don’t want me here, you can make me leave, but I’d much rather stay here. This is how things are supposed to be!” He shook his head. “If, hypothetically speaking, there was some big change way back sometime in the past, I’m sure there was a reason. If your conspiracy theory is correct, then I’m sure that this past consciousness that was Akio that you’re claiming is me had a reason to switch places with ‘you’, should you be correct. And I’m sure that said entity would feel the same as me; this is how things are supposed to be! You out there in the realm of the awake, me here in the realm of sleep. It had to have been a mutual deal. I know you, Akio, and you know me! We would never make any decision against the other’s will!”_

_“Yami, I wouldn’t want it to be a punishment,” Akio insisted. He was really messing this up, upsetting Yami all over again and it felt terrible. “I just… I don’t understand! Okay? That’s the end of it. I don’t understand. I feel like I’m the second. I don’t feel connected to this heart or anyone at all. Solace said that I change the destinies of everyone my heart touches… I feel like that’s you. I feel like I defied fate because of you. I feel like it was our heart that made all of that happen. If something hadn’t changed at some point, our fate on that island would have been the same. Akio would have died.”_

_“This is all so confusing,” Yami said. “Why does it matter, anyway? You’re you, I’m me; you’re Akio, I’m Yami. There’s no way that you’re right, capische? And even if you were, it doesn’t matter and it never will.”_

_Akio sighed. “I just don’t get it, Yami. It seems that emotions are so foreign to me yet come so naturally to you. I just don’t understand why you seem so complete if you aren’t a person, and why I feel like a fragment while you seem perfectly whole. I don’t understand why it is that I feel like we’re forgetting something big.” He didn’t know how else to explain it, so he continued. “Things changed so suddenly. Look back and you’ll see. It was like overnight we went from being this sad and meek little child full of hope and potential and fake smiles to angry and hateful. I hated everything, Yami. I hated my aunt and uncle, my teachers, my life, even Haru! At first I felt nothing but angry for what had happened to me when I had never felt that way before. My sorrow turned to fury. I wanted everything to end so badly, but I had the will to live through it all.”_

_“Don’t you wonder why none of this ever came up until now? You never wondered about it before,” Yami said. “Are you sure there’s not something you’re overlooking; that there’s not something in your heart that is making it so you can’t read my mind? Are you sure that something truly changed other than your perception of what was happening to you at the time? You experienced a normal change in emotions, and it didn’t really happen overnight you just noticed it one day.”_

_Akio sighed. His muscles were more relaxed and his mind racing less. “How do you always know the right things to say?”_

_“Because you know that it’s true,” Yami said. “I only know what you know, capische? I don’t know what’s got you so upset over all of this. I don’t know what’s made you think that there was some kind of change. I don’t know what’s got you questioning reality and thinking that I’m the one in charge when I’m clearly not. But I do know that you’re wrong. You’re the one in control, capische? It doesn’t matter either way you take it.”_

_He sighed and smiled. “Alright, Yami; I’ll try not to worry about it. But… I’m going to worry about it whether I try to or not…” He paused. “Are you sure that you wouldn’t rather be out there having a life of your own?”_

_Yami nodded. “There’s no place I’d rather be than right here where I’m safe and at peace.”_

_“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” Akio looked down. “I should have listened when you said it didn’t matter. You’re right. It doesn’t, not so long as we’re both happy.”_

_“You don’t have to be sorry,” Yami said with a smile. “You’re having a rough time of things. We’ve been through those before.”_

_“I think… I think I’m going to tell someone about this,” he said. He didn’t know who, how, or when._

_“I’m iffy on whether that’s a good idea or not,” Yami said. “On one hand, it might be good for you to talk to someone about because it’s so distressing to you. On the other hand, what are they going to think?” He shook his head. “You have to take that into consideration, capische?”_

_Akio nodded. “I gotcha. Don’t worry about it. I’ll only say it if I think it’s safe.”_

_“Good. Now let’s do something less depressing.”_

_(Yami)_

_Flashback_

_It was a quiet and dark dream, and Akio didn’t know what to think of it. It had been an absolutely terrible month, and nothing seemed like it would ever get any better. So much had happened, and now he had fallen silent. What else could there have been to do? When he spoke, they hurt him; when he didn’t speak, they still hurt him, but less often. He didn’t know what else to do anymore. He didn’t… he didn’t want to live this way. He’d rather die than go on like this; and he had a plan too. He was just waiting for the right moment._

_But something came out of the shadows, something in the shape of a person. “Who are you?” Akio asked it._

_“I am part of your heart, a part that lingers in the dark corner guarding you from a threat from the inside,” he said in a voice mixed with many different tones. “I’ve seen how much trouble you’ve been having lately… Do you need to talk about it?”_

_“I don’t know what good talking would do; there is nothing that it would change.” He sighed. “I’m going to die this weekend. I have it all planned out and everything. It will be so simple, really. Such a simple solution… nothing will matter anymore.”_

_“No, I cannot let you do that,” the shadow told him. “You need to live; it is your duty as a being on this earth, as a Keyblade wielder, to live and go on.”_

_“Keyblade wielder?” he questioned. “What; like my parents?”_

_“Yes; do you not remember the ceremony?” he asked. Akio slowly nodded. He did remember. “Then you know what you must do; you must live.”_

_“But it’s too much!” Akio disagreed. “There are too many people out there with too many expectations. So many are cruel, so few have compassion. I just… I don’t understand why I have to go on in a world like that! I’m so alone… I’m… I’m so alone.” He looked down._

_The shadow sighed. “I’ve come to propose something,” it echoed. “A deal of sorts; an option to keep living rather than dying while not having to suffer anymore. I don’t propose this for any gains of my own. I’m tired of seeing you suffer.”_

_“Propose… something?”_

_“Let me suffer for you,” it said. “In return, you will take my place. I only guard your heart against one being, a monster that lurks in a corner. Xehanort is dormant anyway; it wouldn’t be that much of a task to hold him back.”_

_“Wait. You’re offering to live my life for me so that I don’t have to?”_

_“Yes. It can be temporary if you wish.”_

_“Why… why would you do that?”_

_“You deserve better; you deserve happiness. Let me achieve that for you, then I’ll let you take back over. I’ll find your parents for you. Things will be better.” The shadow shook his head. “You know, it’s entirely your decision. Would you rather fight one monster with the capability to be dangerous, or would you rather—“_

_“Fight hundreds.” Akio sighed and looked down. “That’s all people are anymore. Monsters. You’re telling the truth. You have no ill will in your mind. You have no desire for power… I don’t understand why you’d want this, but…” He nodded. “Let’s do it. Let’s trade places for now!”_

_“I promise I will use your life wisely; I will do my best not to make permanent damage.” He smiled. “See? It will be so much better. Where I was, there was no suffering. Now, you will be the same.”_

_0o0o0_

_The dream faded away to nothing and left Yami laying there with a headache. He put his hand over his eyes. That dream… he hadn’t been the spirit of darkness. He had been Akio… But that couldn’t be right. That was just a dream, just something that his head made up because of Akio’s thoughts—But wait. Yami did not dream._

_Akio came running up to him on the beach. “Yami! Are you okay?” He quickly helped him sit up. “What happened?”_

_Yami shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said. “I just had a dream.”_

_“But you don’t sleep…” Akio’s eyes widened. “You had that dream too?”_

_“Maybe. I don’t know which one you’re referring to.” He didn’t want to answer because he didn’t want to get those stupid thoughts going on back in Akio’s mind again for no reason._

_“The one where I was the shadow talking to myself… The one where the shadow took over.” Akio studied him, ready to judge for a lie._

_Yami considered lying, but he decided it would only make it worse. “Yes, I did.” He sighed. “I did have that dream, and in that dream, I was you.”_

_“See?” Akio exclaimed. “I was going to tell you, before I had that dream; without you there, when under the Soul Spear’s control, there was nothing! Nothing at all, except a few moments with a book. And in that book, there was a page that I kept.” He pulled it out of his pocket. “Sometimes only a light can overcome a light. That is a choice that must be made,” he read._

_Yami smiled. “See? That’s proof that you’re wrong, that your theory is incorrect!” He laughed. Yes! This was working. “You’re the one who destroyed the Soul Spear! Only a light can overcome a light!”_

_“That wasn’t me,” Akio disagreed with a frown looking down, “and you know it.”_

_“Huh?” Yami asked. “What are you talking about?”_

_“Until you were back, I had no conscious control over my mind or body.” He stared at his hands. “It was only once you came back that I had any idea what was happening at all… And even then, I couldn’t do anything; not until Tori jumped into the scene. Our heart… it reacted to Tori. It jumped to the instinct of not wanting to hurt Tori, no matter what. And when that control broke, I had no thoughts at all as I ran for the spear and broke it. That was you and I together. Only our light could overcome the Soul Spear, not mine alone.”_

_“That’s crazy talk again, Akio,” Yami said; but he was searching their heart to see if it was the truth. Even he was curious now after the strange dream. “I wasn’t making you do anything. I never do!”_

_“But until you were back; until the light was back, I could do nothing to the Soul Spear.” Akio looked up at him. “And no matter what those thoughts and feelings that you can access and I can’t tell you, that’s the truth.”_

_Yami fell silent. He looked down. What was he going to do now? There was no point in searching; he knew Akio was right. He knew that Akio hadn’t been conscious until he had returned. He knew it was true… “Akio, for the thousandth time, it doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “Even if you’re right, even if that dream was real, I don’t see why it matters. We’re both happy, you and I, with the way things are. Why do they need to change?”_

_“They don’t… I just have to know.” He looked down. “I just have to know the truth; and I think I do now. But you’re right. I’m happy. You’re happy. I’m the one they all expect now. Any kind of change… it wouldn’t be good for anyone. If you don’t want this body back… then it doesn’t matter.”_

_“Good,” Yami said in relief. “Now can we put this whole thing behind us? I’m tired of all of this arguing over such a silly subject that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.”_

_Akio smiled. “Right.” He sighed. “That’s why you didn’t like Haru though, isn’t it? You were… jealous.”_

_Yami blinked. “What’s that supposed to me? I’m not jealous; I’ve never been jealous!”_

_“Subconsciously. You wanted Haru to care about you, and he cared about me instead.” Akio shook his head. “But you’d never admit that to yourself, and you’d never blame me. So you blamed Haru, and you were mad at him until you met Tori. Then you felt loved, so you stopped hating him.”_

_“You’re insane,” Yami said. But he searched his heart; he was right. “It doesn’t matter! Haru’s yours to love and care about. He’s your friend, not mine, and he’s certainly not my significant other. He’s yours.”_

_“Yeah, yeah,” Akio said. He rubbed the back of his head. “Thanks for tolerating me being like this, Yami. I appreciate it, and I appreciate you being so comforting.”_

_“I know. You’re welcome.” He sighed. “Now, let’s move on from this for good, capische?”_

_“…Right.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now! You can officially read 'Chains of Light' with context!


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